I have felt this way and still do sometimes. I decided to medicate my daughter because she was struggling in school and becoming very frustrated. There were many modifications in place for her throughout the years but it got to a point that she really just needed to be able to pay better attention.

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Mommy2kai, I too have read numerous books (over 25 to date), articles, magazines, attend two support groups, etc.

Anyone can write a book on ADD and give their opinion. You need to stick to the scientific research and the experts in ADD ( Biederman, Barkley, Thomas Phelan, Thomas E. Brown, Peter Jensen, to name a few), not one individual giving his personal opinion. The media is generally not a good source of information as they are driven by controversy and ratings, not helpful information. Ritalin has been around a long time, 60 to 70 years and has been tested and researched more than any other psychiatric medication. It is safer than aspirin and has been used in stroke patients and comatose patients (brings them out of a coma sooner) and is given to the astronauts to overcome the drowsiness of the anti-gravity medications.

The most recent research has shown that the medication has no long term effects on height and weight and the other long term effects that have been noted are a DECREASE in drug abuse, auto accidents and breast cancer.

I have never heard that giving medication to your child for ADD is like a death sentence. (although some may believe that, it is not a common belief among the educated and experts in ADD )

Many experts have weighed the costs and risks of using medication or not using medication. The majority of experts and the research have shown that untreated ADD causes much more harm than the use of medication.

Individuals with untreated ADD are at a much greater risk for substance abuse, other psychiatric disorders, twice as likely to be divorced, six times as likely to have an unplanned pregnancy, twice as likely to be fired from a job, have more traffic tickets and auto accidents, just to name a few. The emotional damage done to their self-esteem (being told they are stupid, lazy and bad by others and believing it themselves) causes additional problems especially putting them at risk for depression and other disorders.

Brain scans and scientific research is revealing more about the brain and how medication makes a difference. A good book that covers the explanation of what is going on in the brain and how ADD affects an individual, etc. is "Attention Deficit Disorder: The Unfocused Mind in Children and Adults" by Dr. Thomas E. Brown. I found it to be the best overall book on the subject. He also has a website drthomasebrown.com

I have to run or I would write more.

Elaine

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Thanks to both of you for your info! I haven't read Dr. Brown's book, I will definately have to look for it and check out his website.

I think what has made both my husband and me so hesitant to medicate was a bad experience we had with our former pediatrician. We took our son to her for a check up and to see if she thought he warranted a referral to a psychologist. Instead of giving us a referral, she gave us the brochures for all the ADD medications her office prescribed and said, 'look through these and see which one sounds good to you'. We asked about psychological testing and she basically dismissed it, saying that from what we had told her, it sounded like our son had ADD. We refused to simply pick a medication and she said there was nothing she could do for us then and left the room.

At this point, my husband is not completely against the idea of medication, but only wants to go that route if counseling and behavior techniques don't work. I felt that way at first, but now feel that if our son needs the meds to help him focus and do well in school, then that's what he needs.

Thanks again for the info!

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mommy2kai,

I’m with Elaine (she always has great info), stick with the research. ADHD and medications for ADHD have been studied heavily and continue to be studied heavily.

You do need to be informed on ADHD, but if you stick with the scientific research, you will learn the truth that you need. The other stuff will cloud your thinking to do the best thing that you can do for you child. If you are talking to ‘friends’ about ADHD and getting the negative information you are getting, stop talking to them. If someone hasn’t had a child with ADHD, they can’t understand what you are going through. They don’t know about ADHD, but they will certainly spout off their (uninformed) opinions…that’s for sure. This is a family issue, and your family has to decide what is right for you and your son.

If you and your husband feel you want to try counseling and behavior techniques before medication, it’s your choice, don’t let anyone force you into something that you don’t want to do. If you try these and they work for you son, you have lost nothing…and gained a lot. Counseling can help teach him skills to deal with is anxiety better, which is only a plus. If you find that they are helping in one area but not another, you can always readdress the medication at that time to work on the untreated symptoms. At that point, you will have a different perspective on medication and you won’t feel the guilt of not trying the counseling and behavior techniques first.

My son (9yrs) is on Adderall and he doing well. We have not ‘lost’ him. He still plays the piano, draws, is active, and friendly…he’s himself….just more focused and his emotions are more in check. It was a concern of ours as well and we made it clear to our doctor that we won’t accept that side effect. Our doctor explained that if a child is ‘lost’, then that’s not the right kind of medication and/or not the right dose. You have to try different medications and doses until you find the one that works for your child, when you are ready.

Good Luck!

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Thanks!

I think the mistake that my husband and I made in our research was at first we were only reading the 'horror' stories of ADHD. When I now go back and look at some of the websites I was reading before our son was diagnosed (in the 'does he have it?' stage), it seems that a lot of people were dealing with children who had gone undiagnosed for a very long period of time. Also, when they were diagnosed, the diagnosis was not only ADHD, but also bi-polar disorder, Asperger's and other mental and developmental disorders. Re-reading the information presented on some of these sites, it now seems to me that a lot of parents are frustrated because the meds their children were given to treat the ADHD was not treating their other conditions as well.

Also, I found that a lot of parents were giving up on meds after only trying one, and if it didn't work, they then jumped on the anti-meds bandwagon.

Obviously how we choose to treat our child's ADHD is unique to each of us, but I'm seeing now that there is a lot of fear-mongering out there that keeps perpetuating the idea that ADHD meds are dangerous and under-studied. I'm glad that I'm finding more scientific, fact-based information.

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Hi! I was in your place not too long ago. I also have a 7 year old son. I have known that he had ADHD since he was 3 years old. It took me until the age of 6 for me to come to terms with "labeling him" and I took him to the doctor to get tested. He was tested and put on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist. It was months of waiting with nothing being done and then we moved (we are a military family). I thought I would wait and see how he adjusted to the new school since change is very hard for him to deal with. The beginning of this year, we started with the same problems, disrupting class, talking, getting out of seat, being loud, not finishing work, not following directions, etc. I finally decided to take him to a pediatrician and try medication. My husband was against medication at first, but after we talked alot about it, he was willing to try it. I was pleasantly suprised to find out the pediatrician had a daughter with ADHD. She completely understood my frustrations and immediately talked to me about medication. At first I had a HUGE guilt trip about giving him medication and still havent told friends and relatives that he is on meds. I finally heard from a friend that has a son with ADHD that it is like having a child with seizures....would you give them seizure medications? That is a chemical disorder in the brain too. No one ever questions that or any other brain disorder, but scoff at ADHD when it is a proven chemical imbalance in the brain. That made sense to me! We tried Adderall XR for 2 months, but I wasnt sure that was really working for him. He was more focused, but more frustrated and angry. The teacher said she didnt notice a difference (I didnt tell her about the meds until parent/teacher conferences) so I talked to the doctor about trying Strattera since it was a nonstimulant and in his system 24/7 instead of the up and downs of Adderall. We are on week 4 of Strattera, but are not seeing much improvement, so we may have to adjust the dosage. It feels like a trial and error roller coaster, but I am convinced when we find the right medication, we will all be a happier family. I hope that you know that you are doing what is best for him and that you are a wonderful mother for trying to help with his ADHD!

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I totally understand your confusion... There is a whole trend of homeopathic treatments for ADHD. The stigma seems to be... "if you are a good parent, you won't medicate your child - you will switch diet, add herb/vitamin supplements, try counseling, turn your home schedule around... etc. etc.". I want to be careful not to bad mouth this line of thinking, because all parents try to do what is best for their children and I am sure some people can find success with that...

For us, though... The stress I felt just thinking about the above was giving ME a nervous break down. It came down to... Do I want to roll the dice with my 9 year old who is losing ground in school and losing confidence in his ability to succeed in the class room? Stimulant medication is not the flash in the pan trend that it was accused of being 15 - 20 years ago. There has been allot of research and finessing of the treatments. It is watchdogged and you are in the hands of certified professionals.

I got so worried about, what will messing with diet and herbs etc might do... which is not so carefully watched? I think at the worst, we could end up sinking allot of money into something that has not been proven to work and at the same time continue to lose time. At the best, with allot of time consuming energy and time we might get our son to learn how to counteract his own inclinations. (More easily done with an adult, I'm sure).

The food for thought part??? Welp, I have to say in the last few weeks of being on meds... rather than "losing our son to medication", I feel like we have FOUND HIM. He has allot of interesting things to say and share that he simply could not articulate before - because he couldn't organize his words enough. So, although I can still see that we need to do some tweaking still, I feel like we are on the right path for us!

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My son was diagnosed with ADHD in 2nd grade, however, I was asking the pediatritian about evaluation when he was 3! I have not "lost" a son due to meds, but gained one with more confidence, responsibility, and ability to control his impulses. We tried behavior management first, however, he is so very hyperactive and impulsive, there were still problems at school and I feared for his safety in decision making. He started with Adderoll and it was a miracle! His grades improved, homework was no longer a crying session for both of us. He had friends and liked going to school. Calls from the school office ended. He is now taking Focalin and Strattera. He has a tendecny to metabolize 12 hour meds in 7 hours. He is still doing quite well. He is 12 years old and playing soccer and the trumpet ( he couldn't pay attention to participate before) he is doing well in school and can stay at home by himself. We have a behavior plan for him at school and at home so he knows exactly what is expected of him. We have lists posted on walls so we don't have to nag about daily routines, we just say " check your list" . My husband was very much against medication, but is now the one who asks about dosages and correct meds. ADHD is a family disease...it affects everyone in the family and we all have to work together with communications with each other and behavior management. It can be done, so don't give up.

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I typed a lengthy reply to this post and then proceeded to lose it. My son, M, was diagnosed as having ADHD, Combined type at the end of 1st grade (7 yrs old) We had the evaluation performed by a Neuropsychologist , it took place at his school, and the evaluation included classroom observation (very telling) and testing. The fact was that M was primarily having trouble in the classroom. He's an only child so I wasn't sure whether or not it was normal to tell a first grader to brush their teeth 4 times before they did it. I was devastated by the diagnosis and began reading about ADHD and treatments. In August we met with M's pediatrician and discussed medication. He began taking 18 mg of Concerta . The first night, he was awake until 1 or 2 am. I cried all the next day (maybe two or three ) and wondered what in the world I was doing to my child. Within 2 weeks or so his sleeping was better, 9 or so hours per night (he'd always been a good sleeper so this was still distressing to me) The medication clearly made a positive difference in his ability to pay attention, stay on task, etc. The most persuasive argument FOR medication came from M himself. I asked him to compare 1st and 2nd grades in terms of the learning experience. He told me "In 1st grade I felt there was no hope, I couldn't do anything. In 2nd grade I felt hopeful".

I wonder if as adults without ADD (though I think I'm on the spectrum just not diagnosable) we can imagine what life is like for a child who has it. I saw my 1st grader feeling badly about himself. He thought he was stupid (this from a child with a verbal IQ of 130) he was so easily frustrated, he felt every physical and emotional pain so deeply (somatization). As hard as it was starting him on medication, it might have broken my heart, and maybe his, if we hadn't. M's 5th grade teacher wrote: "M arrivers every morning with a smile on his face and an enthusiasm for the day ahead....... he relishes the new opportunites offered in Middle School . M is a kind, funny and curious soul with a great sensitivity for others. He has a solid core of friends who respect him for his honesty, generosity and sense of humor". He is clealy thriving emotionally and academically.

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YOU CAN ORDER THE DVD AS WELL PLEASE SEE IT AND PASS IT DOWN Quote:

mommy2kai said: Thanks to both of you for your info! I haven't read Dr. Brown's book, I will definately have to look for it and check out his website.

I think what has made both my husband and me so hesitant to medicate was a bad experience we had with our former pediatrician. We took our son to her for a check up and to see if she thought he warranted a referral to a psychologist. Instead of giving us a referral, she gave us the brochures for all the ADD medications her office prescribed and said, 'look through these and see which one sounds good to you'. We asked about psychological testing and she basically dismissed it, saying that from what we had told her, it sounded like our son had ADD. We refused to simply pick a medication and she said there was nothing she could do for us then and left the room.

At this point, my husband is not completely against the idea of medication, but only wants to go that route if counseling and behavior techniques don't work. I felt that way at first, but now feel that if our son needs the meds to help him focus and do well in school, then that's what he needs.

Thanks again for the info!

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angelkisses101 said: YOU CAN ORDER THE DVD AS WELL PLEASE SEE IT AND PASS IT DOWN Quote:

mommy2kai said: Thanks to both of you for your info! I haven't read Dr. Brown's book, I will definately have to look for it and check out his website.

I think what has made both my husband and me so hesitant to medicate was a bad experience we had with our former pediatrician. We took our son to her for a check up and to see if she thought he warranted a referral to a psychologist. Instead of giving us a referral, she gave us the brochures for all the ADD medications her office prescribed and said, 'look through these and see which one sounds good to you'. We asked about psychological testing and she basically dismissed it, saying that from what we had told her, it sounded like our son had ADD. We refused to simply pick a medication and she said there was nothing she could do for us then and left the room.

At this point, my husband is not completely against the idea of medication, but only wants to go that route if counseling and behavior techniques don't work. I felt that way at first, but now feel that if our son needs the meds to help him focus and do well in school, then that's what he needs.

Thanks again for the info!

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angelkisses101 said:

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angelkisses101 said: YOU CAN ORDER THE DVD AS WELL PLEASE SEE IT AND PASS IT DOWN Quote:

mommy2kai said: Thanks to both of you for your info! I haven't read Dr. Brown's book, I will definately have to look for it and check out his website.

I think what has made both my husband and me so hesitant to medicate was a bad experience we had with our former pediatrician. We took our son to her for a check up and to see if she thought he warranted a referral to a psychologist. Instead of giving us a referral, she gave us the brochures for all the ADD medications her office prescribed and said, 'look through these and see which one sounds good to you'. We asked about psychological testing and she basically dismissed it, saying that from what we had told her, it sounded like our son had ADD. We refused to simply pick a medication and she said there was nothing she could do for us then and left the room.

At this point, my husband is not completely against the idea of medication, but only wants to go that route if counseling and behavior techniques don't work. I felt that way at first, but now feel that if our son needs the meds to help him focus and do well in school, then that's what he needs.

Thanks again for the info!

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Wow! Ok, I finally found my way back to the boards. When they switched, I thought this thread had been lost. I'm glad to see that it hasn't been. I'm even more glad to see that there are so many other parents who are in the same boat. Well, not glad, but it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one going through this.

So, for an update. My son Kai has been seeing a child psychologist weekly since November. I think the counseling has been good for him in that he's opening up more to both my husband and me about the problems that he's having at school. This school year has been rough for him. He had a bathroom accident towards the beginning of the school year which set off a never ending circle of anxiety for him. He had an accident and the kids teased him. Then he would get so afraid of having another accident at school, that he would try to hold it all day and then guess what? Have an accident! Which would cause the kids to tease him and bully him, which would cause more accidents. The counseling has helped him tremendously with his anxiety, and fingers crossed, the bathroom accidents are over. But, they still happen at home, I think because he is hyperfocusing on TV or a video game, so we've set time limits on both, and have to constantly remind him to go to the bathroom. The doctor has checked him out and his tummy is ok, so it's nothing medical.

My husband is finally coming around on the idea of medication. Kai really hasn't made much improvement in school, and at home he has started to misbehave- talking back, name calling, etc. I know that some of this is simply a 7-year old boy trying to push his limits (and mine!), but up until now, he's never been like this. The psychologist recommended either Concerta or Adderall, so I'm going to research the two and see what I think might work best for him and see what the doctor recommends.

As far as homeopathic treatment, I have some doubts. I do know that we are trying to get Kai to be more physically active and he wants to take either fencing or karate lessons. I think either one would help him with focusing and concentration. And I'm trying to get more veggies in him, just because it's healthy.

So, I will keep you all updated on Kai's progress. And I'm so happy to read about so many who are doing well with Adderall!

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My son, Nick, has tried all of the meds with the exception of Vyvanse which is newer and Strattera which tends to cause emotional outbursts and since we already have that we didn't want to take that chance. We have done Concerta (up to 72mg), Adderall, Ritalin LA, etc. But we finally started him on the Daytrana patch - 30 mg's and it's been working great for over a year now. You can put it on the child before they ever wake up (maybe 30 minutes to an hour before) and take it off around 5PM and there isn't the extreme crash that we normally saw with the pills we took before. As an added bonus, it really seems to help him get out of bed in the morning provided I it on him at least 30 minutes before he gets up! The medication is also about half the price of the other ADD meds we have tried! Because the med comes in a patch form you don't have to take the higher dosage because the stomach acids don't eat away half the strength as they do when swallowing a pill and it is also a time released med like many of the pills. It's been working great. Be aware, we had to ask for this medication (my niece takes 60 mg's a day and my sister told us about it - she's a nurse) as many pharmacists and doctors aren't even aware of it. If you are seeing a psychologist for med management like we do they know all about it and seem to like the medication. Just a thought!

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Janna, I was just thinking about asking our psych. about Daytrana. Kai, like most kids, has kind of a hard time swallowing pills, so a patch might be just the thing. I'll ask her and see what she says. Is the patch pretty sturdy? Does it stay on all day without too much trouble? Have you seen any skin irritations at the patch site? I ask because my husband uses a duralgesic patch for pain management, and he often gets a rash from either the patch or the adhesive.

Oh, and interestingly enough, I found out that one of the other sites that I visited when I was first trying to figure this whole ADD thing out, is run by the Church of Scientology. That would sure explain why they were so radically anti-medication.

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I too resisted the diagnosis and recomendation for my son. He was hard to handle from age two. I have five children and I thought he was just really active and I was getting old. I had him repeat kindergarten because I thought maybe maturity would help him. His birthday is late in September. I had him tested when he was 7 and in the first grade. He was tested by a respected educational psychologist and given the diagnosis of adhd,anxiety,and dyslexia. We resisted medication for 6 months and the day my little boy said he wanted to kill himself I knew I had to do something -- we put him on the smallest dose of ritalin. He was able to attend to what was going on in the classroom. He stopped talking about killing himself. The down side was his lack of eating and ocasional head aches. He is 12 now and every year manageing him is a full time job. He is an intelligent,kind, funny,sensitive child. Our latest hurdal has been the anxiety problem. The psychiatrist wanted us to medicate him but we are not willing to do that at this time. One of our family members has to be with him at all times (excluding school) and that is how we are handling things now. We are hoping he will grow out of this stage. My point in all this; is that every child is a unique situation and you have to choose the best path for him or her depending on what is going on with them at the time. I pray for my son and that I make the best decision for him. Tucker

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WOw, how I can relate to your feelings surrounding the ADD diagnosis and whether to medicate your child. I have a now 12 year old son who I have recently finally decided to try on medication to help the symptoms of ADHD. I struggled with the decision for many years because I have known he has ADHD since he was about 5 years old. I am a guidance counselor as well as a nurse so one may think my professional knowledge of medication and disorders would be a bonus to knowing to what to do in this case, but it is still a VERY difficult decision when it comes to YOUR own child. I can tell you that since trying the medication for my son, he has shown some very important improvements in homework completion, time on task, focusing and he has even said he feels he can finally understand what the teachers are saying to him!! That was a huge eye opener for me because before I started him on medication, he was very against it. He didn't think there was anything wrong with him or that he had a problem with inattention. For my son it took going on medication to find out that he wasn't performing his best and that with the medication, he can be a more successful student! Please realize that every child's response to medication is different and there are many medications available for the symptoms of ADHD. It is also important to realize that medication is only one "TOOL" in helping the symptoms of ADHD and it should be used along with a good behavioral reinforcement program both at school and at home. I hope these comments have helped and I wish everyone out there with children that struggle in school, the absolute best in there quest for success!! Quote:

mommy2kai said: My 7-year old son was recently tested and diagnosed as having ADD-inattentive. His psychologist also feels that he has some mild anxiety issues, which she feels can be helped with counseling. She has recommended medication to help with the ADD.

I have done so much research, read so many books, and still I feel confused. I've heard so many people say that ADD is NOT a disease, is not a chemical imbalance and that if a parent puts their child on medication, they are basically giving their child a death sentence. It seems there are radicals on both sides of the issue, and I'm feeling frustrated that I can't make a decision for my son.

My husband is not helping because he only wants to medicate our son as a last resort, because he doesn't want to 'lose' our son.

Has anyone else felt this way? What helped you to decide the method of treatment you chose?

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Add is not with the hipper disorde. sorry about the spelling, as you can see I also have ADD, mine has a lot to do with spelling and understanding formats. I have come a long way but with a lot of pratices. it can be done. Now ADHD is with moveing around and you can not sit down in one spot. Is your son ADD or ADHD. With ADD you can get stronger by doing a lot of reading out loud. Something that will chalange your brain. just keeping the brain stimulated will help your son. He will get better. I can't spell but I am working on it I keep a dictionary with me. I just don't have one now sorry. He will get better I Promise. I graduated high school and college. It is possible for your son to. wenonahollis@yahoo.com and it is a inbalance in the brain.

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At first I was confused and overwhelmed. That is typical with new diagnosis because we are looking for something to fix it. A pill alone won't do it, though you often realize that the only way to "take the edge off" is by medication. Medication does not mean that you have to drug the child until he is not himself. Medication, handled properly, actually allows the real child to come through. As an anecdote, my grandson one day confessed to me with a sad face "I can't concentrate". It bothered him. That was before medication. Since, his concentration has improved, though no amount of medication will cure it completely. I have found that a multi-modal approach is the best...a combination of behavior modification and therapy, careful routine, educational help and medication generally seems to work best. You have to attack it from various angles. And remember, this problem is a killer to a child's self-esteem, so don't forget to boost that from time to time. As a volunteer with CHADD, I must remind you that I do not endorse any specific medication or treatment. As a grandparent of seven children, four of which are ADD/ADHD diagnosed (and live with me), I only know what has worked (somewhat) with me. We still struggle daily. Part of it is learning how to manage yourself as a parent - where to find the patience to go on. That is the real challenge. Good luck to you!

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Both my son & I have been diagnosed with ADHD this year. I've immersed myself in information to try to learn how to manage things, but I feel like I'm failing more than succeeding. It's been suggested to me that since I, too, have ADHD, that my son would be better off with someone else caring for him (ouch!) and I need to be careful that I don't get reported to Child Welfare!! I know that this is not likely but it sure does play over & over again in my head. Any advice out there?...

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