I feel your pain girl!! I have lived my entire life with ADD and up until 6 months ago, didn't know my particular brand of crazy had a name:) My advice to you first and foremost is to quit beating yourself up about all the things you aren't, all the things you don't get done, and all the things everyone else seems to be able to do that you can't. You are a great mom, the fact that you quit your meds during pregnancy and then so you could nurse speaks volumes about your mothering. I can remember four years ago when I was self medicating my ADD with ephedra, and I found out I was pregnant!!! You want to talk about a not nice person!!! I didn't want to give up my drug because it had done so much for me and yet I had to because I was pregnant. I couldn't wait to give birth just so I could go back to my ephedra!! And then I nursed for about a month and I couldn't take it any longer!!! Then by the time I gave birth my drug was no longer available!! My life is very interesting because of my ADD. I am alot of fun because of my ADD. I would not have it any other way!!! As far as the housekeeping goes, try visiting the Flylady's website. She's very helpful. Also try visiting Sandra Felton's website, messies anonymous. She's has lots of good advice. I tried to go to school last year and I was doing fine but my life fell apart everywhere else. I have learned that there are some things that I have to do good enough and somethings not so good and I have to prioritize those things on a good, better, best, scale. Lots of things are good, but not everything is the best for me and my family. Try taking fewer classes at a time, try to schedule them in the afternoon so you have a little more time to get yourself around in the morning, enlist family and friends to help fill in the gaps where you can, and something I do to trick myself into getting to places on time, all the clocks in my house say a different time. Some are 10 minutes fast, some are 15 minutes fast and some are odd minutes fast like 7 minutes. This way I know that the clocks are fast but not by how much, this encourages me to get a move on...This might not help you. Babies tend to make you late and scatter brained, I call it mommybrained. This too shall pass!! Take heart and learn to love yourself, ADD and all!!

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Being a mom with ADD is so hard! Like I said before, getting out the door on my own in the morning was hard enough and adding a baby to my journey has become a huge struggle. I used to be a hard working recruiter working from 8am to 9pm. Never feeling satisfied in my job or like I ever got anything done. I love being a mom and this journey has given me more rewards than anything else I have ever dne. Especially when I look at my daughter. I just want to get myself back on track. Hearing the support that I'm a good mom is exactly what I need. I swear that there are a bunch of moms out there with ADD that dont even come forward. I wish we had a moms support group in IL for moms with ADD. I dont think there is enough support for us.

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Hi I am a lactation consultant and can look up meds for you. There may be one that you can take and continue nursing. but keep in mind that getting out of the house with a baby is always very difficult so do not quit for that reason. I fyou can nurse atleast the 1st year you will give your baby so much more than quitting now. I would encourage you to try to hang on until atleast then. She will be nursing less and less so it will be a lesser issue than if you were nursing her as a newborn. Also you could nurse part time meaning at night and early morning when you do not take the med.Let me know what you are taking and I will look them up for you in my resource book. Depending on the med and how long it stays in your system then it may be a nonissue.

i would encourage you to look at increasing your skills at organizing . there are several articles this month that may be helpful. Get your things together in a diaper bag ahead of time so that you are not rushing out with missing things. Also start by taking one area of your home at a time and get it put back together . You can do it and your baby can get what she needs as well. Feel free to get back to me directly . BARBIE

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I was an ADD Mom for 9 years before I knew why I couldn't get my kids to school on time or keep track of all the notices coming home, etc. My kids even missed a couple of birthday parties because I misplaced the invitations in various "to do" piles! Let's not even talk about trying to keep up with the messes created by two bright and creative, probably ADD, children....I've worked really hard to convince myself that i'm still a good Mom. And, you what? I really am! My kids know they are loved, and that's the most important thing.

They also know that, when their lunch isn't ready in time to go to school in the morning, I will bring it to them -- probably a little bit after lunctime has already started (!).

The most important thing that you, as a new mother, need to remember is what's really important. Are you ever going to win the on-time or spotless house award? Probably not, and that should be ok. Making sure your children feel valued and loved is SO much more important. And learning to laugh at your shortcomings. And, learning what you can do to be a little more organized -- to allow yourself to feel an occasional sense of calm when you've got more to keep track of than you can possible manage in your head.

Since I was diagnosed, about a year and a half ago, I've read practially every book out there on being an ADD adult and on organizing for ADD. I even hired a professional organizer. I ended up with even more mess and more to do than before I started trying to get organized! What I've learned is that simpler is better: they don't need all the latest toys if you can't figure out where to put them; they don't need to be involved in after-school activities everyday if you can't keep track of the schedule. And, you know what? That's ok. You need to decide what works FOR YOU and for your particular family. Sure, hear what others have to say, but always be true to yourself and what works for you.

Oh, and make sure that you get enough sleep. If you are well-rested and happy, your child will be happy. If you are sleep-deprived and harried, your child will not be truly happy -- no matter what kinds of great experiences you try to give her/him. No matter what your on-time percentage is!

I say all of this from experience. My older child is now going on 11. For years, I couldn't understand what was wrong with me, why I couldnt figure out how to be "adequate mom", let alone "super-mom". I'm learning to accept that I'm not ever going to be one of those "together" moms who remembers to bake for the PTA bake sale. I'm learning to let go of the "shoulds" and of what other people must think. I 've learned that it's more important that I hug my kids and laugh with them. And, that I keep the house just neat enough for me to feel comfortable letting them invite one of their friends over for a playdate.

By the way, I tried FlyLady because so many people said so many great things. I was TOTALLY overwhelmed by her methods and her e-mails!! I find lists to be extremely helpful - as long I remember where I put them! Plus, a little bit of thinking ahead, which I never needed to do before I had kids, really does help. I don't remember who suggested packing your diaper bag ahead of time but I am slowly discovering the incredible difference in having myself and my kids all set up in advance -- pack food the night before, make it a practice to keep your diaper bag perpetually ready to go. Or, even better -- keep 2 if you can afford a second one -- and make sure that the one not in use is always stocked for that last minute "Oh no, I forgot to pack the diaper bag" which is sure to happen one day. I'm now doing my ADD run-on, so I will end with this -- enjoy your baby, everything else you can work out. And, when you can't work it out, think of who you can ask for help!)

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You are not a bad mom!!!! I can relate to some of what you're feeling - my son is now 13 mos old. I stopped taking my meds for 4 mos before even trying to get pregnant, got pregnant a couple of mos later, no meds during pregnancy and no meds during 10 mos of breastfeeding. It was really really tough stuff. Just having to sit still while breastfeeding multiple times a day was enough to drive me up a smooth wall at times. The best strategies I developed for that were to download audiobooks into my iPod and listen to them during the endless feeding sessions. I also made sure I kept the table next to the chair I nursed in stocked with tissues, a bottle of water, breast pads, a note pad, my ipod, the cordless phone, the tv remote and probably a few other things. I'm not sure if that part is hard for you but it was really tough for me. I would start to feel extremely agitated and restless and eventually resentful. Having some of those things on hand really helped.

I also tried to make sure I kept the diaper bag stocked in advance. That's one of those things I still struggle with even now that I'm back on my meds. Using two diaper bags didn't work for me, I just got confused over which was packed and full and which needed packing. I did start keeping diapers, wipes and a spare outfit for the baby in the car at one point and to be honest I'm not sure I ever used them.

Sleep is HUGE though. It wasn't until I had my son that I understood why some countries use sleep deprivation as a form of torture! It really made me miserable and that much more scattered. I hated hearing it but seriously, get some sleep. It really really helps.

Sometime around 10 mos I started taking my meds again. At that point I was only nursing for the first two feeds of the day so right after the second feed I would take my meds and they would be metabolized by the time it was morning and time for the first feed. Maybe you could do something like that depending on what meds you're taking. Check with your physician.

Hmmm...not sure what else I can say except that it is tough. My non-ADHD friends seem to be having a tough time too tough. I'm not saying that it isn't more challenging when you throw ADHD into the mix, just that it motherhood is just tough no matter how you slice it. It's super rewarding, blah blah blah but it's also hard.

On that note, don't beat yourself up if you decide to stop nursing and start taking your meds again. 6 months of breastmilk is still a good run. If you think that you'll be happier and that your quality of life will significantly improve if you start taking your meds again then do it. It's okay to make that decision. It won't make you a bad mother. YOu've done phenomenally well thus far and you've been incredibly selfless. If you think you need to take your meds, if you think it's time then don't guilt yourself out of it. A happy you will only make you a better mom. Really.

Sorry if this was a bit disorganized. I've not had much sleep for the last week. Head cold + baby = not enough rest!!

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So here it is 2:30 am and I am up - not because the 9-month old or the 4-year-old are up - but because I have a deadline tomorrow and my boss is really starting to get fed up with the lateness and I simply can't allow myself to miss another one - not just to keep him happy but also for my own self-respect - and I'm surrounded by unpacked boxes from when we moved in ten months ago and unfolded laundry and stacked-up books and am avoiding writing my report by being on this forum. I've just recently stumbled across descriptions of adult ADD and see myself in so much of it - all the symptoms that I have always chalked up to just being a failure - an apparently high-potential one who usually compensates well enough and puts up a good front, but still a failure - maybe they are symptoms of a disorder! A treatable one! But I am afraid to get diagnosed because what if they tell me that I do not have ADD - then I will know for certain that all my symptoms really are just my shortcomings? How did you all make the decision to get diagnosed? Thanks in advance for any thoughts...

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Hi Harriet - The decision to get diagnosed wasn't difficult for me. I work in education and it was actually a fellow teacher friend (guidance counsellor really) that piqued my curiosity. I didn't have any hang ups about being diagnosed with anything really. Here's one way you could look it at: a) you find out you have ADHD and explore treatment options or b) you rule out ADHD and explore other possible options. Either way you could get some help with whatever challenges you have. Good luck!

Also, try reading some of the stuff on the Adult Newly Diagnosed boards if you haven't already...

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