Hi ebmccauley,

ADDitude has some resources and directories that may help you find more long-term support: http://www.additudemag.com/resources/index.html

And check out CHADD's website to find support groups and other resources in your area: http://www.chadd.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Support

Some of the personal ADHD stories on this website may help you too. You definitely are not alone!

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While it isn't one of my shining moments that I would willingly broadcast, it is important for you to know you are not alone. This exact same issue happened to me. I let my car insurance lapse by one 24 hour period. I happened to get into an accident (deer vs. car- deer won, car lost) 12 minutes to midnight. Had the deer waited 12 minutes to maul my little Mazda I'd have been covered and paid only my $500 deductible. Instead, I paid out $3500. That might not seem like a lot, but the whole car cost me $7,000 to begin with. OK, that part aside, you're not greatly injured and that is such a blessing. You can't dwell on what you shoulda-coulda-woulda done. That's one of the things I've learned. I tend to hyperfocus on the "negative" aspects of my ADD. That's where the anxiety and depression come from. You have to ask yourself, "What can I do about it today?". That's all you've got to worry about. Not what you should've done, but what can you do now. I know you mentioned being uninsured in your state is illegal, I believe it is in most states. If this accident with vs. another car (instead of like mine, vs. nature), you may want to consult with a lawyer. This can be informal such as a family friend, or more formal if you don't know a lawyer personally. Explain the situation, do not worry that they will judge you... they're lawyers and everyone knows how they're viewed in popular opinion :). All kidding aside, you can get through this as long as you focus on the "Can's" and let the "Shoulda's" "Coulda's" and "Woulda's" see themselves to the door. Best of luck... you'll be ok.

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While it isn't one of my shining moments that I would willingly broadcast, it is important for you to know you are not alone. This exact same issue happened to me. I let my car insurance lapse by one 24 hour period. I happened to get into an accident (deer vs. car- deer won, car lost) 12 minutes to midnight. Had the deer waited 12 minutes to maul my little Mazda I'd have been covered and paid only my $500 deductible. Instead, I paid out $3500. That might not seem like a lot, but the whole car cost me $7,000 to begin with. OK, that part aside, you're not greatly injured and that is such a blessing. You can't dwell on what you shoulda-coulda-woulda done. That's one of the things I've learned. I tend to hyperfocus on the "negative" aspects of my ADD. That's where the anxiety and depression come from. You have to ask yourself, "What can I do about it today?". That's all you've got to worry about. Not what you should've done, but what can you do now. I know you mentioned being uninsured in your state is illegal, I believe it is in most states. If this accident with vs. another car (instead of like mine, vs. nature), you may want to consult with a lawyer. This can be informal such as a family friend, or more formal if you don't know a lawyer personally. Explain the situation, do not worry that they will judge you... they're lawyers and everyone knows how they're viewed in popular opinion :). All kidding aside, you can get through this as long as you focus on the "Can's" and let the "Shoulda's" "Coulda's" and "Woulda's" see themselves to the door. Best of luck... you'll be ok.

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This happened to me too! It was several years ago recently after I'd had a baby and my father had just died, and was probably suffering from all kinds of depression, I backed into a car as I backed out of a driveway, and I too, had forgotten to pay the insurance bill (well, I had paid it like the day before, but I had gotten notice that it was cancelled). I felt like the biggest loser that ever lived but what saved me was that my insurance agent noticed that the company hadn't given me the proper amount of notice of cancellation that is required, (maybe by law, not sure), and they had to reinstate me and paid the bill. This might be a loophole you could look into.

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I have had my share of unfortunate events. My daughter and I both suffer from ADHD and anxiety. Luckily she was diagnosed at age 7 and I started the research and treatment for her. One problem was that I also had ADHD or ADD in adults as they say. But had not been diagnosed yet. ( Now doctors have more information) Instead I was being treated for migraines and depression. For 11 years of riding the roller coaster of different medications and side effects to prevent the migraines. I was finally diagnosed with ADD/Anxiety. I still get the migraines. Not as much as I used to but Its improved alot. Even though I am doing okay with the current medication I am on, there are times its a struggle. I stay at home with my two children and my husband travels alot. There are days I am so overloaded I feel like I am going to have a nervous break down but there is no time. I have came in the house after picking the kids up from school walked in the house leaving the car door opened and not even aware of it until the next day when we go out to go to school. I always feel exhausted then irritated then angry then alone but then I get it together and refuse to let this control me. Thank God my husband is understanding because I sure could not tolerate me. I am also a control freak. I developed some of these habits as a way of coping with the ADD as a child which also triggers the migraines. The only advice that I can give and hope it helps is get several calanders one for personal/family schedules and reminders one for business/bills and have them side by side. The trick and work is getting the information on it. (You can do it ) Try to get ready for work before the kids are up if possible do as much as you can the night before. Its not always possible but a little can help alot. Try to relax and realize your not perfect and you are one person. I STRUGGLE WITH THIS MYSELF, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ITS TRUE. Remember you are not alone. Another killer is the guilt us moms feel. Don't have any ideas on that. That sucker attacks constantly. All you can do is try your best and don't give up. GOOD LUCK!

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My friends and I call this sort of thing a "depression tax"; in our case it's an "ADD tax". If I focused on all the money I've lost and wasted, etc. I'd go nuts. On the other hand, we can do things other people can't do, and I've earned money because my brain is just this way. So it's no different from anything else that we regards as "not normal." People just can't see that what we have is actually, biologically real.

So all this gives me compassion for the things other people have that I can or can't see. That's good; I didn't have any in the past.

If there is somebody (like the "baby dad") who thinks the bills should be paid on time, they should help you do that. If you're taking care of his kids, it's in his interest to make sure these things happen, instead of just pointing fingers at other people. If he really cares and is good with that stuff, tell him to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

Otherwise maybe there's a friend or even somebody online who can be like your "bill" coach, to review deadlines that are coming up. And you check in with them to make sure you're on track.

I didn't have children for exactly this reason. I knew I had my hands full managing myself, and I didn't want to stay married to someone just because he was a good bill payer and house-fixer, etc. That wouldn't have been fair to him. So I admire everyone with ADD who does have kids and manages that in addition to their own life. Congratulations for doing as well as you're doing.

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Welcome to the group ebmccauley! I hope you find the right combo of a good doc, meds, true friends, supportive family members, a wonderful partner and a great job/boss. All these can help . . . get Hallowell & Ratey's $15 book "Delivered from Distraction" and Kolberg's ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life

Persistent, I couldn't agree more about the "ADD Tax." Basically, I'm a 50-yr old professional who, before my 2007 diagnosis, lost well over a hundred thousand dollars and countless opportunities due to ADD (and the way "normal" people react to it). That's just the tip of the iceberg. Regret, shame, existing problems and the fear of possible old/new problems due to ADD can really weigh you down and sap your energy. Focus on "What progress can I use those energies on instead?" or "What can I do today about my ADD?"

Other ADD tips & treatment abound but can overwhelm you because there are so many and no one really seems to know what mix will work for YOU. I'm trying to boil the tips down to the top ten I can work on that will give me the "biggest bang for the buck." It's a work in progress and I better get on it!

Best of luck, ADDAWAY.

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Thank God for this place huh? You are doing what we all do really well .....beating yourself up over the shoulda.... I have an adopted daugher who's five and she got diagnoised recently. Then after doing all the research, like so many others, I too realized I really have it and then got diagnoised too. I had been seeing a thearipist and I supposely had chronic depression even though I swore I had adhd. So I went with their diagnoises cuz they probably knew better so I thought. Anyway, you are so not alone. I recently started Aderall and the first week was hard cuz I couldn't sleep! Got through that and now I can sleep okay and it seems to be helping some. I can tell when I am on it compared to not and it feels good. Hope it helps you too. My daughter is on meds to and has shown big improvement in kindegartern so I am thankful for that! It's better at home for us too! Maybe think of the accident as the catalist you needed to seek more help and now things are only going to get better for you. Hope your neck is feeling better and thank god that you weren't seriously hurt. Take care!

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i am 60 yrs old. i have add as does my husband of 20 yrs and our 18 yr old son. also my 36 year old son, his 35 yr old son and a couple of the grandkids with add. everytime in the past that i have paid needless amounts of money due to my lack of organization i've considered it a tuition payment in "the college of hard knocks". needless to say, i have my doctorate. so here is what worked for me:

• • • • i got a monthly date book from the dollar store
      • as the bills come in i immediately stick them in the book.

whenever is the best time for me, i go thru them and write the amount of each bill and what it is for at the bottom of the page of the month the bill is due

• • • • i circle the paydays
    • i decide which bills get paid from each paycheck and write them next to the circled date according to priorty.

now, thru the years i've tweaked my system and added more record keeping but if i have any advice it is this:

1. 1. 1. 1. 1. consider it as important as your job
         2. if you have a child who is also unorganized don't feel that you can't help him because your so unorganized yourself please........ give it your best shot it affects so many parts of your life

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I've been sitting hee at this computer for several hours (gettingup and down of course!), trying to pay somme bills here that have piled up. I had to spend 2 months next to my mom's hsopiital/rehab bedside adn things got away from me. In addtion, I have ben switching over ot paying bils online. this works well for me but I find myself paying the same bill twice becaseu I have a hard time keeping up with what's owed and what's been paid. I am also missing a meting tonight because I cant stand my house being in such a mess any longer. I am in th midst of trying to clean but when I do, I OVERCLEAN. I want to ake everything out of the room and clean from the baseboards up...or nothing at all. I feel like I am always bumping into myself. Anybody relate?

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