Anni, My husband was 45 when a doctor told him he had ADHD and my husband's response was that he had a good paying job and was very successful at work so he didn't have a problem. The doctor convinced him to try medication and my "unbelieving" husband came back and told the doctor that it was a "miracle" how well he could concentrate at work now. He thought he didn't have a problem until he saw the difference the medication made. He is still amazed at the ability he has to stay super focused at work when he is on medication. I had a similar problem with my vision when I was younger. I didn't know I had a vision problem until I got glasses. What a difference it made but I didn't know I needed them. Are there any areas (besides those that affect you) where he is struggling because of his ADHD? For example, some people with untreated ADHD have trouble keeping a job, relationship problems that also make divorce more likely, self-medicating with cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, problems with money management or binge spending, problems waiting in line, filling out forms, etc. There may be an area of his life where his ADHD is causing a problem for him that he would like to see improve. It's like having a high performance car (whatever your father-in-law likes) that has a lot of power but is unable to run properly because the spark plugs are misfiring. He has a lot of intelligence but is unable to use it all because of the neurotransmitters that are misfiring inappropriately. Just as he needs to change the spark plugs in his high performance car, he needs something (medication and education) to fix the misfiring in his brain. I hope I was able to help you. Elaine

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anni,

If your father-in-law doesn't think that he needs to be 'cured', how do you think that will change should he be diagnosed?

My educated guess is that he would then be a diagnosed ADDer who doesn't think that he needs to be 'cured.'

Even if you were to force-feed him meds, you'd likely notice little change. Hey, being able to focus is great. But I'm the only one who actually notices that I can do challenging logic problems with no brain strain and without going through a pad of paper to make up for a lack of working memory. And even with my newfound abilities to do so, I really don't want to sit through long meetings or do repetitive boring tasks.

The areas where ADD impacts the most often require developing new skills or changing long-term behaviors. While eliminating the interferences do help, it still requires work on the part of the ADDult. Unless it's something that the ADDult wants to change, it's not going to happen.

Nor does every ADDult actually find treatment desirable. Some find the positive qualities of ADD outweigh the negatives. Sometimes the same ADD traits that create problems for them are also the ones that create their biggest strengths, or medication can temper the traits that they do use as strengths as well as the less desirable ones. On the other end of the spectrum are those who need psychological intervention before they're able to cope with ADD treatment. They'd rather live in the fog than have to face the reality of the problems that ADD has created for them.

Currently, the ADDer in my life that I think could use curing the most, has a best friend who's a psychiatric nurse and a 2nd best friend who's an ADD coach. You'd think that between the two of us, he'd be totally fixed by now. The fact is that it'll happen when he's ready. In the meantime, he sends me information on every quack remedy going as an effort to cure me.

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ADHD cannot be cured. It can only be treated. The most common meds used to treat ADHD are stimulants that can effect the rythm of the heart. Although there are other types of meds that can be used. Some are antidepressants like Wellbutrin or antipsychotics or even anticonvulsants. I think that if he is elderly don't fix what my not need fixing especially if he doesn't want it.

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