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Thread : finishing my GED and going to college.......eek...im scared!!!  
24 Dec 2007 @ 2:13 PM
Missy1988 Join Date: Mon 24th Dec 2007
Threads: 2 Posts: 0
finishing my GED and going to college.......eek...im scared!!!

hi yall, my name is missy. im new on here so im trying to figure everything out... ok so about me....im ADHD, severe social phobia, and manic depressive bipolar. i also have type 1 diabetes and hypothyroidism. i take more pills than God. i dropped out of high school 3 weeks into my senior year. i was suppose to graduate in '07. well i was not diagnosed with ADHD but i was for bipolar. i had really bad depression (still do someimes) and well.....i couldnt handle being around all my friends anymore. big crouds in the halls. anything.. the typical i cant do my homework because i cant do it by myself. it was to hard for me. well right after i dropped out...i took my english writing and reading GED. i passed just barely. i failed math, social studies, and science. they were so hard for me. i couldnt focus. at this time i still didnt realize i had ADHD....i wish i would have known and gotten treated earlier. i want to do good in school i want to become a Biochemist. i know big right! with a learning disability and i cant even pass the simplist GED tests. sigh.....my plan as of today....i have gotten GED books for science math and socal studies......i also picked up a biology book and gemomety and english grammar and also a algebra book. cost me a billon dollars. anyway....i take my life an hour at a time. most people take it a day at a time but i cant do that. im on ritilin 10mg 4 times a day. and a bunch of bipolar meds for my anger, aniexty and im about to start a MAOI in 3 weeks. im just a messed up girl. i was terrified in school i would be the quiet one in the corner sleeping b/c i felt like there was no point. now im almost 20 years old. and i cant be on Social Security Income for the rest of my life. i have to do something with it. now in my mind.....i feel that if i study hard enough i can get a lil bit ahead before i go off to a community college. then to a bigger college....but this GED is terrifying. what if i never pass it. im going to bwe going to classes. i want to do something with myself. i want to feel accomplished. i want to get over this ADHD and depression. being manic is hard. i just dont know what to do....i feel that i will fail. that i bought all these books and im not going to study them because my fear or failing is so great in my head. i want to acheive my goals. but i have so many. oh and i have such a hard time managing my money. i spend it all in 5 days. then my mom covers me the rest of the month. sigh...i am a failure. i remember in school when a test would come i would panic so much i couldnt even read the words right. i skip over words i try to slow myself down but i cant because i looose intrest and my mind starts to wonder when im reading about something important that i need to memorize but im thinking of a totally different thing. how will i be able to study right and remember when i go off to college and when i study these books ive bought. i want to improve my reading skills well really all my subjects. im sorry this is soooooo long im just telling yall whats going on with me. i dont know what to do with myself. sometimes i overwhelm myself so much with what i have to do today or tomorrow and i dont get anything done. it sucks. i feel like i cant do anything. i just dont know if i can do this. get my GED go to college. i know i need to make sure my teachers know im ADHD and all. but what if they dont help or care?...... what should i do? anybody feel the same as me? have the same problems?? help me.

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3 Jan 2008 @ 2:33 PM Reply # 1
sprydi1@gmail.com Join Date: Thu 3rd Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 2
I hope this doesn't bore you.

Hi Missy,

Boy, am I proud of you! I didn't have the, um, ovaries to do what you are doing until I was 38 years old. I did graduate from high school, barely, because of politics (too long and boring to go into!). Due to my high school experience, I didn't have the confidence that I could accomplish college, so I didn't bother trying. First in my family not to go, so that didn't go over well! I then spent the next 20 years undiagnosed doing various things: massage therapist (great for ADD/ADHD), married, 3 kids, etc.). Found myself divorced from an addict physician and had to support my family. So, I bit the bullet and signed up for school at a small branch of our large state university. I was scared to death, crying and freaking out!

My first quarter I took the full time schedule of 3 classes. After the first day I thought, "Are you kidding me? This is a piece of cake." The next quarter I took 4 courses, being careful to schedule 1 hard class with 3 "easier" ones (in other words, for me, 1 math class with several social science classes). From then on, I scheduled 5 classes per quarter. The school wasn't happy, as I only had to pay for 3. I graduated, missing honors by 1/10 of a point, in ten quarters! Can't do much with a bachelor's these days, and I didn't know what I wanted to do anyway, so I hid in school longer, still undiagnosed, getting a masters in social work, part-time, 3 years, with honors, and a contract to teach as a grad student-something I have never done, but figured they would pay me and my tuition, so why not? At the end of my first quarter teaching, I was voted Faculty of the year, but they didn't know what to do because no graduate student had ever won! I also had very little tuition to pay because, during all 5 years I was applying for scholarships (who needs sleep!) and won over $28,000 to pay for school! Still undiagnosed.

I graduated this past spring, just before I was 44. Prior to graduation, I had talked them into a 3/4 time contract (with benefits!) teaching 7 classes a year. They farmed me out to the main campus, which is where I was too afraid to go years ago and would have gone free, as my father was a professor there. The department I work for does not give contracts to non-professors, but decided to give me one due to the feedback from the students. Still undiagnosed.

Between graduation and the fall term, I had to take a state licensing exam for social work. A 4 hour sit down, boring, computer TEST. I KNEW I could NOT pass this exam, simply because I wouldn't be able to sit that long or read and comprehend that much material. I also knew that I would never be able to work a "regular" job, which I picked up in addition to teaching 2 classes a quarter, so that I wasn't bored by doing just one thing. I was hired to do counseling 3 days a week at a local mental health agency. By this time all 3 of my sons were diagnosed (one after he started college). By this time, it was obvious they had inherited it from me, as we have always teased me and my "unique" ways! I finally went and was diagnosed and managed to pass the exam. Best gift I ever gave myself. The whole family dynamic has changed, as well.

Missy, most of us teaching are very willing to accommodate students individual needs. I have actually taken many students who I recognize as ADD/ADHD to student disability services myself. They are either undiagnosed or decided to go off meds because they wanted to try college "doing it themselves," and are struggling. I tell my students the 1st day of classes that I have ADD and that they will notice it. I ask them to be sure to turn of their phones and enter and leave the classroom quietly, so that I am not taken off task. It usually only takes once, and I go off on some tangent for 10 minutes then we all laugh, and they never do it again! I will meet individual students for tests. I will give them tests verbally, if that is what their learning style requires. I do a lot of hands on activities, so that the students can "feel" what I am teaching for the kinesthetic learners (of which I am one). I have students take notes for those who cannot do that and listen at the same time (again, me). Many folks with ADD/ADHD say that college is easier for them because you can schedule classes according to your body rhythm. If you have a hard time waking, don't schedule before 10 am.

Missy, because of my age and the coping skills I have picked up over the years, I was able to accomplish this feat undiagnosed. I do know that no amount of coping techniques alone could help me do what I am now doing, so I never miss my medication. Believe me, I still grieve for what might have been if I had been diagnosed and educated about ADHD when I was your age. However, I am who I am, I accept that and I celebrate it daily. I still hear the tapes of the adults in my life telling me that I couldn't succeed, I couldn't sit still, I couldn't-fill in the blank. I still sometimes feel I am a fake who will be found out. Believe it or not, I still wonder if I can actually teach a class! But slowly, Missy, those tapes are being replaced by kind, gentle, encouraging words to myself. Educate yourself as much as you can about this unique way your brain is wired. It brings tremendous gifts (for instance, the ability to take 5 classes, work 3 part-time jobs and raise 3 kids at the same time!). Learn and practice the organizational skills necessary for our brains. And always remember that just because you do something differently than another, does not make it wrong, just different.

Well, I have managed to procrastinate long enough. The new term started today and I have to teach in 2 hours, so I should probably put my syllabus together and gather my things for the 2 classes I have to teach tonight. Told you I had ADHD! I will have a "Missy" or two in each of my classes and when I recognize them, I will take extra care of them in honor of you. Follow your bliss, Missy. Remember, it is the journey, not the destination. Thank you for listening.

Peace, Diane

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28 Jan 2008 @ 9:11 AM Reply # 2
Sylvia Lynn Join Date: Sun 27th Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 5
You can do it

Missy, I used to work with Student Support Services. Many of our students had ADHD, and did very well with accommodations such as extra time for tests, a private room, tape recorder for lectures, notetakers, whatever is necessary. Accommodations that you need to succeed in school are mandated by the ADA, and it costs you nothing extra. Most teachers are willing to work with you, and in any event, they must comply with the ADA. I knew of one med student with ADHD, a political science student who will go far with his extra energy, among others. You can do it.

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6 Feb 2008 @ 8:21 AM Reply # 3
jimj Join Date: Wed 6th Feb 2008
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good for you!

Missy, I left high school as a freshman and took my GED when I should have been a junior and passed in the upper 10% of anyone that had taken it at that point. I then went to work which was great and just what I needed. I had to go back to school when I was in my early 30's due to a work injury and found that my ADD/ADHD actually helped me with higher education. High school and college and tech schools are way different since the people there are more "adult" in the way they act and there's less social stress and more focus on learning. I would be sure to speak with a counsler and make sure they're aware of your conditions and see what they can do to assist you. Enjoy your college years as they will most likely one of the best experiences of your life!

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