Good to see we've come so far in treatment/diagnosis/parenting. If we all look at these posts its easy to see we're a frustrated community of parents who aren't really sure if we're heading in the right direction. Obviously the medical arena is failing us as well. Good luck to you all as we continue to look for answers and serve as an advocate for our kids.

Quote

Our son is 9 years old and has all the symptoms of ADHD and possibly ODD. We have known this for years now-we have tried everything in the books with consequences, rewards, medication (concerta-two different dosages) and we are presently meeting with a therapists to find out what else to do next week. Nothing is working. Everyday he gets in trouble at school for shouting out or arguing with his teachers with his opinion and he gets punished but he doesn't seem to care what gets taken away from him because he will continue the behaviors and not work towards getting them back. We have tried rewarding him for small good things he is doing to show him he can earn stuff back but doesn't matter-we provide him with everything he needs and could possibly ever want but we don't feel the love in return from him. He has a high IQ but his grades are declining simply because he is rushing through his work and not reading all the directions. The teachers are aware of his condition but seem to have lost patience and respect for him. What do we do???? We love him so much but he is making our home a sad to place to be in. The concerta we had him on made him lose a lot of weight (even though we forced him to eat and snack throughout the day) and it also made him sleepwalk, feel bugs crawling on him, and have a hard time sleeping. Now that he has been off of it he has put on weight and looks much healthier. Any suggestions about any other meds such as adderall since it is a non-stimulant? Please give us your input!

Quote

I happened upon this site while doing research for my own family. My 12 yr old son has ADHD and its horrible. He has been thru tons of stuff-death, my divorce, dating, a new stepfather who was a total disiciplinary and now we are in the phase where he has to have the last word everytime. Always has to be right, always makes his presence and feelings known. Very noisy. Backtalking, and now cursing me and my oldest daughter who has just returned home from foster care. He doesn't like men and listens good enough around them until he learns how to push their buttons. This is what happened with my ex-boyfriend/kids stepdad. Spanking seems to make it worse and I talked with therapist and she confronted him and all he did was blame everyone else involved. I feel like a very bad parent. He has really good days even without medicine and really horrible days where all I feel like I do is yell at him. I know thats bad but I am a single, disabled mom of 3 kids-ages 14,12, and 11 mos. I know he is smart and not applying himself as I have been told. He is so funny and lovable too. He is also a mamas boy since dad skipped out and was never around anyway. He has been physically, mentally, emotionally abused by his father along with me and my oldest daughter. But my son is scaring the baby to death with these outbursts and yelling fits of rage. I have even had him attack or intimidate me and my oldest and others when we supposedly "provoked" him. This is what his grandma said. But she gets the good kid and I get the devil. I hardly see how telling him "No!" or "Stop!" or "Listen" is provoking him. I even explain things to him but it never fails. And if someone at school upsets him we catch hell at home because he takes it all out on us. How do you deal with these problems? And how do you create a Rules and Chores Chart that is fair to all involved. Because right now I have been doing it all alone and rarely if either or the two oldest ask to help. It seems the less I have the more they want and we don't even have cable or tv. We have a computer and internet, 2 phones, a vehicle, a little money, and DVDs and VHS and a stereo. What am I doing wrong with this kid? I tell both kids to stop arguing because it escalates to the physical or close to it and I get referee. When I tell them to stop in a stern voice I get ignored. Help me please. I don't know what else to do but I have defiantely gotten rid of the Playstation 2 and games because all he wanted were the R ones like Grand Theft and Call of Duty and such. Am I raising another Hannibal Lecter? Pray for me. God Bless.

Quote

Quote:

marydel said: I need help. I have two children ages 4 and 5 and my daughter, the 5 year old, is possibly ADHD and nothing works for her with discipline. I feel like I am going crazy. We go places and she is wild and defient. She destroys things sometimes. Always tormenting her brother. Time outs do not work, taking things away does not, yelling of course does not work. I just do not know what to do. It just seems her behavior gets worse as the day goes on. I love her with all of my heart but I feel like I tell her No all the time, so then I feel bad and slack a bit. Which I know is a no no. So if anyone has any ideas or recommend books please tell me. My ears are open.

Quote

My 7 year old son was labeled ADHD almost two years ago and we have had a rough road. To add to the ADHD, during the testing, he was found to have a hearing loss and now wears hearing aids.

We tried the traditions meds but only to have more difficult problems. His behavior was worse on the meds. We decided to go off the meds and find a different route. I did research on alternative meds but was too scared to try those after our experience with the tradition meds.

Then I was given a book to read. There was a chapter about the ADHD diet and 10 things (foods) to avoid with ADHD children. It was worth a try. We went off milk, yellow foods, etc. This helped with the hyper part but not focusing. It has been a year and half and things are going well. If we give him something that he should not have to eat, he will react in 10 - 30 minutes. Milk takes almost two days to get out of his systems.

Last week we started taking omega 3s in the am and magnesium (powder form - 3/4 tsp) in the pm. Oh my, we have a different child. He does not argue, talk back, throw a tantrum, act out, etc. But he still has his wonderful personality. Not every day is perfect. But so far, so good.

Hope this helps.

Quote

AWESOME. I have the same story. We use a vitamen that helps with focus and calming and ammun system. Check it out: help4adhd.tyh.us This has helped my so sooooo much. You can read my story at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/955233/conquering_adhd_setting_a_boy_free.html?cat=5

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/981364/adhd_changing_a_childs_diet_will_improve.html?page=2&cat=5

it is so encouraging to hear of others finding help as well. We struggled so many years. It is so great to see my son truely developing into a healthy preteen. LoraR

Quote

My name is Amy and I live in Canada. I have a 12 year old son with ADHD, and he has the BIGGEST attitude and is often disrespectful and demanding, and selfish. I have been called a b**, I have been told to P* off and its been going on for awhile. He knows the rules, automatic early bedtime if he speaks rudely, 1 day tacked on for every rude remark and most recently, I am intruding the idea of him writing an essay. He is so smart and corny as it sounds, I make him say it lol. Unfortunately outings are impossible as he behaves like a three year old in public, with screaming at me, and all to often I just end up walking out the door with 80 lbs of attitude on my back! Literally, there were times I have had to carry him out. , he is far to verbally agressive and pushy for my liking and unfortunately it is becoming chronic, and I am led to think maybe could his attitude be a result of puberty and stress? And my own reactions perhaps? Insight would be helpful!

Quote

Like so many of the parents' posts here, I have to agree that my son does NOT respond productively to any king of punishments or disciplines that use loss of privelage, etc.

What does seem to work is a lot of Do-overs. When there's hitting, I take him by the hand gently, get down low, and ask him to identify why he hit the other child. Sometimes he's angry and can't express it, so I try to help him find the words. Then I take a second to empathize - one line, minimal emotion ie: (Oh, ok, I can see why that would be frustrating) and then I ask him what the proper way is to respond. Often times, he just didn't know the answer, and I'm relieved that I was tender in that moment, because it could have been a great learning moment lost.

I do a lot a lot a lot of do-overs like that for everthing. We re-walk the grocery isle that he just ran down, we re-load the car with the things that were just carelessly thrown in, and we re-write the word that was sloppily jotted down on "Final Draft". But I do these things with him as his personal support coach, not as a dictating mother. It's TOUGH and it's true that I get resistance, but once it's done-over, we move on, and he is not punished and knows I am not bitter, and I think he feels emotionally supported.

This is not a perfect answer: I still get resistance and arguments etc. but they are well supported now, and I can parent my child with ADHD with a clear concience.

Quote

Hi Skarie, I know you are facing a lot of problems and I think your daughter doesn't need a doctor/ medical treatment. She needs a supporting, loving and caring mother. I think you should spend a lot of time with her and let her understand that her mother loves him. I hope everything will be alright. Stella

Quote

Try website: celebratecalm.com

and sign up for newsletters. I don't have $$ for the CD's but if you do, they sound pretty good based on info from newsletters. This Kirk Martin and his son have the most wonderful ideas to try with your child/ren. I have been using some of his suggestions for the past, let's see, about 4-6 months now and many of them work. For me as well. I find I am sometimes a too demanding parent with my 16 (almost 17) year-old son. He has his own ideas, even if not quite right; his own choices to make and HIS OWN MENTORS. May not be the perfect suggestion, but try it. A lot of things in newsletters are taken from his son's perspective and how he reacts, hears, 'reads' things. Try it. It might even help your marriage, your parenting, even your own lifestyle/self in how you deal with you and your life. Good luck. It is not easier even without ADHD during the tween and teen years for any parent and, personally, any parent who says it is is LYING!

Quote

Hi, Discipline is a main study subject for the children. If they are not live in discipline from childhood then may be their future life will spoil. We can say the displine is the base line of a child.

Snoreta

<a href="http://adult.talkingdating.com">Adult Dating</a>

Quote

Quote:

HeidiHarpestad said: I have a son who will be turning 18 in may. He has gone from someone I loved to someone I don't really like very much. He has become disrespectful in an obnoxious way. In April of last year we finally found a great ADD-ADHD doctor. After time spent with this doctor he made our son give up all red food dye. In June he had a bad episode with drinking and this doctor also made him give up all alcohol. He now thinks we are out to rune his life and is not afraid to let us know. His grades in grade 12 had been slipping and we made him give up his full time job. Again bad us for wrecking his life. We pay his truck payments, cell phone, and fuel and expect help around the farm in return. Can someone please help???

Quote

The name says it all!!! Me and my children; ADD'er and my typical's alike. James Lehman is a God send for me and all of my kids. Now if I could just pin down my husband and get him to listen to the CD's. I baught the kit over two years ago and it sat on my book self. After a huge battle with my son I sat frustrated and decided that I had to do something. Then I remembered about this program that I already had. I pulled it out that night and started the program and OH MY GOD!!!! Thank you Thank you!!! Our fights are cut more than in half and I have only been using it for a couple of months. Attitude about homework, non existant. Everything has improved and the techniques work so well on him a twelve yaer old as well as my typical children who are 7,5 and 4. I would highly recomend anyone yes even you with an eighteen year old to get this program. It is proven everyday in my life. My son still has ADD but he comes without the fight!!! I love this program and it is all on CD's that you can listen to in the car on your way to work. A little bit of work book stuff but I have my life back. I tell everyone about this because for so long I wished someone would lead me to an answer and this is it. May God bless you all with the same results that I have had. Let me know if anyone else has tried this program and if you try it I would love to hear what you think

Quote

My 12 year old son is ADHD/ODD, but the defiance only shows up at home. Lately, he has not been taking no for an answer. He always demands a reason why I say no. Last night was the last straw when he wanted a friend to come over for a sleep over after a skating party. I said no and then he asked why. I told him that 'no" was a good enough reason and to accept it. He then tried to bargain with me and ask if the friend could come over just for a little bit. My husband has a nasty head cold and again I said no. Also because it was 7:15 at night. I know that he and his friend had discussed this before coming to me, but he just won't take no for an answer. I told him that maybe on Sunday he would be able to get together with his friend, but that wasn't good enough. He kept trying to make bargains and kept telling me that all of the kids in his school tell him that I am really strict, like that was going to break me. I can be very stubborn and I know that my son has gotten this from me, but I need help. This morning I came up with a few extra chores, some of mine, for him to do because of his behavior last night. We'll see how this works. Punishing, taking things away, does not do anything so we are trying this. Every time he refuses to take no for an answer or is defiant about something, he will get housework added. If anybody has any other suggestions , please let me know.

Quote

I highly recommend "Parenting Children with ADHD" by Vincent Monastra. It's the best book on the subject I've read so far. (I'm a psychologist and parent of kids with ADHD.) Good luck!

Quote