I have a daughte with ADHD as well, She has just turned 13. When she gets a friend she latches on. She does not find several friends. When she finds a friend and does not agree will get mad and back off. We are trying to get her to make more friends but she is very stubborn. I feel that it takes a special person to understand ADHD kids. A friend she has not accepts Audrey but does notice her pacing and other odd behavior. She still sticks by her. But when my daughter makes choices with her it is not always good ones. Quote:

mindiemom said: I have an 11 year old girl with ADHD and would love to hear from parents with girls in this age range. I bought a workbook called Socially ADDept which contains lesson plans for each mini-social skill (e.g. how to enter a group, how to ask questions, etc.). We worked on this together last summer but since then she says she has lots of friends and doesn't want my help on this (pre-adolescent pulling away from mom, no doubt); however, she has yet to mention anyone by name more than once or ask to have anyone come over or visit them, so I know it's still a problem. Check out the book, though--it's clearly written and could even be used by the kids without the parents helping if they were so inclined.

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I'm new here but definetly not the social concerns. I have 2 kids a Daughter 10 and a son 8. Both have ADHD but my daughter has it really severe where the meds are almost useless. My son is lucky in that respect, but of course both of my kiddos have trouble in the social area. They have no trouble making friends but quickly lose them or become someone to avoid because they lack maturity and are not able to pick up on social cues. I'd rather get my teeth drilled than watch my poor kids try to talk to a child who was their friend last year or even 6 months ago and now the kid is trying to distance themselves by ignoring my child or giving them the cold shoulder. What makes it worse is that we live in a rural area in central texas and have no neighbors and my family are all of town. Another thing that doesn't help is that their public school is not that big and most of the kids that go there are either related in some way or know each other because they live in the area. At first I thought I was being paranoid about the other kids not liking my children and thinking that they were "weird". This Thursday confirmed it when we had orientation to meet the teachers. My daughter and myself were walking down the hall when I heard a mother ask her daughter who that cute girl was and it looked like she might be in her grade(meaning my daughter and they were walking right behind us). The little girl just said matter a factly " Oh .....that's So and So, but I don't like her". Her mother then told her that wasn't nice and why did she say that. The little girl said I don't know I just don't like her. I realized then that my child since kinder has been labeled by these kids as "weird", "strange" or just someone not to be liked. School starts this Monday and I have knots in my stomach for my kids. My kids want to have friends so bad to hang out with at school and at home. It breaks my heart because they try so hard. Am I the only one that feels like this. Is there a group in central Texas(Austin, San Marcos area) that kids with ADHD can meet other kids? Just the thought of my kids watching others play together or wanting to join in and can't breaks my heart. Well sorry this is soooo long and I just rattled. I had to vent..................Thanks

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Food addatives can have alot to do with nagative personality traits. My daughter has a past full of tantrums and anger. We recently found out she is sensitive to high fructose corn syrup. Since we have stopped letting her have foods/beverages containing it, which is soooooo many, she is a new person. So much so that she even sees it and wants to stay away from it. HFCS is just one addative that has been know to cause problems. Just a thought.

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My son who just turned 13 has ADHD with severe impulsivity and has never really had even one close friend let alone be accepted in a peer group. Fortuntely, this does not deter him from joining groups, clubs, teams, and it does not deter him from trying to make new friends. He is very active in school with band and choir, and plays multiple sports year 'round. As he matures and grows more independent and social.....I am finding that unfortunately, the damage has already been done in his circle of classmates. He has been labeled, classified and targeted...as the weird kid and he lives a pretty lonely life of no party invitations and no text messages from friends. Even as he improves upon his social and organizational skills and becomes more in control of his impulses, these are not things that 13 and 14 year old children seem to notice or even care about . So that leaves me to wonder how a child in this situation can ever truly make friends without moving to another school. Non ADD kids can be cruel sometimes.

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Social Skills can be build up in your child. Help him mantain one or two friendships with children his own age. Whether these are cousins or neighbores. Relationships take work. Talk to him about how his friends like to be treated and ask him how he is treating his friends. Be a reminder and trainer outside of the emotional times and the emotional times will become less and less. Check out my story at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/955233/conquering_adhd_setting_a_boy_free.html?cat=5

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/981364/adhd_changing_a_childs_diet_will_improve.html?page=2&cat=5 God bless you, LoraR

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texisuz , you should really talk to their teachers, don't blame everthing on your kids or the ADHD, if other kids do not allow yours to join in when playing games at school that is bullying. Your kids should not be excluded and there is probably one or two gang leaders/bullies who don't want them playing and other kids are very influenced by bullies. You won't sort this on your own, talk to their teachers and tell them what is happening in the school playground. I have been through this with my 9 year old boy and I was blaming his dyspraxia and his lack of social skills but my own doctor pointed out to me alot of it is just bullying by 1 or 2 in his class and others don't want to be seen playing with him in case they will be the next victim. The school was very supportive and still is. Also watch out for any kid in their class who you think don't have alot of friends, ask your son/daughter to invite them to the cinema some time and maybe a friendship might develop. I was desperate at one stage with my son, I thought he had no friends, but I encouraged him to be friends with one very quite kid and I take them to the cinema and McDonalds now and then and at least he has someone to play with. This year a few more kids play with them. He also joined Karate and it has given him a lot of confidence. It has taken time to get to this stage and I had many many sleepless nights. Don't get disheartened, and don't compare your kids maturity to his/her peers - that will just drive you insane, kids mature in their own way in their own time. Also I have now accepted that my child is slightly different to other kids and always will be and he will never quite 'fit in' but I am grateful that he is now a happy child.

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I have a 10 year old daughter with ADHD. Despite all of the reading and working with behavior therapists from when she was 5, I couldn't help but wonder if my husband and I were awful parents. Then, as our younger daughter's (now age 6) temperment became obvious, it is so clear that so much is internal/physical. We can help as parents, we can parent appropriately for each child, but there are inherent challenges that even the most diligent parent can NOT "fix". My younger daughter is the type that other parent call to have come play because it's "easier" when she is around. Very few families invite my older daughter over. She's emotional, challenging, years behind socially, years ahead intellectually, and can be very difficult during "play dates" and she likes to break rules. I am so scared of the teenage years. I don't want to "overprotect", but I think my older daughter needs a lot more supervision than most kids her age.

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Brenda said: I have a daughte with ADHD as well, She has just turned 13. When she gets a friend she latches on. She does not find several friends. When she finds a friend and does not agree will get mad and back off. We are trying to get her to make more friends but she is very stubborn. I feel that it takes a special person to understand ADHD kids. A friend she has not accepts Audrey but does notice her pacing and other odd behavior. She still sticks by her. But when my daughter makes choices with her it is not always good ones. Quote:

mindiemom said: I have an 11 year old girl with ADHD and would love to hear from parents with girls in this age range. I bought a workbook called Socially ADDept which contains lesson plans for each mini-social skill (e.g. how to enter a group, how to ask questions, etc.). We worked on this together last summer but since then she says she has lots of friends and doesn't want my help on this (pre-adolescent pulling away from mom, no doubt); however, she has yet to mention anyone by name more than once or ask to have anyone come over or visit them, so I know it's still a problem. Check out the book, though--it's clearly written and could even be used by the kids without the parents helping if they were so inclined.

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anne said: Does anyone have suggestions for a helping with learning social skills? My son has ADD - Inattentive Type - and he is very impulsive and does not have many close friends. He tends to fly off the handle and likes to be first and best. I would love to see him have a few really good friends. I think the things he says or the noises he sometimes makes hime hard to get along with. Thanks for your help.

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anne said: Does anyone have suggestions for a helping with learning social skills? My son has ADD - Inattentive Type - and he is very impulsive and does not have many close friends. He tends to fly off the handle and likes to be first and best. I would love to see him have a few really good friends. I think the things he says or the noises he sometimes makes hime hard to get along with. Thanks for your help.

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