Hi there: just a note of encouragement for you. And some food for thought...

When my son's neurologist diagnosed him with ADD he said that there were good meds and with proper management and attention to his social development, my son would be just fine. When I replied that I did not believe in giving meds to a child, he jumped around his desk, got right in my face and said, "Listen. if I had just told you that your son had diabetes, would you sit there and tell me that you were choosing not to give him medication ? Properly treating your son's condition from day one is as important to his mental health and development as insulin is to a diabetic." I thought he was off his rocker, and ignored his advice.

But after a few years of watching my son sinking into a depression after being bullied and teased by his fellow classmates because he couldn't control his behavior, and ridiculed by his teachers for being disorganized, I came to the conclusion that the doctor was right. My son is still struggling to recover his self esteem from years of being treated as the bad kid, the disruptive child who couldn't complete assignments or find his pencil. He was never picked to play on the baseball team and through elementary school and Jr. high, he was not invited to a single birthday party. These seem like small things, but add them up and they create a very sad life for a child. I would urge you to do some reading about this issue. You, as a parent, have the choice. My question to you is "In 10 years will he thank you for the choices you made for him?" I wish the best for you and your son!!

Quote

I am the opposite. my son was diagnosed at age 4 with adhd with O.D.D. oppositional defiance disorder. I wanted him on medication, his father wouldn't agree. His father didn't have to live with him, but I did. ( we separated at age 2) It was a struggle and I remember telling people I love my son but don't like him. He is now 7 today. It was very difficult living with him and felt at times I was going to go crazy. He was always my troubled child since birth.

The school started contacting me about his behavior and I told them to put it in writing so that I could give it to his father. We had a few meetings and was told that because he couldn't focus he was failing. We had 3 appts. with his doctor before finally his father agreed to try the medicine. He has been on it for 3 months now and boy what a difference.

He cries now because he gets frustrated if he can't get a 100 on his spelling test. (not in school at home the 1st day he gets his spelling list.) He now gets 100's every week and now loves school where before he hated school and got 20's and 40's on his test. The school now raves on my sons behavior and loves him to death because now he can concentrate and not only that he can hold a conversation now that he couldn't do before. And he is so much more loveable.

I am not going to tell u that meds. have changed him completely; they haven't. He still has his bad moments. He now has to Learn the positive behavior and we also reward positive behavior. His father is happy now that we have him on meds. He still doesn't want to see him on them for a long period of time but he likes the New Boy we have!!!!! Never hurts to try it. If u don't like it u can always take him off it. Like his father agreed with a Trial Test. The trail proved to be wonderful in all areas!!!!

Quote

I hear myself giving the same advice to struggling teachers and parents with a child or children with adhd problems. Just so that ya'll won't think I'm just making stuff up, here's a little background on me. I am a 21 year old college student who has been diagnosed with adhd (the predominantly inattentive type) since I was in the 2nd grade. I also am a double major in education and psychology. I am taking a class on child exceptionalities as of the moment and am considering specializing in education of adhd students. With that being said, here is my advice to all parents and teachers with children with adhd. First of all, and I can't state this enough: ORGANIZATION IS KEY TO SUCCESS! Consider a private tutor or recommending one. It helped me considerably. Try to get one that is known for working with children with adhd. I found this to be extremely beneficial to my educational experience, and its was also a great self esteem booster. The next is GET AN IEP (Individualized Education Plan). These are definitely beneficial and will help a lot. Third piece of advice I can give is HAVE YOUR CHILD AND THEIR TEACHER FILL OUT A DAILY PROGRESS REPORT. It is simple and easy for everyone. If your child gets any sort of a bad report you can and should do something about it. For me it was taking the telephone away for the night. Don't be scared to do this!

ADHD children are completely capable of doing the same work as other kids, it just takes us a little extra work. This should be expected of the child. By doing this you are teaching your child to gain control over their adhd. ADHD IS NOT AN EXCUSE! If your child can get it under control they can function just like everyone else and if they are on meds could be taken off like I was. I have made the daily progress report on my computer so if anyone would like me to send it to them I can and I think it can be changed to fit the needs of your child. I have found that the daily progress report was the biggest help out of anything in me beginning to control my adhd. I recommend it to anyone! If you want me to email the daily progress report to you just email me at brenda_k101@yahoo.com. I hope this helps!

Quote

If your vision is bad, your mom can point out all the good things you CAN see and make all kinds of accomodations at home and deal with it. At school it becomes a problem when you're standing inches from the board and no one else can see. The teacher has to deal with 25 other students and their learning, their paperwork, they academic, emotional and safety needs. When your mom comes in and says, "All you talk about is the fact my kid can't see and you don't even point out his good points and you don't respect my decision not to get him glasses," you start to wonder if you should just get the glasses.

Get the meds. It may take some fiddling. I had a miserable school experience. It wasn't until I was an adult that I got the meds. I started on one that didn't really work, then one that worked, but I had to take two and it was an up and down thing, then I found one all day pill that was like putting on glasses and everything was clear. It was more than I wanted to pay, but my wife said she would pay anything for the look on my face 30 minutes after that first pill kicked in. I still needed to read some things on getting organized and I definitely need to write everything down (in one place so I don't lose them), but now I can "see" and it's amazing.

Don't deny you or your child the years of productive learning and happiness he can get from this completely safe--tested for something like 40 years--medicine. You won't regret it.

Quote

Hi! I have come across this forum as a great source of help for me. In Norway, they feel that all kids are equal, so there is NO "Special" classes. Instead, Assistants are hired to watch these kids. This goes for Add/adhd. I myself am an assistant to one of these children. I give him looks to help him to remember to sit calmly, to listen to the teacher and help him with his work. With subjects that are taught above his comprehension, I take him to am office to teach him privately and in a quieter setting. I try to keep him with the class as often as possible though. I am shocked to hear how some of you parents are feeling from the teachers.

As for medication, I use to have mixed feelings. But, I have seen how well they have worked for a child in the older years. With medication, he has gained confidence. He has been able to concentrate and work so well.

I will admit though, it is hard at times to not look at these kids as Problem children at times. (Although, we should never say that to parents) ;) But when you as parents have the stress at home, we have about 6 kids out of 50 to deal with. It is amazing how much more work these kids add. (AND stress)

We tackle this mainly with the American system "Webster Stratton". We feel that good communication between home and school is important. (Of course, we do have parents that slack in helping their kids actually do their homework. This is another issue) There should be an agreed set of rules and consequences that are followed through at home and school. Of course, we have parents that feel what happens at school should stay at school. I think this works sometimes, but when a child BITES another kid or adult, then I feel it should be disciplined at home as well. (My opinion) But, we love to praise when opportunity knocks.

I feel I am rambling, but I felt I would share some details from over the ocean. Long story short, kids are kids. No one, especially someone in the education system should give up on one.

Quote

Oh, Lorena. I feel the exact same that you do. My daughter is 5 and has not been diagnosed w/ADD but I am certain she is. She is in Kindergarten and I have been to the Principles office 4 times already. Next week she is facing 3 days Inschool suspension. You would think that since these people have degrees and have most likely been teaching for years that by now they would understand. Its a shame that we should have to go through this. I was very much against medication but I am considering it, my daughter doesnt have any friends because the other children dont understand her. Please keep in touch.

Quote

I am an adult who was diagnoised as a 27 yr old so I did not have the behavior problems as a child that so many parents talk about with children I was more of a day dreamer.

I used to teach 7th grade before becoming a stay at home Mom. One of my students (we will call him Tom) sounds like your son. I had a great time with Tom. I ran a classroom based upon respect and what some would call a really tight ship. I never had the problems that other teachers had with Tom. He listened (or at least was quiet) and tried to do his best.

The problem was he was falling. And falling hard. Every year he missed some. And it was catching up with him quick. He couldn't do the work because his skills were so behind the other kids. He is 20 now. I wonder what he is doing. Did he ever get the help he needs?

I worked with the Special Ed teacher, Guidence, and the Principal. But he was so far behind. When I think of him I want to cry.

I now take medicine. Personally, it has made a world of difference in my life. But I understand why parents are resist medicating kids.

What doesn't your son know that he should know? Check what he can do against your state standards.

I hope all works out well for you. Please find a way to have your son behave. If he can't do it himself. He really needs help. Or he won't have much of a future.

Don't focus on the trouble maker image so much. Work on getting him on the right path. Read every book you can get your hands on. Take him to therapy. Where a dr. can help you come up with a behavior modification plan.

If Tom was in jail right now I wouldn't be surprised. A really sweet kid who if all things stayed the same wouldn't have been able to go to college or trade school.

What can you do if reading and writing is so difficult?

So again I will repeat the message. What is your son suppose to be learning that he isn't....????

Good Luck (I think Moms can change anything if they take the right steps. This forum is a great first step)

Quote