You are absolutely not a failure in any way at all. I am glad you pointed that out, but I also want to make sure that it gets recognized and said from someone else. It's far too easy to feel that when a child is struggling in so many different ways.

To medicate or not? This is such a profound question and struggle for so many parents. As I am sure you know, medication has shown to be quite effective in treating symptoms of ADHD. That said, medication is not always the answer and in some cases, it is just a matter of personal preference. The real answer to your question lies within your take on medications, what you want to see in your daughter, and how she manages her symptoms.

From the sounds of it - she is doing well in school (compared to before). That said - what is different at school versus being at home? My first thought is the structure and expectation. Perhaps your daughter behaves at school and then comes home and releases her energy.

There are a lot of factors at play here: 1. Being the oldest daughter - there are certain roles and behaviors that follow being the eldest. 2. Her age - and development. Where is she at compared to other children her age? 3. What is her diet like? Diet can have a profound impact on how a child manages the day. Protein adds good energy to get through the day versus, say sugar. 4. What else might be going on? Are there certain things happening at home or at school that could be contributing to her behavior?

There are a lot of health issues / stressors that can mimic symptoms of ADHD and certainly make them "worse," for lack of a better word.

Does she get special help at school? Has she been evaluated at school for services or a learning disability (other than ADHD)?

Does she exercise during the day? Would it make a difference.

I have more questions than I do answers - but that's the best way to really start figuring things out.

I would highly recommend a book called "Parenting Children With ADHD" by Vincent Monastra. It might provide a great place to start.

Hope this helps,

Rory

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