I can understand how you feel and how frustrating it is. I too have felt that I often "overparent" my teenage daughter (13). Although, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself as it sounds like you have tried to take all positive steps towards working with her ADD. My daughter and I have just finished counseling with a specialist through an ADD clinic and I must say it was the best experience to date in dealing with her ADD. I was able to get a referral through my daughter's pediatrician when things with her were getting out of control (and yes, I seemed to be one of her major problems also). It entailed a waitlist of a few months but I was willing to wait to try and get the help we needed. Now my daughter, through counseling, is beginning to make better choices, is socially more responsible with us, her family, and her peers and seems to be taking a bit more responsibility for herself and her actions (consequences) at home and at school. It is hard not to step in and "save her from herself" at times, or to stop trying to look after everything for her but we are making progress. For me, it has been a matter of reading through a variety of literature (often recommended on this site) and "reteaching" myself how to parent a child with ADD more efficiently and effectively. I am also going to participate in a ADD parenting course this spring--so fingers crossed on more steps to revamping my parenting style!

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My son ( 13, Will be fourteen in May) was diagnosed with ADHD at the end of 7th grade. Not one teacher EVER reccommended he be tested. After much trouble and tears the principal suggested we have him tested. Sure enough he was diagnosed and we started Ritalin in May 07. I have had to help Luke every step of the way with his life. He is doing Awesome now and doesn't even need accomadations in school. I have tryed stepping back and it is sooooo hard because I don't want him to fall with ANYTHING, I don't know how or when to step back. Also, I'm extremely protective over him. It's amazing he is so well balanced . Luke is my middle son, I have a 11yr old boy and a 18yr old boy. My husband tells me all the time Luke is where he is because of me, but I worryyyyyyyyyyyyy. Luke has been on meds for 7 months and weighs 78lbs another concern.

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It is great to touch base with other parents in the same situation! I am going to see if we have a specific ADD counsellor here. I live in small town Ontario so...... it is possible not :) My biggest fear is that the suggestion they will offer me will be the same as I have read, learned before etc. I empathize with the weight worry, my daughter had her adnoids and tonsils removed, coupled with the concerta she was also very light. Do you give breaks at Christmas / Summer. I find it very hard to handle but decided it was best and she has gained about ten pounds over the holidays. With that said, children are different and so are family stresses!

I am very pleased to hear that the school finally decided to advise looking into your sons difficulties. I know as a teacher it is always difficult to suggest. I tend to talk to parents early when there may be signs and mention it's worthlooking into. However, in some schools / school boards teachers are not able to even suggest the possibility of ADHD as it is seen as unqualified "diagnosing".

Here is a funny tid-bit about trying to give responsibility. My daughter was late for school almost every day for a month, so I asked her teacher to give her a detention each time. While I was able to stop nagging and she was more self-motivated she still ended up late, ignoring all my helpful plans / alarm clock etc. Now she is on the verge of suspension and I am trying to really stay out of it and let her experience her own repercussions. WOW is it hard! We'll see how this new term goes!

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I so agree with above comments. I am the mother of a 10 year old daughter. Working full time and having one other child is about all I could handle. My husband has been really helpful assisting our daughter with consequences. I found these two things very helpful. 1. Read, "Blessings of a Skinned Knee" by Susan Mogel. 2. See if there is a local love and logic parenting class. Jim and Charles Fay are terrific. Info also available at http://www.loveandlogic.com.

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