My son was taking Adderall and the anger issues were extreme! He had "melt-downs" after school daily when his meds were wearing off. He is now taking Focalin and those issues have calmed considerably. It takes about 15 minutes before meds begin working, and that 15 minutes seems like hours. However, I haven't heard that I am evil, or the worst mom in a while. during the 15 minutes, I make sure that the tasks he is doing are written and posted for him and I just tell him to "check his list" vs. telling him all the things he should be doing. Since you have two angels, you might want to stagger the time you get them up and give their meds immediately. That way, you wouldn't have to deal the behavior of both of them at the same time.

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I have a 7 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago when he began kindergarten, We went through many moral and ethical arguments before we made the decision to medicate. The final straw, was after i had picked up my son from kindergarten anfter his ninth suspension in the first nine weeks of kindergarten, and i frustradedly asked him why he couldn't behave. And in a very sad quiet voice he told me "Mom i dont know.

He and i talked alot about what his "Brain Vitamins" would be able to help him with and what he might feel like when he takes them. Even though it was my desicion as a parent, we approached it very positively. ADHD children are unusally bright and can understand alot of things that you wouldn't expect them too. And while my son may not have understood all of the details of what medicating means, he knew that he needed help to be able to maintain his behavior and focus. He understands now that he gets that help in the form of a "Brian Vitamin' every morning. Along with the aid of an amazing public school for gifted and special needs children, it will be the combination of medication, behavior therapy and constant structure that enables him to suceed.

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I have an adopted daughter who is 12 and was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD when she was 6. Since, she's been given almost all diagnoses under the sun mostly due to her hostility and poor peer relations. She has treated me terribly with the name calling, cusing, intimidation, and throwing things, holes in wall, etc. as many of you mentioned. We've tried all different kinds of medicene combinations, and various therapies which contridicted from one to another. It is the most discouraging feeling of helplessness when you do all you can and don't see results. She has been on Concerta since she was 6 and then added meds. None really made a difference. So we recently took her off all and are trying Adderall and she does seem better. We still have the anger issues and at times they are very intense. We are finding that often her anger is projected on us from whatever social or perceived issues/anxieties she is dealing with at school or within the neighborhood. She, like many ADHD children, are not mature enough to talk about feelings and often have poor esteem and fear talking about their problems because it only validates how bad they really feel about themselves. Although I can empathize, it is unacceptable to not hold her accountable and she needs the consequences. If something is important to these kids, it is amazing how much energy and focus and persistence they can put into it. It will only be when she realizes that she will lose something important to her will she begin to try to be respectful. I'm learning I cannot give her wiggle room or she'll take me for all it's worth. Kids, especially ADHD kids, need to know where the limits are. They need the structure. If they don't have it, they don't feel safe and will act out/become bossy/mean because they don't trust that you are in control. They are out of control and need to know you are in control. The problem I have is being consistent and not "reacting" to her hostility toward me. She can push my buttons and if I react, she no longer has to be accountable because I've become part of the problem. Find out what motiviates your boys. I ground for disrespect but if my daughter is showing respect she gets stars which takes away grounding and if she gets stars and has no grounding, she gets special privileges--increase allowance, Starbuck's hot chocolate, etc. When she feels she has something to lose, she begins to think about what she needs to do to earn freedoms. Granted, she's been grounded since we started, but she does take more notice and tries to calculate what and how she can remove those groundings. It also makes the outbursts her problem, not mine--because I can just say, she has a tally (3 tallies=grounding) so she has the warning without me reacting. She then needs to decide. I hope this helps. It has to be tough with twins. I know I'm at the end of my rope with the one:) Good luck, Colleen

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We started about a month ago putting our 5 year old son on medication. First we tried Ritalin which I liked but it was very difficult to get him to take it twice a day and his moods were up and down. When he’s coming off the medication he is EXTREAMLY hipper. We tried the Adderall XR this weekend. The 5mg. just doesn’t seem to be enough so we upped it to 10mg. that’s when we saw the temper. When I spoke to the doctor she said for us to try it for a week at the 5mg. I don’t understand why we need to keep trying it. If the medication doesn’t build up in your system then why continue it? We use the point chart. Our kids earn points for things and the loose points for things. During the week they can spend their points to watch tv, but first they have to have their homework done, eat dinner, and bath completed before they can spend their points. This is helping with reminding me to keep it positive. When my son looses points he gets very angry but I redirect him to how he can earn a point. We thought we were the only one’s going through the “I hate you, I’m running away, ect”. I try to sit down and tell him not to use those words but that maybe he could use “I’m mad, I’m upset that I’m not getting my way”. This helps at times. It’s so hard and what works one day doesn’t always work the next. Sometimes when it’s so hard and I feel like I can’t do it I just start praying and that changes my attitude which helps. Our children are a blessing and I believe the Lord gave this to my son because he knew he could handle it and he knew this would make us better people. It’s those hard times that make you grow!

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We have a son who just turned 13 and has been on a number of medications since preschool. He was diagnosed at age 3 and even at that age had severe anger outbursts and was hard to handle. It was so bad at times that we were taught by his therapist how to literally wrap him in our arms and legs until he was calm enough to not hurt himself or cause some kind of damage. As he got older and more understanding of this outburst problem he gradually was able to cope somewhat better. However, his problem with control is still difficult especially when his Concerta given at 7 AM before school wears off and his after school methylin kicks in. We have found a really good psychiatrist who he relates to and can call at any time day or night. He has him on omega 3 three times a day and after blood work discovered a B1 dificiency is also on that. He has carefully monitored him and also is treating him for bipolar disorder, something we suspected for a while. Our son's background is complicated since he is actually our grandson who we took from his parents when he was 6 months old and adopted. One vital point in his treatment was our understanding of his problems and education on how to deal with them. It took a while before we could cope with his outbursts and as he has gotten older his lashing out verbally more than physically. I have had to walk away numerous times reallizing that he really didn't mean what he said and after he calmed down he would come to appologize. It is still difficult for him to remember to think before he speaks or reacts to a difficult or adverse situation, especially since he is entering those teenage years and hormones play a big part at this age.

I would suggest that your talking with whoever is treating your twins and discussing how best to handle your situation may help since the options are endless. Treatment ranges from behavior modification techniques, of which there are MANY, medication adjustments, to therapy where you all talk together could be a help. Main thing is don't over react when a situation comes up since this only fuels the fire.

Hang in there and God bless all of you.

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Hi All, I am a mother of a 10 1/2 year old boy who was diagnosed by a pediatric neurologist with ADHD 5 years ago. Prior to that we were told by a nurse practicioner that he was on the autistic spectrum. He had numerous developemental delays and sensory integration issues. Life was not fun with rage fits, irritability, impulsivity, school challenges and sensitivities. At the end of Kindergarten he was given an IEP with a classification of non-specific learning disabilities. We began giving him a nutrition product 6 years ago and seeing a positive difference. We did not give him enough however so in 1st grade tried meds too. Oh my what a nightmare with Adderall and Focalin, after one pill he was up till 3 AM trying to hit us and destroy the house. The lowest dose of Strattera was good. We then found out how great the nutrition product was when I became a distributor for the company and learned that he just needed more nutrition. So he has been off the Strattera and doing NO meds for the past 2 1/2 years. He is doing great and getting A's and B's in school, his immune system is strong, he has received no supplemental help at all for the past 2/12 years too. It tastes good and he only fought me once in 6 years about taking it. If you would like to learn more about it and see if it would bless your family email me at ruckert@ptd.net. It has a money back guarantee so you are risking NOTHING. I am now a happy mom with a great kid! Linda

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I have a girl, not a boy, with ADHD and experience the same anger issues described. But, to boot, I am the evil stepmom! Double whammy. My step-daughter lives with me full time and we have custody. She is 8 1/2 and has 3 other siblings that live with us. She was diagnosed at 5, although we knew much earlier on that she was off the charts ADHD. We have tried every medicine known to man. Currently she is on 15 mg of Focalin XR, but recently we added 2/5 mg of Dexmet...(the generic Focalin) at 6:30 am. I give it to her while she is laying in bed still half asleep. I go back at 6:45 and tell her it's time to get up and get ready! Oh my gosh - what a difference this has made with our mornings. She also takes another 7.5 mg of the generic Focalin at 2:00 pm before she comes home from school to do homework. This has also made homework tolerable. It still takes her forever to do it, but now she does it without the fits and without telling me how mean I am, that I never help her, etc. I would encourage you to ask your doctor about it. Good luck!

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My son is 10 and has ADD. What makes thing worse is that he has a mom (me) who also has ADD. We found that Ritilen made him too emotional and he had many mood swings, so he has been taking Concertal 36mg for about a year now. He is doing much better.

I try so hard to keep the household peaceful and happy. If I can send him to school happy, I have won half the battle. The problem I have is my husband is a military man who enforces dicipline which does not help when you have a ADD child with an attitude.

My son does not see the point of going to school and learning when he could rather just stay at home and play.

I agree with one of the other comments above that when he speaks with me in a disrespectful way, I send him to his room and tell him to sort his attitude out and come back when his behaviour is more acceptable. This usually works.

We also use the "actions have concequences" approach. We praise and reward good behaviour and take away privilages for bad. Even though I feel so hurt when he calls me a bad mother, I try and understand that the smallest task or request of him seems like a mountain to him.

Just think what would happen if God had given your child to someone else who did not have the patience and the love you do. Just the fact that we are on this site trying to get advice and reach out, makes us pretty good moms I think. It might take them a few years to realise it, but I promise they will.

Hang in there

Anthea

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It loks like everyone has the same sorts of experiences - wonderful, manageable children once the medication has kicked in and less than wonderful and manageable children before (and to a degree after) medication. Both my children take Concerta (one takes 54 mg and the other takes 36 mg plus 2.5 mg Ritalin - the first release of Concerta is not enough of a dose). The 40 minutes wait while it begins to work can be absolutely terrible - not to mention the before it is time to take the medication period.

Both my children also have Asperger's and them calling me a jerk is usually one of the nicer things that I can be called in the lag period. Our neighbourhood is often treated to a monlogue from my youngest in the mornings that would curl the hair of a sailor.

This morning we were very late in giving the younger one her medication so by the time we got to Church it still hadn't begun to take effect. Trying to stop two children killing each other in the pew during the first hymn was interesting and I ended up taking the youngest one out during the last verse - before the congregation were treated to some less than Church-going language. FIve minutes later I had a totally different child and we resumed worship/Sunday School.

Three deep breaths usually helps (glass of wine in the evening is also good) and having everything organised for getting dressed and out the door in the morning also helps in as much as it reduces confusion. One task at a time and the oven timer set for a period by which it must be completed can work. If there was a way to have the medication take effect in under 40 minutes, that would also be great - or for the first release of Concerta to be 2 or 3 mg more that would also be great.

Good luck

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I have ALOT to say on this subject. I am really not that into all the medicines but not against them either.I knew when my daughter was about two that she was ADHD but would not take her to a doc to confirm. She met all but three of the criteria for severe ADHD so I really had no doubts. i researched researched and researched. I decided to use behavior modification and strict schedules. Unknown to most parents with ADD/ADHD children, most of these children respond best to having routines...doing things the same way at the same time everyday of the week and knowing that certain things will happen on certain days of the week every week. WE, parents, have to understand that we have unique children.They are going to learn differently, play differently, and respond differently than other children their own age. However, this is not an excuse to let them have bad behavior...we are still responsible for teaching them to be responsible for their behavior just like we would any other child. Sometimes it seems we are being too tough because "they can't help it" but it is up to us to TEACH them that THEY CAN HELP IT....they CAN gain control over themselves. I homeschooled my daughters so I got the added benefit of being able to give my daughter the real one on one teaching that she needed until we had some family problems and he father felt she needed to go to public school inthe ninth grade. She got into trouble with drugs...lots of impulsive behavior. This only led us to take her to pchiatric care. After being in drug rehab and seeing the amount of teenager addicted to Adderall in that place, I would NEVER allow them to put her on that medication. She was placed on a few medicines but settled on Concerta which helped her best. This past year she has been on a mood stabalizer and no ADHD meds: She has been able to hold down TWO jobs, do volunteer work several days a week, and she is an honor roll senior in HS preparing to go to college. She has stated that the behavior modifications that she learned early in life have really helped her and are still helping her now. She is still sure to write down the things she needs to do for each job or project so she does not FORGET anything. She always watches her behavior around people and is always pleasant. She can have her "meltdown" in private but not in front of people. She still tries to watch what she eats: sugar, white breads, RED DYE!!, overly processed foods, any processed meats, fast food. So thats just how I did things...all children are different: but we found the behavior modification did the most long term good for her but for a few years she did need meds while she went through harmone changes. She will be coming completely off all meds in May and plans to start college med free...we will see how it goes. (Her doctor agrees that she may be ready) NOTE: NEVER, EVER was she ALLOWED to disrespect me and say ugly things to me...even if she wanted to....I just simply did not tolerated it! I didn't say ugly things to her and she wasn't allowed to say them to me! Nobody hit in our house, so she never even thought hitting anything or anybody was an option (she actually made this comment to her doctor when talking about being upset). YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR HOME! Keep in calm...it is a place of peace for THEM and YOU! give them a trained outlet for when they are upset, something that is okay to do...your family has to come up with what is okay to do) My daughter ran when she was upset. Or exercised. That was her outlet. find a constructive outlet for all this energy...that is mostly what the anger is..pent up energy and frustration. I hope this helps somebody!!

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