My son is now 22 years old and has been diagnosed since he was 12 years old with both ADHD and ODD. He would have been diagnosed earlier except for the fact that here in the Uk the Disorder was not well known and little was known about it until 12 years ago. However with regards the vidoe games my son plays them all day and all night until he goes to sleep usually around 7am after all night playing. as the games are now internet linked such as X Box 360 and Play station 3 he will probably be playing anyone in the world in any type of time zone . This means he doesnt sleep and it maybe that he is playing against american gamers who are 6 to 8 hours behind us so for them it is a suitable early evening game but my son is through the night and early morning. It really is such a great problem and not helped by the internet links these new game systems have . i rarely get a good nights sleep and yes his ODD getes unbearable as he plays the games. His body clock has gone to pieces and he is now unable to get up during the morning and has lost any hope of getting back into employment since he became redundant 18 months ago. I have no help from our doctor and my wife left me and my 2 kids 3 years ago as she couldnt cope with my sons ADHD and ODD. I have no idea how this game system centre ofa home will ever get back to a more sensible way . His game system is his life .

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My husband & I have established what we call "Non-negotiables". That means that there will be no discussion if they do something or try to get away with something & I simply say "Non-negotiable!" I don't cave. I don't discuss it. This has worked well for videogames b/c we have the rules in place. It's the only way we were able to keep their playing time under control. My singleton daughter (almost 12) & twin boys (almost 8) are all ADD, just like me, so we came up with rules for gaming use. On weekdays, no gameboys or wii before homework is finished. All electronics must be turned off by the time I call them to supper or else I turn them off, which means they can't save their game & lose their place. That motivates to start saving when I give them the 5 minute warning. I also try to give a 30 & 15 minute warning, so there is no surprise & ut cuts down on the backtalk. Also, all gameboys are plugged in to recharge at the breakfast bar, so after the kids go to bed & I'm straightening things up in the kitchen, I have a clear visual of all the gameboys. If one is missing, I turn into a bloodhound, tracking it down. Since all gameboys must be plugged in every school night downstairs, there can be no excuses. The penalty for taking a gameboy upstairs on a school night is the loss of the gameboy for the next whole day. If it happens twice in a week, then they lose it for the next upcoming weekend. This has only happened once. I think the key is to stick to your guns! If a rule is violated even by one minute, don't make excuses. Turn it off. Don't allow them to make you feel badly about them losing their place by having it turned off b/c they didn't save when you told them to. That was their choice! NOT yours! It was hard at first, but now the kids remind each other not to forget to plug in their gameboys. As a reward for following the rules, they get priviledges. On weekends, we let them take their gameboys to bed to play until they fall asleep or until 10 p.m. comes. We also praise them for following the rules & have special desserts like ice cream on one weekend night. They're used to having fruit or smoothies or italian ice for dessert, so ice cream is special. Hope this helps!

Kimberli, whose twins' opthamologist reccommended I increase small screen time to help mature some developmental delays Parker & Spencer have due to being born 2 1/2 months early from Twin-to-Twin-Transfusion Syndrome. Of course the doctor who looked like he was about 25 said this in front of my twins. I said I'd consider it & he had research to support it. To that, I got the double eye roll simultaneously from the boys. Oh well. When in doubt, there's always a Bunko group somewhere close by needing a sub for the night to regroup with other mommies. :)

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Our general rule is that there is no DS during the school week at ALL. We also have an X Box that he NEVER plays by himself; that is for "special time" for my son and husband to share. My 10 1/2 year old son was becoming quite obsessed with a new DS game over the winter break. We told him that he could play for one hour a day total over the break ONLY. It was up to him as to how to divide up the time...he could play 4 times during the day for 15 minutes, twice a day for 30 minutes, etc. We made him accountable by giving him the egg timer and telling him that he had to set the timer and stop playing when it went off. This worked very well; most times he would actually stop playing before the the alloted time ran out. The one time he did not play by the rules (he turned off the timer and kept playing) he lost his privilege for the rest of the day and the following day. This was a great way for us to manage an activity that he tends to become obsessed with (he has a Tourette's variant in addition to ADHD).

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Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you all, but I wanted to thank you for providing me with lived experiences that support my decision to NOT have ANY video games (XBOX, PS2, Wii, Gameboy, etc.) in my house! I'm a college professor and have seen the results (in terms of short attention spans, lack of creativity, ability to critically think) of this obsession (despite ADD/ADHD-type diagnoses). Ironically, my own mother thinks I'm depriving my son, because he doesn't have the games all of his peers do! Thanks for providing me with the ammunition that comfirms I'm making the right decision for my son.

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EErEdwards, It sounds like you really have your hands full. As long as your son is still under your roof there is still hope. You'll probably need a good therapist though and if that is not possible maybe you could find some books that might be helpful on this site.

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Rocket, your daughter must be a cyber friend of my son. I couldn't have described our video/computer games issues any better. When we limit video games to the weekend only, he refuses to do anything else for the entire weekend. When he tries to make a deal during the weekdays and promises to do his homework, that works for a couple of days then he starts saying "I don't have any homework." During those deal making days I remind him that this didn't work before, but I trust that he will do better this time. I always want to give him a chance to prove himself, but I end up kicking myself. Its a vicious cycle. He does get addicted or obsessed and sometimes can't move away from the screen. I know this is not normal because I have another son who self-monitors and gets off the computer when its time to get off. All of this affects social and academic successes. So, none of my strategies have been successful.

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We have a teenage daughter and a younger son with ADHD. We have experienced all of the various effects of videos that others have described. The newest issue we are struggling with is our daughter's non-stop text messaging. It got so bad that we have had to put limits on when she can text message (we check with the carrier website to see when she is sending messages and we take her phone away at night). Our son hasn't gotten there yet but has similar issues with video games, especially his older xbox. We have found that the following works for him and actually is helping him learn to regulate his time: He can earn up to 30 minutes during the week of an "electronic" - TV, DS, xbox, Wii, whatever you have and he gets to choose - by earning a star for each of several tasks (for him, he has to have all homework done, read by himself for the required time, shower by himself and get ready for bed). If he gets all of those done no later than one hour before we start getting ready for bed, he can play for 30 minutes. He earns the right to TRY for an electronic the following night by turning it off when we tell him the time is up (we give him a 5-minute warning). We track the stars on a calendar posted where we all can see it. If he earns enough stars throughout the week, he earns something special - a trip to the park, ice cream, etc. It sounds complicated but it actually is pretty easy to implement. If he doesn't have everything ready in time, he doesn't get to play. We set a time deadline because we have found that he needs to be off for at least 30 minutes before he lays down to go to bed. We have tried taking it away completely, but he enjoys it so much that we decided he could earn small increments of time. We also have found that the Wii is much better because it gets the kids up and moving, unlike the older video systems.

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Our ADD son is 19, and I believe that his fondness for video games contributed to his difficulties in college. We battled with him all through jr/sr high school but did not take a firm enough stand. If your child is under age 12, think seriously about ridding your house of video/computer games altogether. Many of you mentioned that you only allow E rated games, which we also did when our boys were young. However, they soon experience more stimulating games outside your home and become dissatisfied with milder stuff. Work hard to find activities and hobbies that your child will enjoy, and play together as a family. Model an active lifestyle for your children--ours saw Dad watching endless hours of TV sports and Mom with her nose always stuck in a book (the ADD one failed to notice how hard we worked the rest of the time). If you can't eliminate video games altogether, check into a timer device that will shut off the computer after the allotted time, and a large visual device such as a Time Timer.

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One thing that helps us with our son, if he wants to play video games is a mini trampoline after the game. A teacher recommended that he have a small one to work out his frustrations just in general. It was working so well that we told him if he wants to be able to play he would have to exercise right after. He really loves it and uses it on his own now when he can't calm himself.

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EErEdwards really spoke to me. I'd like to warn everyone with younger children to be wary of video games, especially the internet linked games, as EErEdwards son and mine play. My son is 17, quite bright, and is in high school, barely passing. He has been diagnosed with ADHD since 1st grade and I am only just now beginning to realize what that means in his life, his behavior, and his maturity (or lack of it). We even sent our son to a wilderness program to try and break the chain of video gaming and his increasingly violent behavior. Once he was away, with drug and alcohol addicted kids, he admitted he was addicted to video games (he doesn't use drugs or alcohol). Now that he has been home for a year, he denies there is any problem. The separation helped a good deal, and all systems were removed from the house, except, of course, the computer. He can run circles around me with the computer and quickly gained access despite any blocks I tried to establish. My son is incredibly creative and artistic, but I foresee a dismal future for him if gaming remains to be a huge part of his life. The reason I caution the parents of younger kids is that you must address this issue now, while they are young. Once the kids get older, you can not "make" them do anything they do not want to. They will not study just because you say they must. They will not stop playing just because you say they must. My son now has an after-school job and spends very little time doing school work, but I am trying to prepare him for moving out of our home in the near future. I wish we had never brought the game systems into our home, but we did. His older brothers did not have a problem with addiction, but they did not have ADHD. My son becomes hyper-focused and can not even hear me speak to him. He gets very upset very easily, screaming obscenities at the computer, frightening me and the dogs! Get the game systems out of your houses, make the computer accessible only by YOU signing the kids on, and realize that there is a monthly cost for the interactive games. Stop paying the monthly fees. Addiction is very real. The dopamine levels in their brains increase after only 20 minutes and it is as if they are on drugs. MY son and EErEdward's sons may be lost, but yours do not have to be. Life can go on even if the kids do not have video games. Be mean and take away the games. You will be helping them int he long run. One helpful book is Playstation Nation. Therapy did not help at all. Sorry for the decidedly depressing post!

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