I have went through this. My husband and I have decided that if they cannot accept our child for who he is that is their problem. I have argued until I was blue about adhd/asd. My family look at me like I am bad parent (not all, but most of the family) some say let him be a kid leave him alone or if I don't do anything i am bad parent. I have tried to explain to them, but they will not listen. If it gets bad now we leave. We don't invite them to our home because all they would do is judge us and I am sick of it. My mother understands, but not my father and I have gotten into big arguments with him about it. I still go over and see them and I love them both dearly, but I will never apologize to my father on how I feel about my son and the problems my son has. I have tried to tell him about him and explain it the best way I know how, but he will not listen. I just wanted to let you know you are not the only one out there that have this problem with there families. Just remember you have a great kid and if they don't want to see that then their loss.

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Ask your dad if he has ever heard of these people: Alexander Graham Bell,Col."Pappy" Boyington, Harry Belefonte, Dustin Hoffman, Bill Cosby, Winston Churchill, Andrew Carnegie,Kirk Dougals,Thomas Edison,Salvador Dali, Malcolm Forbes, Wm. Randolph Hearst, Dwight D Eisenhower, JFK, Abe Lincoln, Robt Kennedy,Eddie Rickenbacker, John D Rockefeller, Issac Newton and well the list goes on. All have ADHD and all have "finished" things (many great things)in their lives. Be supportive to your son and continue to hold up successful icons such as those listed so he doesn't get the subliminal message that he isn't good enough. Keep up the fight. your first worry is the things you can control and that is how your son perceives himself wrapped in ADHD. Either he feels like a special gift or a re-gift. It's up to you. Good Luck.

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I need to copy this list for my husband! I never so many great people had ADHD.

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Other examples of famous people w/ ADD - this month's edition of ADDitude has interview w/ the mothers of Michael Phelps and Ty Pennington. In addition I've heard that Bill Gates won't speak in public because his ADD is bad enough that he can't keep his train of thought long enough to finish a statement.

More to the subject, I'm sorry that your parents are having a hard time excepting your son for who he is. There are many challenges that come with ADD, but my son is so creative and energetic about the things he loves - there is much to be happy about too.

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It's sad when grandparents can't accept any imperfections in a grandchild. In reality, there's no such thing as the perfect grandchild. It's just that some imperfections are less apparent, or considered more acceptable -- such as needing to wear glasses.

The best thing I think you can do is to try and educate the grandparents. They probably do not have a good understanding about what ADD is all about. Maybe you could give them a book about children and ADD to read. If they truly love their grandchild, then I would think they'd be willing to educate themselves about attention deficit disorder. It would help them to become better grandparents to your child, as well as less frustrating to you! I wonder if there is even a book written especially for grandparents. You might try looking through ADDWarehouse.com as they carry a number of books.

Rhonda AD/HD Coach

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It's just really hard for people to understand, I think. Before I had a child with ADHD I had a lot of misconceptions, and I bet a lot of others on this forum did, as well. We, as the main care givers for our children (or grandchildren) are forced to accept it, get educated, etc...whereas other people don't have to. With my child, I keep it private about him taking meds even though they know he is ADHD. Us (his father and I), my son's teachers, doctor, one close friend, and my mother are the only ones that know...becuase there is too much judgement and it's something I do NOT want to deal with on top of all the other stresses having an ADHD child comes with. I love my own parents and are close to them...my mom knows because she is understanding, accepting, but my father (my sons grandfather) is not that way, so I choose to keep him "out of the loop". Again, he knows my son is ADHD but thinks its a problem that the "right kind of parenting" could fix. whatever. You may want to do what I did...I suggested to my father that he read a book about ADHD, so that he could understand where we are coming from...he wouldn't be hearing just from me, but from specialists, doctors, etc...and I think he (and your father, too) would have a better perception on the life of an ADHD child. My other suggestion...Pray...I could not make it through the day with my son if it weren't for my faith, and with GOD, all things are possible...

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kibarra said: It's just really hard for people to understand, I think. Before I had a child with ADHD I had a lot of misconceptions, and I bet a lot of others on this forum did, as well. We, as the main care givers for our children (or grandchildren) are forced to accept it, get educated, etc...whereas other people don't have to. With my child, I keep it private about him taking meds even though they know he is ADHD. Us (his father and I), my son's teachers, doctor, one close friend, and my mother are the only ones that know...becuase there is too much judgement and it's something I do NOT want to deal with on top of all the other stresses having an ADHD child comes with. I love my own parents and are close to them...my mom knows because she is understanding, accepting, but my father (my sons grandfather) is not that way, so I choose to keep him "out of the loop". Again, he knows my son is ADHD but thinks its a problem that the "right kind of parenting" could fix. whatever. You may want to do what I did...I suggested to my father that he read a book about ADHD, so that he could understand where we are coming from...he wouldn't be hearing just from me, but from specialists, doctors, etc...and I think he (and your father, too) would have a better perception on the life of an ADHD child. My other suggestion...Pray...I could not make it through the day with my son if it weren't for my faith, and with GOD, all things are possible...

Well said. My husband's mother has been really helpful as a foster parent who has seen so many things, but my mother is well..ignorant. The only special needs children she understand have down syndrome or are confined to wheel chair! She thinks that ADHD must mean a child is slow or stupid. She says my sons are very smart. I know that, but ADHD means that they come at things differently, and the medication can help them with that superfast processing system that is their brains. I am going to get her some materials that she can read maybe she can try to at least understand.

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