Some CHADD support groups have social skills training available. There is also a book called Skillstreaming for Adolescents that deals with teaching social skills. I got the book at my doctor's suggestion but I have to admit I haven't read it yet. My son has inattentive ADD but he doesn't have any problems with making friends so it wasn't a major concern for me. I believe the website for CHADD is www.chadd.org Elaine

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Many child psychologists offer social skills classes. Ask your insurance for a referal if you have it or your pdoc.

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Hi,

As a coach I have had great results working with kids on their social skills. That would be another avenue.

Thanks, Lyn

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Hi Anne,

Role playing can help most children acquire social skills through practice. It may take a little while, but eventually most parents see their children's social skills, and friendships, increase.

To find out more from ADDitude, go to: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2552.html

Good Luck!

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would help him. I have found that if one kid gets to know my ds better one on one (and it usually goes better because ds does better one on one), then other kids that like that kid will give ds a chance.

It also gets better as they get older (somewhat!)

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Ann,

I have a 10 year old son with the same exact issues. He is such a great kid but loses it when he is around other kids. He is overly excited, too loud and too silly and the other kids get irritated. We talk, talk, talk about it but it doesn't seem to help. The only thing that would help is to get more practice at it, but the other kids don't invite him to things because of the exact issues we need to work on. Other parents misintrepret his behavior as being ill behaved. We have spent time playing games w/ psychologist but that he is intelligent and he can talk about good choices but in the heat of the moment he acts impulsively and the whole cycle starts over. We tried a summer camp last year but I'm not sure it really helped.

I know kids across the country are struggling with these issues, I wish there was a way to connect.

If you discover anything please post it to this forum, thanks!!

Julie

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Good luck. I have been trying for years to find some help. The child physcologist says she doesn"t have enough patients around his age to form a group. His counselor was suspose to be working with him but nothing has come from it. Things at school have not improved. He has no friends. One boy will be his so called friend if none of the other kids know it.

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I used to want a coach to help me with my social skills. I am 42 now. I couldn't find one so I had to go to a therapist regularly to work on my social skills and to learn that their are consequences to every action whether it be good or bad. With ADD/ADHD most are looking for instant gradification. That's really not reality and I had to learn most of my lessons the hard way.

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My son used to make noises that would bug other kids. Then he had to get braces and a palate expander. The palate expander prevented him from doing his noise. Since it was in for an entire school year he seems to have gotten out of the habit. He's had the expander out for a year and hardly ever does his noise anymore.

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My ADHD/LD son was similar to the boys others have described. I googled social skills training for our city, and along with recommendations from the school psychologist and a friend, signed him up for social skills "training." It is like group therapy and my son refers to it as "group." There are 5 or 6 boys in the group all in the 10 year old age range and they meet weekly for an hour with the therapists. They role play, talk about proper behavior, practice, play games, etc. He has been going since August and doing well and starting to put his new skills into practice. The group ends in May so we'll see what happens then. If you are interested, depending on where you live, I suspect there are several place that offer these classes or groups. Good luck. I know it is hard seeing your child with few friends and the inability to fit in with peers.

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My 8 year old son has ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder and Aspergers. He saw an Occupational Therapist for a year for his SPD / motor skills issues. He is currently seeing a Psychiatrist for his meds and a Behavioral Psychologist for social skills training. His ED teacher added social skills training to his IEP at school this year and she is also working with him on these. What helped me the most was a tip provided by the Behavioral Psychologist - don't just correct the behavior, demonstrate / model it. For example, my son used to greet me by putting his hands on my chest - pretty embarrassing in public. Time and time again I would tell him not to do that but never showed him what WAS OK. The next time he did that, I gently took his arms and placed them around my waist in a hug while explaining that this was a better way to greet me. It made a big difference. Hang in there!! Collapse and sob in private but never give up and never stop advocating for your child!!

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I have an 11 year old girl with ADHD and would love to hear from parents with girls in this age range. I bought a workbook called Socially ADDept which contains lesson plans for each mini-social skill (e.g. how to enter a group, how to ask questions, etc.). We worked on this together last summer but since then she says she has lots of friends and doesn't want my help on this (pre-adolescent pulling away from mom, no doubt); however, she has yet to mention anyone by name more than once or ask to have anyone come over or visit them, so I know it's still a problem. Check out the book, though--it's clearly written and could even be used by the kids without the parents helping if they were so inclined.

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Check with your school special ed director. My son attended a once-per-week workshop during school for various things. Last Fall it was Making and Keeping Friends. This semester it's about Study Skills.

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MY SON GOES THROUGH THE SAME STUFF HERE , HE HAS SEVER ADHD OCD ODD ANGER MOOD DISORDERS.AND IT IS HARD FOR HIM TO MAKE FRIENDS HE HAS VERY FEW OF THEM , AND HE SAIDS NO ONE LIKES HIM AT SCHOOL , NOW KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T MAKE SOME ONE LIKE BUT OTHER CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE SO CRUEL .......

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The best book that I have read on the subject is by Richard Lavoie - The forward alone for the book from Mel Levine is excellent. The focus of the book is helping your child find social success. I think its a must read for every parent of an ADHD child. While its not a end all cure, some of the things did help. I have to say as a parent with (2) ADHD kids and having it myself, social problems are by far the worst. My 9 nine year old son is very social and loves to be around other children but as you all know, those ADHD quirks can really put off other kids. I would suggest picking 1-3 behavior traits you/your child wants to work on and see if the books ideas help. Its a slow, hard and constant process to teach adhd kids social compentency. Most schools DON'T want to put social goals in an IEP and please, push hard to get them in. It helps if the school knows you think/want this to be an equal priority to improving academic success...good luck!

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"It's so Much Work to be Your Friend" by Richard Lavoie

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I also am raising my ADHD grandson. Not only does he have ADHD he also has emotional issues his mom (my daughter ) passed away and no dad in sight. My husband and I are struggling. He has no friends and lives a very isolated life with just the 3 of us. School is a nightmare for him on the social level. Academic he is good. We are starting with a new counsler this week ( 2nd one in a year) Quote:

Sharon said:

Good luck. I have been trying for years to find some help. The child physcologist says she doesn"t have enough patients around his age to form a group. His counselor was suspose to be working with him but nothing has come from it. Things at school have not improved. He has no friends. One boy will be his so called friend if none of the other kids know it.

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I have a 8 year old girl and am in the same boat. I try role playing with her all the time but because I am mom and she has ODD too she does not listen to me as much. It is always the hard struggle finding friends and I have noticed of her few the ones she played with are on the bratty side and she is easily manipulated, another concern.

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My 7 yo. ds has ADHD/anxiety. He does have friends, but I worry about him "annoying" other kids at times. His school is small so we try and get him involved in other activities that introduce him to several groups of kids in town. He does boy scouts at a catholic school where we attend church. He does baseball/soccer in our local part of town league, judo somewhere else, etc. This way he doesn't have to just be friends with a small pool of kids from school.

How about a pen pal? I know there are ways to get one. That would be a fun way to communicate with someone via mail and wouldn't have to worry about issues that would arise during a playdate.

I try to have one friend over at a time. One-on-one with some supervision usually works best for us. Get your kid to really have success with one friend at a time. I always have a talk with ds before he goes to play with a friend or to an after-school activity. I let him know what to expect and how he should act, etc. There is only so much I can control and he has to experience failure/success by himself, but I give him a "pep talk" so to speak.

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Ann,

You might see if your school has a "Friendship Club". My 10 year old son went through the same thing. His 3rd grade teacher recommended he try this club. What a difference! Yes, he is still immature compared to the other boys in school, but now he realizes when he has gone to far with it and tries to stop before it is too annoying to the other boys. His 4th grade teacher has been the first to make a comment on the report card that my son gets along and is well liked by his peers. The club is not just for ADD/ADHD students, it may have shy children, bi-lingual children or students that are just not socially ready for their grade. I highly recommend this. If your school doesn't have one, you might suggest to the school psycologist that they get this program started.

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I have a daughte with ADHD as well, She has just turned 13. When she gets a friend she latches on. She does not find several friends. When she finds a friend and does not agree will get mad and back off. We are trying to get her to make more friends but she is very stubborn. I feel that it takes a special person to understand ADHD kids. A friend she has not accepts Audrey but does notice her pacing and other odd behavior. She still sticks by her. But when my daughter makes choices with her it is not always good ones. Quote:

mindiemom said: I have an 11 year old girl with ADHD and would love to hear from parents with girls in this age range. I bought a workbook called Socially ADDept which contains lesson plans for each mini-social skill (e.g. how to enter a group, how to ask questions, etc.). We worked on this together last summer but since then she says she has lots of friends and doesn't want my help on this (pre-adolescent pulling away from mom, no doubt); however, she has yet to mention anyone by name more than once or ask to have anyone come over or visit them, so I know it's still a problem. Check out the book, though--it's clearly written and could even be used by the kids without the parents helping if they were so inclined.

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I'm new here but definetly not the social concerns. I have 2 kids a Daughter 10 and a son 8. Both have ADHD but my daughter has it really severe where the meds are almost useless. My son is lucky in that respect, but of course both of my kiddos have trouble in the social area. They have no trouble making friends but quickly lose them or become someone to avoid because they lack maturity and are not able to pick up on social cues. I'd rather get my teeth drilled than watch my poor kids try to talk to a child who was their friend last year or even 6 months ago and now the kid is trying to distance themselves by ignoring my child or giving them the cold shoulder. What makes it worse is that we live in a rural area in central texas and have no neighbors and my family are all of town. Another thing that doesn't help is that their public school is not that big and most of the kids that go there are either related in some way or know each other because they live in the area. At first I thought I was being paranoid about the other kids not liking my children and thinking that they were "weird". This Thursday confirmed it when we had orientation to meet the teachers. My daughter and myself were walking down the hall when I heard a mother ask her daughter who that cute girl was and it looked like she might be in her grade(meaning my daughter and they were walking right behind us). The little girl just said matter a factly " Oh .....that's So and So, but I don't like her". Her mother then told her that wasn't nice and why did she say that. The little girl said I don't know I just don't like her. I realized then that my child since kinder has been labeled by these kids as "weird", "strange" or just someone not to be liked. School starts this Monday and I have knots in my stomach for my kids. My kids want to have friends so bad to hang out with at school and at home. It breaks my heart because they try so hard. Am I the only one that feels like this. Is there a group in central Texas(Austin, San Marcos area) that kids with ADHD can meet other kids? Just the thought of my kids watching others play together or wanting to join in and can't breaks my heart. Well sorry this is soooo long and I just rattled. I had to vent..................Thanks

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Food addatives can have alot to do with nagative personality traits. My daughter has a past full of tantrums and anger. We recently found out she is sensitive to high fructose corn syrup. Since we have stopped letting her have foods/beverages containing it, which is soooooo many, she is a new person. So much so that she even sees it and wants to stay away from it. HFCS is just one addative that has been know to cause problems. Just a thought.

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My son who just turned 13 has ADHD with severe impulsivity and has never really had even one close friend let alone be accepted in a peer group. Fortuntely, this does not deter him from joining groups, clubs, teams, and it does not deter him from trying to make new friends. He is very active in school with band and choir, and plays multiple sports year 'round. As he matures and grows more independent and social.....I am finding that unfortunately, the damage has already been done in his circle of classmates. He has been labeled, classified and targeted...as the weird kid and he lives a pretty lonely life of no party invitations and no text messages from friends. Even as he improves upon his social and organizational skills and becomes more in control of his impulses, these are not things that 13 and 14 year old children seem to notice or even care about . So that leaves me to wonder how a child in this situation can ever truly make friends without moving to another school. Non ADD kids can be cruel sometimes.

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Social Skills can be build up in your child. Help him mantain one or two friendships with children his own age. Whether these are cousins or neighbores. Relationships take work. Talk to him about how his friends like to be treated and ask him how he is treating his friends. Be a reminder and trainer outside of the emotional times and the emotional times will become less and less. Check out my story at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/955233/conquering_adhd_setting_a_boy_free.html?cat=5

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/981364/adhd_changing_a_childs_diet_will_improve.html?page=2&cat=5 God bless you, LoraR

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