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22 Jan 2008 @ 2:12 PM
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| keyslammer |
Join Date:
Tue 22nd Jan 2008
Threads: 1 Posts: 1 |
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Boyfriend's ADHD and Me!
Well, when he told me he had ADHD I was blinded by "love" and just knew I could change him or at least help him. This has been the most difficult relationship I have EVER had in my life. It's to the point now of getting to me and causing mental anguish and physical problems for myself. I have to do everything. Actually I think on top of ADHD he's lazy and uses the ADHD as an excuse. There is nothing he likes to do WITH me. He does little to help me with the housework and he finally has held down a job for more than 6 months. I am just at my wits end with this man. I can talk until I'm blue in the face and he says he will make an effort in certain areas and that's the last I hear or see anything about it. I just don't think the relationship is strong enough for me to be under the pressure I am constantly under living with this indecisive, lazy, hyper (yes, a person CAN be both at the same time) irresponsible, domineering, controlling man. He's sloppy and just plain doesn't care. He expects me to to work 12 hours, cook, clean, pay bills and EVERYTHING while he sits in his study on his laptop every hour he is at home and not asleep. He refuses to go to the doctor and get on medication. I don't know it's fair for anyone with ADHD to expect others to live with them like this. It's definitely a mental condition. "Oh...look at the pretty birdy".
Last edited by keyslammer : 30 Jan 2008 @ 1:57 PM.
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15 Mar 2008 @ 7:24 PM
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| she's_crafty |
Join Date:
Sat 15th Mar 2008
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been there... oh wait... AM there...
Oh, sweetie. I hate to say it, but if this guy won't even consider getting treatment for his ADD, it's a huge red flag. It sounds like he doesn't really care how the disease affects your relationship, and is expecting you to take up the slack for all the damage his ADD causes in the relationship. I've been married to an ADDer for 2 1/2 years and even though he's on medication and TRYING to be better at helping around the house, etc., we still have HUGE issues. I can't imagine how hard it would be to try and make things work with someone who isn't even trying from their end. I, too, thought I could "help" and "change" my guy... after a while, I found out that you can "help" till you're blue in the face, but a lot of times even your best efforts dont't do a whole lot, and as far as "changing" the behaviors/personality of someone with ADD... good luck! I hate to sound so harsh, but you deserve someone who puts as much effort into the relationship as you do. If he can't even TRY to do that, you'll probably be happier without him, in the long run.
Last edited by she's_crafty : 16 Mar 2008 @ 3:03 PM.
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