And find a doctor who will keep trying. Find a different doctor just for second opinions. And don't forget about yourself. YOU need to take care of yourself first. The stewardess on the plane always reminds us to put the breathing mask over our own heads first for a reason. You can't help someone else if you're out of it.

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We have really been through it lately. I am tring to focus on other things like swiming lessions and working out we have rojoined the health club. That will be good for all of us. Thank you so much for caring enough to respond.

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hi crazkat i feel ya pain babe im in the same boat have my dear son 11 and dear daughter 4 and dear daughter 2 and am pregnant with number 4 my son is ADHD,i think ODD, has learning difficulties ,depression and food intolerances and over the holidays im exhausted he's been terrible and both dd's are copying there big vro so im not sure if its ADHD or learnt behaviour either with them my fieance is also ADD and has servier deppression i found that the kids tae bo helped my son or he would do a tae bo workout with me lol helped him but doesnt want to do it now well i just wanted to say hi and your not alone on this one be strong we can do it!!!

natty:)

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Once you realize you have no power to help him .... well ther it is . You have to find places in his life were you can influence him . Give him free days off school . You can manage your mental health with days off , give him the same privlage . Dont look at him as the problem look at the problem as the problem . Declare War on his problems with him ! Don' t allow him to feel alone with his problem .

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Well we are taking a break from public school (home tutor) for a couple of months while the school hires someone to be one on one with my son. I'm looking forward to the time together trying to think of things to keep him busy while not doing school work. Not sure how to keep things feeling equal between my daughter who will still be at school during the day. I will try to set aside special night times with her. Thank you all so much it is so nice to be able to have support like this.

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Have you checked your area for a support group? They are actually very helpful. In addition to learning more about the different disorders and ways to treat/cope, you also get to network and meet other parents going through the same things you are. It really is a wonderful resource. I have 3 kids, my daughter is 13 and has ADHD and anxiety and ODD which we are now reevaluating to see if it might be bipolar as it runs in the family. And then I have two boys ages 5 and 7, and there are many days I worry that the 5 year old has it as well. My daughter was diagnosed when she was 7 and it was and still is a very hard road. I just feel at this point I've learned a lot and want to help others, even though I am continually learning and far from perfect with her. Until last summer I was an active part of a support group and it was really helpful. But this last summer we moved to another state and I haven't made the time to find or start a group here, even though I know it would be beneficial. If you need help finding something I would be happy to help. I hope things work with his schooling. I know they need really structured environments to make the most of their learning and education. But at the same time, they need people to understand that sometimes they will make mistakes and will need help with redirection. Good luck and enjoy your time with him. They grow so fast and before you know it they won't even want you around.

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Talk to your daughter about ADD. I am sure the most she knows about, the most she will be able to help to avoid conflicts. It is important to have help with your child. Take time out for yourself and let someone else help him with the organization. I know the entire family can do a contribution of time and support with his homework, reminders and organization. Put all the love in the first place (I know it's easier to say), then try to find the funny side of the problems. Some days are specially difficult (I am having a hard one today) but this site is a real terapy. Hope you feel better.

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Not sure this will help...I have an adult son with ADD and I sure didn't get ADD when he was younger- it still was a mystery and best "fixed" with meds. Now that I understand more about it, if I had to do this all over again, I'd have gotten him a coach (if I could have found one). No kid really listens to their parents, but it sure seems worse with ADD kids, so maybe someone trained to help ADDers can help. Keep trying- find different doctors, find a coach. Keep going. It's really hard sometimes, but it's what we have to do as ADD parents. Also, remember that we keep learning more and more about ADD and its accompanying issues (ODD, etc.). Keep learning all you can- I've found that has helped me the most.

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I have a son who is like so many of yours also , I feel alone, my husband blows up at me and we all end up in a fight . Don't know what to do, spend most of my free time crying and trying to do the right thing. I am afraid of having him taken away from us. He swears terrible and hurts me constantly and the same as some of you i feel like if i don't take care of it now, it will only get worse. HELP

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krazcat and robin help,

It can be so frustrating when you don't know what to do and sometimes you don't know what's wrong. I can certainly relate to that. For 23 years my husband had issues that I didn't completely understand and several psychiatrists and therapists only diagnosed him as depressed. Then we met a doctor who was able to pinpoint exactly what was wrong (ADHD was part of it, but was minor in comparison to the other disorder he had). My son wasn't diagnosed with his ADHD until he was 10 and that was thanks to a dear friend of mine who recognized it (he has the inattentive type) and my daughter shortly after he was. Although she was 20 yrs. old at that point. She had a lot of other medical problems as well--asthma, thyroid problems, supposedly Epstein Barr virus, depression, anxiety, etc. Still, she wasn't doing all that well. She finally went to see the same doctor my husband had seen and we were surprised to learn she had some misdiagnoses, and she's finally doing better.

Our doctor is worth more than his weight in gold as he has helped us understand so much of what was going on. The point I'm trying to make is to keep looking if you think something else is wrong. Get another opinion, learn all you can. My nephew was originally diagnosed with ADHD and ODD but he was violent at home and the doctors couldn't figure it out. It took some time but they finally considered the possibility that he had child onset bipolar disorder. Not many doctors are knowledgeable about this disorder esp. since the symptoms differ from adult bipolar disorder. And 90% of those who have child onset bipolar disorder also have ADHD and ODD.

I have another friend who went through something similar with her son. Psychiatrists couldn't find a medication that worked for his ADHD. I suggested she try our doctor and he was diagnosed with the child onset bipolar disorder. I'm not saying that is the problem with your child, but you need to keep looking, trying other doctors, etc. Be proactive. There are some things I know more about than a great many doctors because I've researched it, read about it and experienced it with my family and others.

Two books that I would suggest that may be of some help. "The Bipolar Child" by Demitri Papolos and Janice Papolos (you can check your library and try to get the third edition unless there is a newer one.) and "Biological Unhappiness" by Dr. Leland Heller. You can get the second book at the doctor's website www.biologicalunhappiness.com This is the doctor who has helped us so much. This book will give you a good picture of many possible disorders that may click with you, and then you can investigate even further regarding that particular illness/psychological condition. I found it to be extremely enlightening and so have others who have read the book.

Don't give up. The answer is out there somewhere.

Elaine

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It does get better for most, but in some cases it doesnt and that is where we all come in together. I too am at my wits end. My son has severe peer issues, has begged me not to send him back to school, just find a school where he can make friends or have friends. He fights with us at home, and is bullied and teased at school. Yet the schools now are so damned politically correct that nothing gets done it is all just "talked" about. After constant bullying and teasing I had it and finally told the school that if it happens again I will call the sheriff and have them come arrest the kids the next day at the school in front of everyone. Bullying is against the law! My husband has even finally admitted we need help professionally but constantly berates me calling me a bad mother, irresponsible and unfit. Which is not true in the least because he could never deal with what I deal with on a daily basis. My own mother says its' miracle I havent had a nervous or mental breakdown. My friends want me all to take the kids and leave.. mind you my friends all live in different states too. My own inlaws have gotten into it with me and I have had to throw them out of the house recently. I am now to the point that after TRYING to reach out to places out where I live that there is no place close, that doesnt cost the earth (military incomes are not that big) and that would provide a class for the kids as well as us so that we can all learn together. I only wish that the school would hire someone to help my son one on one at home, but they dont have the resources according to them. He has an IEP, he is required to have a para with him in almost all his classes, his teachers are bending over backwards with the exception of one (health/pe) to help him yet he is still only pulling Low B's down to F's. This last progress report he had 2C-, one D, one D- and three F's. I was just in shock, called a meeting and was informed that they dont have enough paras to go around for ONE on ONE with all their special need kids and that there are kids that need them more than my son so they go to them first. I was like WHAT the hell is wrong with this district!. I have the paperwork to file a state complaint, I have the information I need yet what good is it going to do when he's going to 9th grade next year at a totally different school. I really am stretched mentally and emotionally this year already. I take 5 classes right now at WSU, I am three weeks behind in one.. spanish and am having extensive elbow surgery in the next month or two to repair damages. Devan doesnt want to play sports because of the other kids and he isnt as good as they are as he's been told. He wants to sit and play with legos, his computer games and the Wii, read books and argue with everyone. I dont know what to do anymore about anything except take one minute, one hour and one day at a time and just try to make it through whatever comes our way. We are not religious so there is no church to go to, our insurance only covers certain people in the area and help is anywhere from 1/2 hour to two hours away and at the price of gas now a days it's impossible financially for us. Imagine four kids and a house that needs serious repairs, 300 dollars in gas for two cars a month, 500 in bills every two weeks and groceries and other expenses take up the other 2 grand a month. Four boys eat a LOT of food. I've tried to go more organic and nutritious which is just more expensive but I feel that they need to eat better and I hope it just helps them improve also in the areas they need it most. Kudos though for getting into a health club that may help work out any additional stress and behaviors. Just know that we are all here for you and if you have any questions or just need to vent or chat send me a message and I'll answer asap :)

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