Yes Yes Yes! My 11 yr old also gets obsesed and will not even get up to use the bathroom. We are very careful about the games he gets to play, any kind of violence really seems to set him off. We keep a close I on him and when we see him start to get to upset we tell him if he cannot calm himself he will have to quit playing .This is never an easy thing if he does calm himself we make sure to let him know we noticed and are very proud of him. Does your son kind of take on the personality of the game?

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Hi Taurus, My son also gets really involved in the games, I can't get his attention even for dinner. I just read in "Healing ADD" by Daniel Amen that there is something with the way videos work that interupts brain waves and cycles. I don't remember all of the details, but it did make sence. He advocates not having them at all, but with a tween son, you and I know how impossible that is! He also said that limiting it to 30 minutes per day is helpful. We also did a point system where our son had to earn the right to play. He would sometimes choose shooting hoops because he didn't want to spend his points. Good luck! Suz

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My 8 year old son also gets so involved that we can't break his concentration. Typically we do not let him play games during the school week at all. Just on weekends. That helps quite a bit. But we just keep using the countdown method of how many minutes he has until it gets turned off. That seems to help, but he still gets angry when it's time.

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I too used to hate that my son liked video games so much (he's 8 now). He would actually get upset or cry if he lost or couldn't get to the next level. But, it tought him not to give up. He is very determined to play and get to the next level of these games. We don't give him any games rated above an "E" for everyone. I actually discovered that they need these games for stimulation and it helps them to "relax" for lack of a better word. Now I accept that he needs the games for his "down" time and he actually regulates himself. He'll play for awhile, come spend time with the family, etc. However, I have a nephew who will play until 1 or 2 a.m. and he doesn't like to leave the house. So, I guess it all depends on the child. Work with what you have, but know that they do need it to wind down, believe it or not. I guess with those children like my nephew, you will need to put a time limit on them. I find also, that talking about the games with my son helps him to feel connected to us in yet another way--I used to ask him to stop talking about games, but when I stopped that, he talked to us more about a lot of different things, not just the games. He also can now play board games without getting too upset if he is losing.

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I have two boys with ADD/ADHD, We limit their video game use to only weekends, and we also limit the type of games that can be played on them to only "E" rated games, with no violence in them, which does tend to out the disrespectful behavior.

Has anyone ever had any diffulties with ADD/ADHD kids and DVD viewing?.

We have begun to limit the number of times our boys are allowed watch the same movie over and over to no more than 2 times. And only watch TV or a movie on the weekends because our older son (11) seems to have alot of trouble "turning the movie off in his thoughts" after seeing something so visually stimulating. He carries this over to school and even though he is on meds, on days after a movie, has alot of trouble paying attention in class.

Mom D

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WOW! I have suspected extended video game playing as the culprit for a long time! My 10 year old son loves playing video games more than taking part in real world activities! I have found his Nintendo DS in bed with him in the mornings, so I know that he has played all night as he is impossible to wake in the morning for school. His behaviours are noticeably worse after a video game session and all he ever talks about are the characters. The new rule in the house is no video game playing during the week & only on the weekends (limited time) if he has been respectful & cooperative in school and at home. We are a much happier household..yes, even my son. : )

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My son is 15 years old. I don't have a problem with any change in his additude so I can't speak on that. He is very attached to his games though. He unsuccessful at most things, he is extremely awkward in sports and doesn't really fit in socially. Video games though are something that he is good at. I am not saying that he has any special talent but he is so proud of himself when he beats a certain game, there is no way I would ever take that feeling of accomplishment and success away from him. It is also a universal "thing" among kids. Something that they have in common and I think that it helps to level the playing field, especially for the socially awkward like my son.

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My son is 101/2yrs old. We too see a big attitude change when he is on the video games. I don't like it, but he also feels pride and accomplishement when playing. The holiday's have left us being a little (lot) lax on the rules, which has caused WWIII in our house. I believe the attitude is from him being in what he calls "the zone". He wants no interuptions while he is playing. I guess what conclusion I have come to is if we want him to be respectful to us we have to be respectful to him. We limit his gaming to 1hr (30min increments), as long as chorse and homework are done. If he does this than we need not interupt him during his "free" time. I believe this is only fair. If he plays over his time, then that amout is taken away from the next. I have found that if we make a list of what is expected of him (chores, homework, tv time, gaming time, etc) and the consequences then there is less arguing. He hates being told what to do, this takes that out of the equation because he knows what to do. It helps with arguing and anger

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I have a 12 year old daughter with ADHD. All she wants to do right now is computer and video games. She would stay up all night to play . Our rule was that she couldn't do computer or video games until her homework was done. But then she started lying and hiding her homework. She really is addicted to it. She will give up sports or playing with a friend (unless they are on the computer) for it. We have tried to limit her time on them, but it doesn't work.. She cannot get off, once she starts and its always a battle. We had to ban the computer and games from her during the school week, because she wouldn't get off. Sometimes, as a reward we would give in and let her play for a set time, but it always went back to the same battle of trying to get her off. Now we have realized that we cannot let her play at all during the school week and she is really making it miserable. It is especially hard too, because for some of her homework she needs the computer. Any ideas.

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Part of my problem in dealing with my son is that I believe that I also have ADD. It has taken me years to figure out that it has been hard for me to always follow through to get the results that I was looking for with him because I also have the problem. I have been debating about going to see a dr. and find out once and for all but thanks to my ADD I haven't made an appointment yet:) My point really is that sometimes we say things don't work but they actually don't work because we are not consistent enough over the long haul to see the results. I believe that just about any habit can be broken with the right support and reinforcement. It's just a lot of work and the ability to keep yourself focused.

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My son is now 22 years old and has been diagnosed since he was 12 years old with both ADHD and ODD. He would have been diagnosed earlier except for the fact that here in the Uk the Disorder was not well known and little was known about it until 12 years ago. However with regards the vidoe games my son plays them all day and all night until he goes to sleep usually around 7am after all night playing. as the games are now internet linked such as X Box 360 and Play station 3 he will probably be playing anyone in the world in any type of time zone . This means he doesnt sleep and it maybe that he is playing against american gamers who are 6 to 8 hours behind us so for them it is a suitable early evening game but my son is through the night and early morning. It really is such a great problem and not helped by the internet links these new game systems have . i rarely get a good nights sleep and yes his ODD getes unbearable as he plays the games. His body clock has gone to pieces and he is now unable to get up during the morning and has lost any hope of getting back into employment since he became redundant 18 months ago. I have no help from our doctor and my wife left me and my 2 kids 3 years ago as she couldnt cope with my sons ADHD and ODD. I have no idea how this game system centre ofa home will ever get back to a more sensible way . His game system is his life .

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My husband & I have established what we call "Non-negotiables". That means that there will be no discussion if they do something or try to get away with something & I simply say "Non-negotiable!" I don't cave. I don't discuss it. This has worked well for videogames b/c we have the rules in place. It's the only way we were able to keep their playing time under control. My singleton daughter (almost 12) & twin boys (almost 8) are all ADD, just like me, so we came up with rules for gaming use. On weekdays, no gameboys or wii before homework is finished. All electronics must be turned off by the time I call them to supper or else I turn them off, which means they can't save their game & lose their place. That motivates to start saving when I give them the 5 minute warning. I also try to give a 30 & 15 minute warning, so there is no surprise & ut cuts down on the backtalk. Also, all gameboys are plugged in to recharge at the breakfast bar, so after the kids go to bed & I'm straightening things up in the kitchen, I have a clear visual of all the gameboys. If one is missing, I turn into a bloodhound, tracking it down. Since all gameboys must be plugged in every school night downstairs, there can be no excuses. The penalty for taking a gameboy upstairs on a school night is the loss of the gameboy for the next whole day. If it happens twice in a week, then they lose it for the next upcoming weekend. This has only happened once. I think the key is to stick to your guns! If a rule is violated even by one minute, don't make excuses. Turn it off. Don't allow them to make you feel badly about them losing their place by having it turned off b/c they didn't save when you told them to. That was their choice! NOT yours! It was hard at first, but now the kids remind each other not to forget to plug in their gameboys. As a reward for following the rules, they get priviledges. On weekends, we let them take their gameboys to bed to play until they fall asleep or until 10 p.m. comes. We also praise them for following the rules & have special desserts like ice cream on one weekend night. They're used to having fruit or smoothies or italian ice for dessert, so ice cream is special. Hope this helps!

Kimberli, whose twins' opthamologist reccommended I increase small screen time to help mature some developmental delays Parker & Spencer have due to being born 2 1/2 months early from Twin-to-Twin-Transfusion Syndrome. Of course the doctor who looked like he was about 25 said this in front of my twins. I said I'd consider it & he had research to support it. To that, I got the double eye roll simultaneously from the boys. Oh well. When in doubt, there's always a Bunko group somewhere close by needing a sub for the night to regroup with other mommies. :)

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Our general rule is that there is no DS during the school week at ALL. We also have an X Box that he NEVER plays by himself; that is for "special time" for my son and husband to share. My 10 1/2 year old son was becoming quite obsessed with a new DS game over the winter break. We told him that he could play for one hour a day total over the break ONLY. It was up to him as to how to divide up the time...he could play 4 times during the day for 15 minutes, twice a day for 30 minutes, etc. We made him accountable by giving him the egg timer and telling him that he had to set the timer and stop playing when it went off. This worked very well; most times he would actually stop playing before the the alloted time ran out. The one time he did not play by the rules (he turned off the timer and kept playing) he lost his privilege for the rest of the day and the following day. This was a great way for us to manage an activity that he tends to become obsessed with (he has a Tourette's variant in addition to ADHD).

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Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you all, but I wanted to thank you for providing me with lived experiences that support my decision to NOT have ANY video games (XBOX, PS2, Wii, Gameboy, etc.) in my house! I'm a college professor and have seen the results (in terms of short attention spans, lack of creativity, ability to critically think) of this obsession (despite ADD/ADHD-type diagnoses). Ironically, my own mother thinks I'm depriving my son, because he doesn't have the games all of his peers do! Thanks for providing me with the ammunition that comfirms I'm making the right decision for my son.

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EErEdwards, It sounds like you really have your hands full. As long as your son is still under your roof there is still hope. You'll probably need a good therapist though and if that is not possible maybe you could find some books that might be helpful on this site.

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Rocket, your daughter must be a cyber friend of my son. I couldn't have described our video/computer games issues any better. When we limit video games to the weekend only, he refuses to do anything else for the entire weekend. When he tries to make a deal during the weekdays and promises to do his homework, that works for a couple of days then he starts saying "I don't have any homework." During those deal making days I remind him that this didn't work before, but I trust that he will do better this time. I always want to give him a chance to prove himself, but I end up kicking myself. Its a vicious cycle. He does get addicted or obsessed and sometimes can't move away from the screen. I know this is not normal because I have another son who self-monitors and gets off the computer when its time to get off. All of this affects social and academic successes. So, none of my strategies have been successful.

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We have a teenage daughter and a younger son with ADHD. We have experienced all of the various effects of videos that others have described. The newest issue we are struggling with is our daughter's non-stop text messaging. It got so bad that we have had to put limits on when she can text message (we check with the carrier website to see when she is sending messages and we take her phone away at night). Our son hasn't gotten there yet but has similar issues with video games, especially his older xbox. We have found that the following works for him and actually is helping him learn to regulate his time: He can earn up to 30 minutes during the week of an "electronic" - TV, DS, xbox, Wii, whatever you have and he gets to choose - by earning a star for each of several tasks (for him, he has to have all homework done, read by himself for the required time, shower by himself and get ready for bed). If he gets all of those done no later than one hour before we start getting ready for bed, he can play for 30 minutes. He earns the right to TRY for an electronic the following night by turning it off when we tell him the time is up (we give him a 5-minute warning). We track the stars on a calendar posted where we all can see it. If he earns enough stars throughout the week, he earns something special - a trip to the park, ice cream, etc. It sounds complicated but it actually is pretty easy to implement. If he doesn't have everything ready in time, he doesn't get to play. We set a time deadline because we have found that he needs to be off for at least 30 minutes before he lays down to go to bed. We have tried taking it away completely, but he enjoys it so much that we decided he could earn small increments of time. We also have found that the Wii is much better because it gets the kids up and moving, unlike the older video systems.

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Our ADD son is 19, and I believe that his fondness for video games contributed to his difficulties in college. We battled with him all through jr/sr high school but did not take a firm enough stand. If your child is under age 12, think seriously about ridding your house of video/computer games altogether. Many of you mentioned that you only allow E rated games, which we also did when our boys were young. However, they soon experience more stimulating games outside your home and become dissatisfied with milder stuff. Work hard to find activities and hobbies that your child will enjoy, and play together as a family. Model an active lifestyle for your children--ours saw Dad watching endless hours of TV sports and Mom with her nose always stuck in a book (the ADD one failed to notice how hard we worked the rest of the time). If you can't eliminate video games altogether, check into a timer device that will shut off the computer after the allotted time, and a large visual device such as a Time Timer.

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One thing that helps us with our son, if he wants to play video games is a mini trampoline after the game. A teacher recommended that he have a small one to work out his frustrations just in general. It was working so well that we told him if he wants to be able to play he would have to exercise right after. He really loves it and uses it on his own now when he can't calm himself.

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EErEdwards really spoke to me. I'd like to warn everyone with younger children to be wary of video games, especially the internet linked games, as EErEdwards son and mine play. My son is 17, quite bright, and is in high school, barely passing. He has been diagnosed with ADHD since 1st grade and I am only just now beginning to realize what that means in his life, his behavior, and his maturity (or lack of it). We even sent our son to a wilderness program to try and break the chain of video gaming and his increasingly violent behavior. Once he was away, with drug and alcohol addicted kids, he admitted he was addicted to video games (he doesn't use drugs or alcohol). Now that he has been home for a year, he denies there is any problem. The separation helped a good deal, and all systems were removed from the house, except, of course, the computer. He can run circles around me with the computer and quickly gained access despite any blocks I tried to establish. My son is incredibly creative and artistic, but I foresee a dismal future for him if gaming remains to be a huge part of his life. The reason I caution the parents of younger kids is that you must address this issue now, while they are young. Once the kids get older, you can not "make" them do anything they do not want to. They will not study just because you say they must. They will not stop playing just because you say they must. My son now has an after-school job and spends very little time doing school work, but I am trying to prepare him for moving out of our home in the near future. I wish we had never brought the game systems into our home, but we did. His older brothers did not have a problem with addiction, but they did not have ADHD. My son becomes hyper-focused and can not even hear me speak to him. He gets very upset very easily, screaming obscenities at the computer, frightening me and the dogs! Get the game systems out of your houses, make the computer accessible only by YOU signing the kids on, and realize that there is a monthly cost for the interactive games. Stop paying the monthly fees. Addiction is very real. The dopamine levels in their brains increase after only 20 minutes and it is as if they are on drugs. MY son and EErEdward's sons may be lost, but yours do not have to be. Life can go on even if the kids do not have video games. Be mean and take away the games. You will be helping them int he long run. One helpful book is Playstation Nation. Therapy did not help at all. Sorry for the decidedly depressing post!

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Weetzie, you can have the cell phone company remove the texting capability from your daughter's phone. The phone works fine, they just cannot text or send photos. Big deal! It helped us alot. I would really like to know if there is a contraption which will turn off the computer at a certain time. Does anyone know?

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My 14 and 15yr old sons are add/adhd, we have video games and computer games. They have always been limited. My husband is deployed and it is getting harder and harder to get my boys to get off in the set time frames. It is almost impossible to get them to get off and becomes a huge fight most of the time. I have stopped arguing with them and have started flipping my power breaker some days just to get them off. It may not be the best thing to do but honestly, I am at a loss. I have taken it away for weeks and they have earned it back but then when they earn it back we just take it away again. I am just glad to know I am not alone.

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Gretchen - thanks for the response. I've told my daughter that if she cannot get the texting under control, she will loose the privilege entirely because I will take it off. Although she has ADHD, she is better able to regulate herself than my son so I believe she will cut it back. In fact, she told me last night when I made her stop texting (and told her I would check on line to confirm) that she really enjoyed talking to her friends instead! We'll see...As for the computer, you can set controls on it. If you are the administrator for the computer, you can set up other users and it cut off their access to the internet when you want. I'm not sure about turning it off completely but you can even set limits as to when they can use the computer. Good luck.

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I thought I was going crazy with thinking that I was wrong in seeing the things my son does after playing video games. As of this weekend, my husband and I have instituted some of the ideas all of you wrote about. We haven't talked about during the weekdays yet except that he is not allowed to play games in the morning before school. I have let the babysitter in on this one as well. He has 4 things that need t o be accomplished before he can play video games for 1 hour on each of the weekend days. His room needs to be clean, the playroom needs to be clean, his homework needs to be done, and his chores need to be completed. We figured that we have the control of hour long he plays, but he has the control as to if he plays. His attitude and behavior also come into play with his being allowed to play and he was completely off the wall with defiance yesterday that he has lost games for the weekend. He says he doesn't care, but I know that losing them affects him as well. Thanks for the input on not giving him the games at all. The month, month 1/2 that he didn't play them due to sneaking them into his room at after my husband and I went to bed and playing all night, the defiance outbreaks were alot less. He has been allowed to play video games once for 1 hour, and the defiance has increased two-fold. My husband keeps talking about taking away all the video games in the house (playstation2, gamecube, our DS and the kids' gameboys), but we can't see punishing our 8 year old daughter who doesn't play them as much and doesn't have ADHD. The games systems are technically mine and he doesn't ask to play them unless he has friends over, which is very rare anyway. Please help with this one.

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My son got at DS at Christmas and hasn't been able to get to sleep at night for hours since then...He was has really been complaining about being tired and not being able to think and not being able to do math, which is his strength. At first we thought it was because he was very sick for a week at Christmas, or possibly the meds he was taking for cough.

He is not playing all night, because the DS is upstairs at night. I just figured out that just playing the game in the evening provides so much stimulation that he can't stop thinking about it, and can't sleep. He usually plays 30-60 minutes before school (which gets him out of bed and dressed without a struggle) and another hour in the evening after homework.

Also we have to limit him to E or E10 games except Age of Empires, which is T.

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