Maybe it's an ADD thing, I don't know. All I know is the same thing happens to me. It drives me nuts. I have so much to say inside my head--I'm really quite eloquent. But when it comes time to actually speak out loud all the words fly away. I forget words, concepts and facts that I need to express myself. It's frustrating. It gets me in trouble at work and it's kept me from advocating for myself too many times. This is scary now that I have to advocate for my daughter in school.

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I can work through my outline. Here are some ideas .... Whether you have an outline or not, stick to your main points (KIS). If anxious, practice your first sentence, thought or point well. The others will come once you prime the pump. Check your outline at the end to make sure you've covered all your main points. If you feel you need a minute to do that, tell your counselor or audience "give me a minute to make sure I've covered everything."

My struggle is mostly with new ideas flooding in the brain, observations about non-verbal cues from others (no way they'll get a word in edgewise), looking out the window, stating a point while critiquing my last one and thinking of what my next one is, watching passersby, etc., and trying to take notes as I do that. Oh well . . .

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Practice! Write out your "speech" and read it to yourself in the mirror. and then read it outloud again, and again, and again.

My problem is a combination of distractions and emotions and that "on the spot- deer in the headlights" freeze. If I need to discuss something emotional, or even if I am frustrated (at myself too) I will break down in tears. Repetition makes it easier for me. I release the emotional energy the first time I verbalize it (you gotta read it outloud- in your head doesn't count)! Residual emotions are released the SECOND time... and so on.

When I need to "have the talk" in real life- I try to focus on the speech itself as I had practiced. If I get "stage fright" from the eyeballs staring at me judging me... gasp! Don't laugh, but... at this point, clench your ... ummm.. butt-cheeks, like an excercise! For some reason, it keeps the tears away and brings my mind back to reality and know I need to focus on my practiced speech.

Good luck!!!

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I registered today just to reply to this message... To answer your question -

YES! I have this issue too. It usually goes down for me in two ways - I end up replying in a very confrontational way, which ends up heading far from where I wanted to be (awkward), or, I end up saying nothing, or just agreeing when I really disagree (or the opposite). This plays out in arguments at home, drives my spouse nuts when I can't immediately respond to whatever the topic is..

I feel like I don't have a very good coping strategy for it. If I can prepare my thoughts ahead of time, I'm in very good shape, (kind of like what you did, by writing it all out...)

At work, if I'm put on the spot in a meeting, I generally try to ask for "some time to respond", and I'll usually set a time/date when I'll provide a reply (which I then, of course procrastinate, but that's another issue (or is it)).

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Often I feel like my brain doesn't engage quickly enough, and I think of what I should have said later. Other times it comes rapid fire or impulsively. This can be good with ideas and humor, but not work for everything.

I am having a rocky time in my marriage and am reading a book called Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. I would link to Amazon but it doesn't seem to be supported in this tool. What I am finding is that we men do not know how to communicate emotions very well, and that having differing styles can cause comms to break down completely. Between the Delivered book and this, I have found some incredible answers and directions. I highly recommend it.

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I would recommend that you continue to write journals. Try reading them shortly after you write so you can develop your verbally delivery of the journals. This will help you practice organizing your thoughts while speaking. Continued practice in speaking and writing will improve your ability to communication on the spot. Oh, when you become flustered while speaking, stop speaking, taka deep breath, exhale and this should give additional time to organize your thoughts before you speak again.

I find it difficult to find the time to journal or even a To-Do list. Journaling and taking notes are very good coping skills. I still need to overcome some concentration issues. I also have difficulty expressing my thoughts in an organized way when I am on the spot to answer questions. This also includes the inability to quickly describe a chain of events. Sometimes it helps when, I try to mentally describe the events for myself before I speak again.

I work in an environment that is a nightmare for ADDers. Most of my directives are delivered verbally by management or my supervisor. My job description was changed as least four times during the course of my eight years with the university. I am often overwhelmed in the commission of my daily duties involving responding to everyone on the entire floor. An average of thirty patrons is using the library computers about every half hour someone needs help with the equipment, software, facility or materials.

As one of two technicians assigned to help desk, I perform provide on-call technical support to Levels A, 1, and level 5, making my work shift unstructured and chaotic. I prepare written monthly reports and my only down time is my lunch break. My concern is how to cope in with such a chaotic environment while searching for another job.. I am open Suggestions, please.

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