You sound very frustrated. I'm sorry that you are struggling.

Just a hunch. Have you had your son checked for dsylexia? Many children with ADHD have it.

Sometimes they can limp along and cope with it, but by 11 often the bottom falls out and there's no more pretending.

Not saying that's it at all, just an idea worth pursuing.

If that is the problem, it would certainly explain his anxiety and depression. Failing in school will do that for sure.

If he tests positive for it, will you please let me know?

Even if he is, he's probably also struggling with a lack of social skills. That, too, hits hard in the 11-year-old hormone years of wanting to fit in with friends and peers.

Is there anything that brings him joy? Playing drums or skateboarding? It's important to find some way to balance out his life so it doesn't all feel like a painful slippery slope.

Perhaps a fellowship group of some kind where he can start brand new? Boy scouts or a youth group at your place of worship. Just an idea.

Sometimes kids with ADHD have made so many social mistakes at school that they can never recover socially there. That's why another group may be a good idea.

I hope this helps a little.

Please let us know what you are able to work out.

Yours in parenting success, Debra Sale Wendler

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Sandy,

I'm sorry that you are having so many difficulties. Straterra doesn't work as well for most individuals although there are some individuals who do well on it. I know that some doctors like to use it when depression is involved because it also can help with depression. I do know that the anxiety and depression need to be treated in order for the ADD meds to work their best. We have been very fortunate to have a doctor who has dealt with our whole family that includes a husband and adult daughter and teenage son who all have ADD. My daughter also has anxiety and depression and the doctor told us how he needed to treat that first before he could start ADD treatment. He has a great understanding of comorbidities and the proper timing and sequencing of medications. And our family has some complicated issues, but that's another story. One of his statements is, "Everything you have wrong with you, makes everything else wrong with you worse." All of the disorders affect each of the others. If you can't find a resolution with this psychiatrist, you might want to try another doctor. It doesn't necessarily have to be a psychiatrist, but he or she should be very knowledgeable regarding ADD treatment. I hope you are able to find a solution for your son. Don't give up. Sometimes it takes a while to get everything all sorted out.

Elaine

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I too am sorry to hear of all your problems.

I have been fortunate thus far. My son too was diagnosed early (age 4) and just turned 11.

He has been on Concerta since age 6 starting with 18 mg and moving up to a cap off of 54mg for the last two years. He is not on medication during the weekends or time off from school including the summer. I tried to have him off the medication for school as well, but that backfired. In talking with the doctor (who I do trust) we agreed to move him back to the 18mg of Concerta, just enough to help with the impulsiveness but not affect his appetite, which has greatly grown.

I hate to see the social part of boys at this age. My son does also struggle with social issues. He has a fondness for sports and that helps. He is ok at them, not a star but does try and I think that his peers see that he is willing to try. I want him to succeed in his friendships but sometimes the pressures of being good come at a price.

Socially I have had the school MSW help out with friendship classes. I didn't realize that making eye contact is a learned behavior and kids with ADHD have a harder time with it than others. At this age, if kids don't think you are paying attention to them (IE eye contact) they want nothing to do with you.

Well, I wish you a lot of luck. I wish we all had some magical cure for each of our kids. It seems like there is such a mix of conditions associated with ADHD that the possibilities are endless and medication just can't seem to help everyone.

Know that there are families out there with similar situations and we all want the best for our kids.

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Is your son at his upper limits for strattera dosage? Its possible it may need tweaked. Also some anti-d's need to be half the normal dosage if you are also using strattera at the same time..either one of these COULD be the reason your son is still having trouble...

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We have tried many things and found that a combination of concerta and wellbuterine work well for us. Our son is 16 and this balanced his add and mood. His appetite is not so bad either. Wellbuterine seems to enhance the concerta and make it last longer too.

I have also heard that focalin is similar to concerta and has less side effects on the appetite.

This has been a successful combination for us over the past 2 yrs. Balancing the meds gets complicated when they begin to grow and go through puberty.

Hang in there...

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My son is 11 will be 12 in March. He was started on meds at age 6 although there were other things tried before that. He is now taking 36 mg of concerta and 10 mg of Lexapro. We had upped it to 15 but i do not like the way he has gotten a bit aggressive since moving up so we are moving back to 10 mg. He is also seeing a therapist to help with his social skills and a few other things. My advise is to look into a new Dr if you feel your at the end of the road with the one you have. The first therapist my son had got us no where so i quit taking him. The 2nd one was much better.

Hugs hang in there. Lisa

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My 10 year old daughter had a similar experience. She was on Adderall and doing extremely well in school with grades, but coming home and melting down in various ways. We had extensive testing done this summer and she was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. She was put on Strattera and removed from the adderall. Her anxiety improved and her dose was raised to 40mg. About 2-3 months ago, her grades began to drop and she couldn't hold her school work together. I was getting notes home once a week. We decided the Strattera did nothing for the ADHD. She is now on Strattera 40mg and Vyvanse and seems to be doing much better with her grades. She got a "WOW" home from her teacher. Perhaps this might work for your son. Good luck with everything!

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My son has done much better on Vyvanse and Strattera at school, but the afternoons and evenings have gotten worse. He has been on this combination only 5 weeks, but recently his anger melt downs have gotten worse. He has started to yell and say very mean things to me, which at first I believed he really mean't. The outburst doesn't usually last very long, then like a light switch, he turns it off, apologizes and tells me he loves me and he is sorry and asks me why he does that (crying is usually involved too). It is almost like he is Dr Jykel and Mr. Hyde. Bipolar has crossed my mind, but I don't see any other symptoms. We have an appointment, our second with a psychiatrist, early next week. Recently, he has also had a problem falling asleeep. During our first visit with the psychiatrist, we discussed the symptoms of ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). Although he fit into some of the criteria, not enough for the doctor to be concerned. At that time, most of the opposition came at school with his teacher. Any advice?

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My son was diagnosed with mild to mod. ADD and dyslexia. He has been with a reading tutor for one year-3days a week for 1hour-even through the past summer. We are going to try CogMed for his attention. I will say that since he has gotten the tutoring for reading he is much happier--but his social skills are still being worked on. One on one is the best for my kid.

We hope to get the Cogmed started before mid-March. Annette

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Have you considered that it could be dyslexia? You may also want to read this site which helped my family alot. It is www.levinsonmedical.com/home.html Apparently ADD or ADHD can be dyslexia, but seem to be ADD or ADHD. Elizabeth

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SUSAN , would like to know what the outcome with your son was my case with my 5 year old son is very similiar. please respond?!

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My son was helped by enrolling him in a good social skills group and by using a comprehensive behavioral modification program in addition to his medication (Adderall for a few months, then a change to Daytrana patches). My son "maxes out" on medication after several weeks, so we have to change to a different medication for a while, and then back again. He really likes the social skills group and has learned many new social skills that kids with ADHD lack. The behavior modification program is software-based and uses a point system to earn privileges. He has responded very well to this approach and is learning more self control, which has allowed him to have more social success at school.

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Hi, I read your post and I hope I can help. My son is 10 and has been struggling with anxiety. He gets sick and vomits to the point where he cant participate in school. I did find something that was a big help, books by Dawn Huebner, what to do when you worry too much and what to do when you grumble too much. These books are excellent for kids and has exercises they can work on to over come anxiety. It doesnt solve the problem but these books related so much to my son that they were helpful. You can find them on amazon.com. PamW

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