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|Thread : Scared by daughter's diagnosis|
|8 Oct 2007 @ 9:08 AM|
Sat 5th Jan 2008
Threads: 1 Posts: 0
Scared by daughter's diagnosis
My daughter was just diagnosed a few days ago. I knew as I was reading & rating all those papers - ahuh - she has it. I think I do, too.
I feel scared and don't want her to be treated differently. I want to protect her and part of me wants her to be different. I am sad. I am worried she will be labelled and people's unrealistic visions and ignorance about adhd will have her pegged as this wild child. I wish I could control that!!
This magazine seems amazing! I also joined a group which is for 10 weeks.
I felt at the official diagnosis - they were pushing meds. I really want her to feel better about herself and be able to focus. This could be a huge relief on one hand. I went to the pharmacy and got really scared. I have the trial package - did I mention I was scared?! I don't want the meds to make her feel terrible and those side effects - that freaked me out! I am also a single parent and what if it intensifies things? I am looking forward to my group on Weds. Anyone have advice and can relate - I would be very grateful.
I am going through all kinds of emotions. Thanks.
|8 Oct 2007 @ 8:27 PM Reply # 1|
Thu 3rd Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 14
It's Perfectly Natural
You would be scared and feel the same way if your child had been diagnosed with Diabetes or hearing or vision loss, etc. It is perfectly natural to be afraid of things we don't know about. So learn, we are all learning constantly from DR.s, each other and our children. You have made a great start by getting into a group. Meds are scary at first and they take constant tweeking as your child grows and matures but when you and she see the results I think you will feel better.The first dosing or med may not be the perfect fit but don't give up too soon. Combined with organization and reminders it can open a new world for your child.Please remember that the meds are only a tool they are not a quick or exclusive fix for ADHD. Home and school strategies are needed for you both. This magazine and your group will help you so much.Don't try to fix it all at once take a behavior or issue and work on that.When that is improving add another and so on. If you overwhelm your self with information and problems to fix you'll lock up in confusion. You and your daughter are partners in this and she will be looking to you as to how to react. Show her we are all unique and to be proud of the gifts she has. Revel in your daughters abilities. I got teased every day for my wild curly hair in an era of stick straight long hippie hair so the potential for being teased is always there whether your an ADHDer or not. The trick is to love yourself enough to not live through others views of you but in your view of yourself.She will get that from you. The two of you can do this together, one step at a time with education, compassion and lots and lots and lots of laughter.Good Luck!
|11 Dec 2007 @ 1:48 PM Reply # 2|
Tue 11th Dec 2007
I was scared too!
Hi! I have a 7 year old son with ADHD/ADD. It took me a year after the diagnosis to put him on medication. I felt guilty and like a horrible mother. Finally, I couldnt deal with everything and took him to a new pediatrician. She has a daughter with ADHD and I was SO relieved to find a doctor that understood my pain. We started him on Adderall XR and just going to the pharmacy almost killed me. I cried all the way home. The first day of giving him the medicine was the hardest. I told him that this was a medicine that would help him to concentrate more and not be so frustrated. He was okay with that and it took a few tries to get the hang of swallowing pills. He was almost relieved that I was finally doing something about it! lol After a week I was SO happy that he was finally happy because he could focus, express his feelings with words instead of frustration. I knew that I did the right thing. After 2 months, it stopped working for us and now we are on Strattera to see if that is the right medication for him. Trying to find the right medicine is also hard to deal with, but I know that when we find the right med and dosage, we will all be happier! I hope that this helps
|13 Dec 2007 @ 10:13 AM Reply # 3|
Thu 13th Dec 2007
Threads: 1 Posts: 4
I just felt sick when I got that "Ah-Ha" moment. Filling out the Snap form. I was fooled because my 9 year old is not hyper. However, the constant crying over homework and lack of organization as he gets older was putting us all over the edge. I really needed it spelled out to me. I know he is a bright kid and just couldn't figure out why he couldn't pull it all together. Because we have had major homework struggles for 2 years, I didn't mess around too long before going ahead with the medication. We are doing the Daytrana patch 10 mg. The first day of putting it on, we both cried really hard. It broke my heart.
He is old enough to understand that not everyone has to wear a patch and he feels a stigma of taking something for concentrating. HOWEVER, the first day was like a miracle. He wanted to take it the next day too, because he noticed a big difference. His teacher says he seems happier and more engaged. People that don't know that he is being treated for something keep asking me, "who is this new boy?".
The biggest blessing is I feel like I am on the road back to my REAL son... because he can talk and engage with us about his life. He tells me about his day instead saying... "uh, I don't know", Or "I can't remember", or trying to figure out how to say it and then just say "never mind".
I have noticed that we seem to be back sliding a little and it could be that we will need to adjust his meds. I have heard it isn't just a quick fix all the time. But, for the first time in a couple of years, I feel like we are at least on the right path.
We are also implementing a predictable home schedule for him, which helps him get prepared and organized.
Having a good network of people going through similar issues is what I am looking for now. He has one friend who has taken the meds for a while and is open to talking to him about it.
|5 Jan 2008 @ 10:48 AM Reply # 4|
Sat 5th Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 2
I'm so glad I've joined this site. You ladies are so smart and obviously only want the best for your babies. My 11 year old was diagnosed a few years ago. We did the Nurofeedback therapy ...that was a great intro and help to learning more about her mind and how it works. Then we did a whole summer of massage, yoga etc... all of this also helped us to connect more so with her. By 3rd grade we decided on adding medication. It seemed less scary since learning more about her mind through the other therapies,and I didn't want her self esteem to suffer anymore. That was a HUGE positive change. Now we are struggling with puberty starting. I've decided that there are going to be LOTS of ups and downs forever and that we, as a family, need to learn to expect things to never be dull with her. Hang in there. I always try to remind myself that, although my child is definitely harder to parent than most, things could be a lot worse.
|7 Jan 2008 @ 11:39 AM Reply # 5|
Mon 31st Dec 2007
Story time! (lol...) It is my hope that my own story will help all of you with this recent diagnosis (or not so recent), as my story is from a child's perspective. I am now 32 years old, but my ADD story dates back to 1982 where I began testing for learning disorders. Every year I was tested by a different professional from second grade on until we simply gave up due to the same response: "she has a SLIGHT learning disorder, but its nothing that the school can do for her." ADD was not regularly recognized at that time, unfortunately for me. My grades were mediocre and I had to WORK for every one of those not-so-great grades. I regularly forgot to do assignments, left textbooks at home and had to endure the ridicule of my teachers. One actually asked me if I forgot to wear my underwear that day... In front of the entire class! My self esteem was nonexistant. I was frustrated, fed up and SO much more.
I managed to graduate high school with a 2.8 GPA. I dropped out of college after my first semester. On arriving home, my mom, a family therapist having recently (at that time) focused her practice with ADD/ADHD, told me to answer yes or no to a list of questions. After having answered them all, she said, "It's ADD." I further pursued this diagnosis along further paths with Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Medical Doctors, etc., and began a course of medication. By the time my meds had been tweaked accurately, I was halfway through a program in Therapeutic Massage Therapy. I graduated as an "A" student, with renewed vigor for learning and a newfound sense of self.
After overworking myself in massage therapy and another diagnosis of tendonitis, I pursued other avenues. I am now in the investment industry, where I have been for ten years now. I am the mother of a wonderful five year old boy, who is now being tested for ADHD, which is difficult for me, as we all want our children to not have to go through the same trials and tribulations that we do, however, I am happy that I can help him along the way from all of the struggles and misunderstandingsthat I had to endure as a child. I am planning on not taking the medication route with him yet, although am not adverse to it, if necessary.
I do hope this is somewhat helpful for all of you. It's a difficult thing for any child to have to go through, although the alternative of not knowing what is wrong is much, much worse. I wish you all strength & grace in your paths!
|8 Jan 2008 @ 11:08 PM Reply # 6|
Tue 8th Jan 2008
I SAW A SHOW ON PBS CALLE MEDICATED CHILDREN
PLEASE WATCH IT ON PBSORG FRONTLINE GOOGLE IT IF YOU HAVE TO, IT'S VERY INFORMATIVE MOST INFORMATIVE INFORMATION. Quote:
TinaMomOf3 said: Hi! I have a 7 year old son with ADHD/ADD. It took me a year after the diagnosis to put him on medication. I felt guilty and like a horrible mother. Finally, I couldnt deal with everything and took him to a new pediatrician. She has a daughter with ADHD and I was SO relieved to find a doctor that understood my pain. We started him on Adderall XR and just going to the pharmacy almost killed me. I cried all the way home. The first day of giving him the medicine was the hardest. I told him that this was a medicine that would help him to concentrate more and not be so frustrated. He was okay with that and it took a few tries to get the hang of swallowing pills. He was almost relieved that I was finally doing something about it! lol After a week I was SO happy that he was finally happy because he could focus, express his feelings with words instead of frustration. I knew that I did the right thing. After 2 months, it stopped working for us and now we are on Strattera to see if that is the right medication for him. Trying to find the right medicine is also hard to deal with, but I know that when we find the right med and dosage, we will all be happier! I hope that this helps
|9 Jan 2008 @ 1:02 AM Reply # 7|
Wed 9th Jan 2008
reply to TinaMomof3
I can relate to your story . I have a 7yr old daughter with ADHA and so far we have had her on 4 different meds and different doses to find the right one for her . It seens as soon as she gets better with her moods and attention her body changes and it stops working for her.It is a very hard and fusturating thing for her and me to go through. It took me 6months afer she diagnosed to get her started on a med . And now none seem to work well yet . So I do know how you maybe feeling.But we have a good therepist and a good pedo doctor.So we wont give up
|12 Jan 2008 @ 6:03 PM Reply # 8|
Sat 12th Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 5
My 161/2 year old son was diagnosed at age 6. He started meds at 7. He is still on meds. He has had to make some switches along thru the years but it has helped him tremedously. He will call me from school if he did not take his meds....he recognizes how much it helps. Currently he is taking Adderall 30mg XR - XR stands for extended release. When in elementary school it was not made out to be a big deal at all. He has not had issues with the meds, socially or anything. My son is on the small side - but he has always been. Actually fell off the growth chart at one year of age. We have always pumped him up, held him accountable and loved him. He is still who he is - just a bit calmer. Everyone is very different. Learn all you can. Be strong with nay sayers and anti-med people. Most kids do really well on meds - other forms of treatment work for some. It has been a blessiing to have him "labeled" as learning disabled because of his ADHD. He has had so much help and support. It was very important to both his Dad and I when he went into high school. He is doing really well. Good luck!
|14 Jan 2008 @ 12:38 PM Reply # 9|
Mon 14th Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 1
She'll go cruising!
Hey, I hope things are going better for you now, since it's been a little while since your daughter's diagnosis. I just ran across your post. My son was diagnosed in the 2nd grade with ADD. He's not hyper - in fact, very quiet and behaves almost TOO well. He struggles with grades and self-esteem. For his social life, I've been planning parties, from sleepovers to pool parties since he was very young. He is now a sophomore and still strugges with friends (especially since his younger brother is very social). But this last Friday he actually didn't come right home after a basketball game (he doesn't play, just hangs out) but went cruising until 12:30 with a friend. I'd never given him a curfew - never had to. To make a long story short and not really dwell on all the details of medication, treatment, etc. (although I could go on and on), I just want you to realize that if you stand by her, involve her in everything you do (yeah, it'll take you way more time and require a lot of patience), it'll be the best self-esteem builder while learning every day tasks. And she'll turn out just as great as you hope. Always use positive reinforcement (ADD/ADHD kids take comments extremely seriously), and when you get impatient and frustrated, go take a shower - cry there. And just realize that you're love and patience will get her cruising too!!!
|25 Jan 2008 @ 4:38 PM Reply # 10|
Fri 25th Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 3
support for just diagnosed
It has been many years now since the first time I heard "she has ADHD" I now have 3 ADD kids and myself with the diagnosis...but the first time I heard it....I received a letter from the school psychologist that said "we have concluded based on our evaluation you should call your doctor to discuss pharmacological intervention" I had filled out the Conner's survey and the teacher had filled one out and I had no idea what else they had done to evaluate her! and they were telling me to medicate her. I went to see my dr. He is usually very cautious with medication and he said that based on her history it wouldn't hurt to try it. I was skeptical and scared but school was so bad and we had tried behavior plans and timers, rewards and staying up all night to get her work done in 1st 2nd, 3rd grade. She was clearly very smart but couldn't pay attention. She went on Ritalin and It was like a miracle!! The teacher described it like a lightbulb went on and stayed on! There was such an amazing transformation in my daughter I could never describe it in words. She became one of the smartest, alertest, most capable kids in the school. She was 10 years old and she recognizes that time in her life as an incredible life changing moment. She is now a Jr. in college. Its a hard decision but if its the right one you won't regret it. It takes monitoring and still takes hard work and effort.
|27 Jan 2008 @ 6:59 PM Reply # 11|
Sun 27th Jan 2008
Not to Fear
I am the sister of a brother with what now would be called Asperger Syndrome, the mother of a grown daughter with Asperger Syndrome, a grandmother of 2 absolutely wonderful grandsons with different disorders, Autism and ADHD. It all seems over-welming at first and you think what did I do wrong? Then as Mothers you say what difference does it make. We will educate ourself about the disorder and find the best road for our child. Husbands on the other hand I found seem to view their children differently than we as mothers do. I have found from any number of conversations that fathers, for the most part, see their children as an extention of themselves. To say my child isn't "perfect" is to say I'm not any good. It generally seems to take Dads a liuttle longer to except the reality, but they come around. I'm here as a long term witness to all of this to say, believe it or not they grow up to be very productive adults. Look around you right now and realize there are MANY people that you work with, or are your neighbors that were learning disabled children. You would be hard pressed to make an accurate quess which ones they are. Remember Einstein was Autistic and didn't speak until he was 3yrs old, CHER is dislecsic, many performers today have attention deffiict disorders. It all works out.
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