hey, I know I can't really help..but i know how you feel..there was an article on here that had the quote: "The classic story of untreated full-blown ADD is the intelligent person who cannot get her life together, and who becomes increasingly demoralized, anxious, and depressed as the years wear on."

Although I am diagnosed it still describes me very much...I'm in a somewhat similar situation...having time is not the issue right now for me but having unstructured time, where i have a long list of things i need to do but can't seem to get started, stay consistent, and be productive. even when the things on my to do list are extremely important!!!

anxiety and depression come with the territory when we are so exhausted of driving our selves uphill only to find that we haven't moved an inch.

I completely feel your pain!!!

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It sounds that in college you did really well b/c most things you did had a structured time set for when you needed to show up/ do something that involved another person...

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I cannot tell you how much that quote meant to me. I am intelligent, I graduate with a 3.94 GPA and I can't believe that I'm where I am. I have students from 8 years ago graduating from college, getting married, having babies and I'm being invited to these major events because I made such an influence in their lives in JUNIOR HIGH! and I avoid the phone because I don't want to have to tell people I'm unemployed when they ask what I'm doing! Hearing that someone else can relate means so much, (it made me feel less crazy) and your insight about the fact that I seem to excel with structure is so helpful. I'd like to hear more about what your experience has been so maybe I can see something from the other side that may be helpful for you? Good luck Smile and thank you again.

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ugh..where do i even start..oh,i know how about that its 1:30 am and still not asleep! I set my alarm to help me wake up in the morning but I cant get myself out bed and started with my day if i'm not required to actually leave the house for a scheduled activity where someone else is counting on me...I need that structure as well...I'm currently not working but starting to look for a job as well....the thing is I have so many things that are extremely important and haven't made any progress on them....I know i need a coach but I can't afford one either...we seem to be good at helping others but not our selves..maybe we can peer coach or something?

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b/t/w thats really great that you can look back at such a successful time in college and as an effective teacher!!! and yes i can relate to the avoiding ppl b/c I dont feel like answering questions about what i'm doing, etc, etc...I didn't used to be such a private person but as the years go by I come to realize that I can't let everyone "in" b/c they wont understand, will judge me, and make things worse...I am very careful with who i talk to about my ADD related stuff...in some ways this can be a bad thing but i think its still good to be a bit protective ..who knows..perhaps the more I learn about my self and can better manage things..i can be more open with ppl around me...and not take it personally if they dont understand...

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Hi, I really know how tough it is to stick to it. I changed from the stress of writing IEP's in Special Ed to teaching Early Childhood Ed, but after I quit my job as a Kindergarten teacher in 2006, I haven't been able to find a real job except for day care centers, which I hate. See I went full time back to school for my master's in Early childhood Ed. I have a Certificate of Eligibility for teaching Preschool to Grade 3, but the state still hasn't sent my certificate for K-5. They said they may not give it to me so I might have to take more classes, but I don't know yet. In the mean time, I have been substitute teaching, which isnt too fun, but it has given me a lot more confidence in my classroom management and teaching skills. It might be a good idea to try, you can sign up for multiple school districts that way you'll get more phone calls. Looking for a job can be a job in itself. I am constantly updating my portfolio, sending out resumes, and checking the internet (monster.com is great). Every state has different requirements, but some states like Connecticut, Louisiana, and Georgia are really in need of teachers. If you are willing to relocate or commute it might help out. I can't even get someone to hire me so I can get a provisional. There is also a great book called Inside Secrets to Finding a Teaching Job by Jack warner and Clyde Bryan. It gives you resume tips, interview ideas, etc. I love it. Good luck!

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Step back and look at your life. Right now you may think I am absolutely crazy for telling you this, but I think you should cut down on the number of jobs you have. If you absolutely have to have another part time job, try tutoring or maybe be a Teacher's Aide. Maybe there are positions in private schools near you while you continue to get your license. The more experience teaching you have, whatever the location, you are able to show a prospective employer that you do have experience in a variety of situations. Also, when are you fitting in time to look for a job? When are you calling school districts about possible opportunities or sending out your resume? You have too many other responsibilities on your plate besides your child. Slow down a little bit, maybe you can cut down on your weekday hours and give yourself time to relax and find a job with the effort it requires. I hope this helps--I have seen what stress can do to a person with ADHD and it's not pretty.

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Boy can I relate to what everyone has been saying. I struggle too with finding a new job.I cant sleep at night, tell myself I am getting up early to get something accomplished.Then wake up exhausted,check my email ,and lo and behold its a few hours later. What a catch 22. Glad to know I am not the only one to do the same thing.Not that it makes it any better for you or me...but know I feel your pain.

hugs

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I can see myself in all of your posts. I was diagnosed 3years ago I was a Labor and delivery Nurse for 27years a Private Pilot License, a Scuba Instructor and Now ........................ none of these.............. but I am learning .I try every Day to accomplish one task ..Some days I do most days I don't. BUT I learned one thing to laugh at my failures you know when I was trying to be tidy whilst pouring home made soup into freezer bags forgot something totally unrelated in the other room ,took off to take care of it then onto something else ...you know the story came back eventually to the kitchen saw the bags hlf filled with soup rushed to get finished before my hubby came home .............................it all ended up on the floor summomed help from my 3 cats but the cats wouldn't even eat it ..I laughed. I was so frustrated and so wanted to cry but I stepped back and I laughed.....Always try to laugh it wont solve a thing but it will make you feel better ....a least a bit

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I know that working as a substitute doesn't include any benefits except TRS in my state, but at least it pays the bills. The teacher leaves the list for you, so you don't have to plan anything. It depends on your locale, but when I had to work as a substitute, several of my teaching friends requested me as their sub. Perhaps spending enough time there will help kick in whatever motivation you need to truly get back in the groove.

I think it so fantastic that your students are inviting you to their weddings! As for answering their questions of "What are you doing now?" -- #1, mostly it is just small talk, they may or may not even remember your answer. #2, it is the self-esteem issue that makes you think more about it. What would I say in that situation? "I'm taking some time off for myself right now. I'm considering changing fields." Their response would be something like, "Good luck! or "Oh no, you're so good!" and then they'll change the subject. As one of my professors used to tell me, "Quit shoulding on yourself!!" (I should have said; I should have done . . .)

I can so relate to doing well in college! 3.95 GPA I color-coded things, wrote due dates on the calendar a week ahead of the actual due date, etc. Now?? Well, I'm really worried about getting fired because my office is so cluttered. I'm a public librarian and I have several board members with OCD tendecies. I get a lot of things done -- except filing. I may find myself on the substitute list again.

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I graduated in 1984, with a 2.3 GPA. I was not diagnosed back then and struggled with the discipline of doing homework... just like I struggled all through high school... I also failed to get a placement folder and that, together with my GPA did not help my already low sense of self confidence when interviewing for teaching jobs. I subbed at first, then worked in restaurant and daycare jobs. Eventually I took a position in a private school, where I did extremely well as a teacher. Trouble was, private pay was not paying the bills. And deadlines (grades and such) were always giving me stomachaches. I jumped from one private school position to another... kept up with workshops and conferences that I always paid for, myself.

It's a long, painful story, but suffice it to say, that after almost 20 years of private teaching and public school subbing... and earning a Master's in Ed. (3.8 gpa) and a school librarian certificate... but still not being able to sell myself, despite rave reviews on my teaching ability... I finally laid it all to rest in 2006. Tired of beating a dead horse, I took a job with an inventory company. The pay is low, but it's a job. And sometimes we travel a little.

I've always loved to write... so here's me starting yet ANOTHER chapter in my life and on my patchwork resume. The job, itself, has no future... but, maybe I can find a way to get around to actually writing... :-p btw, I was diagnosed 2 years ago and am also medicated for depression and ADD. Since I make so little money, I take the Adderall ONLY when I am working... to stagger it out.

The company, btw, is RGIS... it's national.. in case you are interested.

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I can so identify with how you keep letting things go. I am SUCH a procrastinator! I am also a Kindergarten Teacher -- which I LOVE! I was just diagnosed 2 years ago, and I'm now in my 18th year of teaching. If this is any help, in those 18 years, I have taught all grade levels from Pre-K to 5, been in 6 different buildings and in two different states. I got through Graduate School with a 4.0 AND often held two or more jobs in the process. As a result, I was wound like a top and had my sense of spontaneity & fun surgically removed. So, a couple of years ago I was probably inches away from an improvement plan (I still don't know) because I had a wild class (who hasn't) and there appears to be a philosophy where I work is that a "whisper-tiptpe-pindrop-quiet" classroom is a functioning classroom. (a suburban area) Well, I was used to Global Learners in the Inner City, where I spent most of my career, and the two don't mix. Long story short, I got a recommendation to get assessed for ADD (Inattentive) and now -- my life is totally changed. I still procrastinate, and am still a slob --- but this time I ask for help, am open about my awesome creativity (my FAVORITE thing about us) and my ADD. (here's an aside -- once I told the higher ups about my disorder, all was right with the world -- my "weaknesses" are a result of my disorder not being medicated and I can prove that with data if it came down to it)

My Kindergarteners totally get when I have an ADD moment -- we call it "having my head stuck in the hunny-pot" (I likened my ADD to Winnie the Pooh - what a COOL theory -- but I digress) and I am planning to go through NBCT next year.

SO -- Get Off Y A and make a phone call, go to a job fair, contact career services from college, do SOMETHING! You'll be glad you did!

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The weather is GREAT and we need quality teachers WITH experience -- (let's just say that there are NO NCATE accredited teacher prep programs out here & it shows).

E-mail me or send a message and I'll send you some links if this sounds good to you. : - )

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Ditto. Thank you for being brave enough to write about this - it has really helped me to know that I am not alone! I worked for 25+ years in the corporate world mainly as a computer consultant. I learned alot about my companies methods and practices but never had enough time to update my skills. So when I was laid off in August 2005, I was at first so relieved - Now I would have the time to get my whole life organized and find my perfect non-corporate career! Today, I am unemployed (I had a few jobs during the past 2 years - the latest as an Office Manager - the worst!!) and have been since April 2007. It's 10 am and I am still in my pajamas,watching "Hairspraye" to try and boost me up. I have yet to actually apply for a job although I've researched for thousands of hours about what I could/should do. I am a divorced mom of 10 year twin girls, both gifted and one with ADHD (as diagnosed by me). My to do list of important things to do is hugh and yet I can't get started on much either. I can't decide what to do first because if I pick one thing, then something else will fall throught the cracks and etc., so I get paralyzed. Aaah. I am on meds (for depression, anxiety, periomenopause as well as ADD) and I'm in therapy and I just started working with a coach. And here I sit, one more morning that I swore to myself that I'd get up and get dressed and go to the library to get out of the house. I'm sorry to ramble on but if I tried to write this any other way, it never would have gotten written! What I AM trying to do is to stop beating up on myself so much and remember all the things I DO get done everyday and laugh at myself when I lose the kitchen garbage can (I think I took it with me to the garage when I was on the phone the other day but I haven't checked yet...). We are going to be ok - noone tries harder than we do!

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First I'd like to say Hello! This is my first day/posting on this site.

I know exactly what you all mean! I went back to school later in life (32) and graduated from college with an accounting diploma (YES, ACCOUNTING LOL) which is how I discovered I have ADD. I worked for about 3 yrs, got laid off, gave up on the jobsearch and I am now starting my own business. I am scared that I bit off more then I can chew. Here I sit in front of my computer surfing around the net when I should be working on my business plan. I know once I secure a business loan there will be no stopping me but cyberspace sucks me in and I am lost. Hours go by and I accomplish nothing.

I will look at the clock and 8 hrs have gone by and I haven't had anything to eat or drink. Hell, I haven't even gone to the bathroom. The whole time I'm sitting here the dread is nibbling at the back of my mind telling me I should be getting to work on my business, but I can't seem to control myself. If I had a deadline then I probably would get this done. I did GREAT in school! I try to set my own but that is useless!

Am I completely nuts?? Have I lost all self control?? Or am I just plain lazy (i have sooooo neglected housework)??

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Hi- this is my first time on here. Just was diagnosed with ADD last April....Almost 1 year!. Anyway, I'm heading into my 54th year on this planet and have just made the decision (maybe?!) to go back to school for my masters. (Talk about starting-over late in life!!) - I haven't taught school in 25 years, but now that I'm working a part-time/flexible schedule, I can see how much I need a real 9-5 job I can sink-my-teeth-into! (Or into which I can sink my teeth?) Anyway, I was an Art Teacher, not an English teacher, so I suppose a mistake or 2 is OK. : >

Since my diagnosis, I've learned alot about my abilities AND the special challenges I face. I'm actually learning to be more accepting of myself after all these years, and It feels really good.

We'll chat more later, but I'd better get some sleep now. *God bless you all for all of your hard work, good humor, creativity, and understanding.

Thanks! C

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Hi everyone. I don't have the internet so I just got the chance to read all of the postings. WOW! I can't even begin to explain to you all how much the comradity helps with the "Quit shoulding yourselfs ...." (Hamster:)) And Nadinemh - I sooooo needed the GET OFF Y A. -thank you. I have sent in my recertification application. I finally cleaned my house. Making small headway. Catmutt - you should be pretty impressed with yourself going from a 2.3GPA to a 3.8GPA! That's so great! And Nadinemh I am so impressed with your bravery, and telling the higher ups about your ADD, I still don't know how I will deal with that piece during interviews or after being hired? :) Puppymom - deadlines are SO USELESS for me too! I try to set goals ... mini-goals even to get to the goal ... and because it's only for me and no one else is depending on me I CAN NEVER SEEM TO STICK TO THEM!!! Does anyone have any suggestions for us? ritabrown & cindyluwho - hang in there! you can do it. I forgot to write who gave me the advice on my "cheat sheet" but the advise on how to deal with my former students' questions is excellent. And the hunny-pot thing is so great! HEY NEW QUESTION ... I tried stratera - didn't work - now I'm on adderall and zoloft and I just feel like it should be helping me more than just giving me the ability to bite my tongue before interupting a conversation, and the ability to remember to remember. Has anyone else had experience with aderall and then something else? Okay if I don't end my posting here my sister is going to unplug her computer. Thanks again to everyone and Nadinemh I'll send you a message. AZ is quite a way from ME but ... :)

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Reading your letter was like looking in the mirror. I too am a stay at home mother/unemployed teacher. I need to do a few small things to get my certificate in the state I moved to and am stalling. I like being home with my kids and am selling coffee part time but why slack when it comes to the paper work. I better go clean now. I just wanted to say that I feel like you a lot and I'm really going to think about some of your responses. Thanks for posting. I think it helped me a a lot.

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I don't know if I'm happy or distressed to have found this thread. I'm 51 and decided to teach after seeing the awe in my daughter's face when she saw or figured out new things. During a year of long-term subbing, she asked if she was going to schedule a conference to have time with me. (She was only 8!) After that, I only worked as teacher's aides until she started high school. I taught for 1 1/2 years in an inner-city school that was always graded a "D". When I decided to change, I taught a year then was told they wouldn't need 7 3rd grade teachers next year--a lie; they had 8 classes next year. Last year, after teaching the reputed "toughest" 4th grade class on record, my principal put me on continuous contract. She should have sensed trouble when I was so surprised. Well, I've finally been caught--at least by someone who wants to help, as opposed to passing me on to some other unsuspecting principal. 2 weeks ago, she put me on an improvement plan, which specified all the problems caused by my ADD. Management-- Behavior? Paper? Time? Planning--Lessons? Where to put things for quick access? (Hah! Where in one of my 3 organization systems is what I am looking for? Oh, there it is--here comes a student with it; I must have left it on his desk. Kinda awkward when I'm giving a spelling test and I leave my TE--open to the word list--on a student's desk. Bless their hearts! They never look--just calmly bring it to me. Guess they're used to my losing and forgetting things.) None of these are my strong suit--except for that part about leaving my Teacher Editions where I can't find them--something I'm very good at. LOL. I've dropped enough words since getting my improvement plan 2 weeks ago that anyone in my field should figure out my "condition", but I don't want to actually say it. I let my teammates know at my other school through some stupid, impulsively written poem done at a workshop, and things were never the same. Hard to say whether it was that common knowledge or my ineptitude that got me the boot. I think the teacher who said everything was better once she admitted was an exception to the rule. My principal asked why I'm the 1st to arrive and last to leave. She gave me advice addressing causes that I thought only I knew. I am scared. It took me all day today to type the report of a plan-required meeting that happened 4 days ago. And if you think this is long... I am literally losing my hair. In addition to the emotional beat-down of possibly being let go ONE MORE TIME (it used to happen before I got into education too), it will cause financial problems with my daughter in college. I love the teaching part; it's all the other stuff I struggle with; and I have NO IDEA what else I could do. This is really LONG, isn't it.

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Already on IP - don't worry about the length of your entry. I'm actually not at home right now so I don't have the author but I bought a book a while back that has helped me with so many of my orginization wooooooes. It's actually called organization for people with ADHD/ADD. It's not super thick, each subject area is quick, to the point and easy to understand. The cover is white and if I remember correctly there is a picture of a yellow sticky note on the front. It gives pointers for the work place, home, the car ... you name it. As far as your current situation, even though it can be difficult (and it's always easier to preach than to do ... :) ) but try to remember why you got into teaching. And focus on your strengths. I had ALL of the same difficulties as you. (I'd have to read 110 essays at a time from my 7th and 8th graders - ouch! I found that by making rubrics and making a template of what EVERYTHING counted for (title - 2pt., author - 2 pt., ....... main idea - 10pt., 3 examples - 15pts. (5 each) ...) I used my high energy and creativity to overshadow my forgetfulness, massive clutter and other uncharacteristic teacher traits. Maybe request a mentor - someone YOU can trust to help save ALL of your certificates from workshops with your contact hours any letters you receive from your principals in regards to your current situation etc.. As long as you show progress on each objective. Personally try to look at every achievement - no matter how small they may seem to a non-ADDer - (like making it to the morning meeting every other week) as a step in the right direction. YOU CAN DO THIS. I will do my best to remember the author of that book. It's definately worth it. Look at posting this entry as one of your many positive steps in the right direction.

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So of course I became obsessed with findind it and I googled and believe it or not - I must have initially found it here at ADDitude - ok so here it is: ORGANIZING SOLUTIONS FOR PEOPLE WITH ADD: TIPS AND TOOLS TO HELP YOU TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE AND GET ORGANIZED. by Susan C. Pinsky. It really is worth the $13.ish dollars. I've gone back to it on a number of occassions. GOOD LUCK.

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Despairingly hopeful--Thanks for your words of encouragement. After my principal observed my math lesson, she called me in after school to tell me my lesson had been "flawless". All I could think about was that I'd started with the overhead but had forgotten that the bulb had blown a day before, and that as I taught, I saw some distracted students. She said she wouldn't have known about the overhead if I hadn't just told her and complimented my on my rapid going to Plan B. :0) Just as you told me, she said what she's seen is improvement and that was what she'd been looking for. The next week, in our faculty meeting, she announced that our staffing budget had been cut and we would be losing 10 teachers. Yikes! But then she said that if your position was affected, she would have already talked to you prior to the meeting. Well, she hadn't talked to me! Our whiz kid 25 yr old team leader is moving to 3rd grade; so there will only be 2 of us next year. I've been trying to implement some tricks, like using a timer for each reading group (I assigned a student to be my time-keeper; of course she was delighted and every one wanted that new job). I'm asking myself as I do each thing, if it is related to what I'm supposed to be doing and, if not, try to get back on track. Of course, sometimes I go ahead and stay with my off-track activity anyway.

I'm still the first to arrive and the last to leave--even when I leave as early as 5:00, when I usually stay till 6:00 or later. I've begun to get mad about that and feeling like I can't do it this way for another year. How was that sort of issue when you taught middle school? Hubby and daughter are pushing for this change because they think having only 1-2 subjects and no responsibility for making sure they're in a quiet, straight line, I change my bulletin boards often, display student work, etc. will make my life easier. They miss me!

What do you think?

Relieved (but frustrated) in Orlando

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