I would have him read reports on the issues from actual doctors. If that don't work if you or your daughter go to therapy have him come along.

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My husband has finally realized after four years that our son can't cope on his own. He did have to go to counseling with us to understand that it's not just an act. Its just getting the others in our family to learn that there is a problem.

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let me know if you succeed with your family. my family( except for hand full) definitely don't understand. i have given them brochures on this and for get it and they have seen the difference when he is on meds and off. it is so hard, but i don't give up.

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for 8 years my family life has been in a lot of turmoil. my son was diagnosed at the age of 2 and placed on meds. (Either him or me!)My husband has been in denial since I tried telling him something was wrong with my newborn. For years, he"ll say that our son would "come around". I'm still waiting & praying so I try every day to take it slow.

My way of handling it- I returned to school to learn child development and whenever I have time, (not much) I read & talk to anyone who will hear me. My husband still believes he'll come around but he finally admits something is different (and doesn't like to talk about it) but he encourages me to continue my quest for the sake of our family.

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I am in the same boat. This is a repeat marriage for me and my hubby doesn't "get it". I am an ADD mom trying to raise an ADHD 8yo son, an ADHD 11 yo Daughter, and an ADD 15 yo Son. He thinks we're just lazy or using him or whatever. Doesn't understand the chaos that can occur in an ADD household; doesn't understand why the kids have trouble getting up in the morning, trouble concentrating on homework, doesn't understand why they play when he simply tells them "go clean your room". Doesn't understand that they have to have more specific direction than that and that they can't focus their attention for a long time. This degenerates into him yelling and screaming at them, accusations about being "used", how we're destroying his house (he owned the house before we married), etc, etc.. I could go on and on. It's gotten to the point that I'm considering divorce. I don't know what to do anymore either.

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I also have a husband who tells me constantly that this is a diagnosis made up by frustrated teachers and we should all just be a little more patient of my child

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Here is a site that may help. My husband was in denial and I printed this out and gave it to him. Hope this helps!

http://www.adhdinfo.com/info/faqs/myths.jsp?usertrack.filter_applied=true&NovaId=1178761742666421359

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Ned Halloway, an ADHD'er himself, has written a book that is changing my life. If you have been skeptical about 'another book', put skepticism aside and pick up "Delivered from Distraction" This is the one you've been waiting for!

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I'm a college student who was diagnosed with ADD about two years or so ago. I was successful in high school because my mom provided structure for me, NOT authoritarian discipline, I think that would have made my behavior worse but she would keep track of my projects and check online to see if I was missing work every morning. For papers she would help me organize my thoughts. My mom is a school nurse and deals with a lot of parents who are in denial about their child having ADHD or ADD. She always compares addressing a child's needs with ADD to giving them glasses. If your child had vision problems you wouldn't just ignore that would you? I think describing how you feel when you are overwhelmed can help too. I ask the person I am talking to to imagine a time when they felt extremely overwhelmed and nervous like they couldn't sit down or even think because they were so distracted, that is what I feel like all the time. Ask him if he could learn or function to his potential if he felt like that all the time. Also, I have been reading a book on Women with Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden. It is amazing, I definitely suggest you read it! Hope this helps:)

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Ask him to try something All in the same room: Turn on the television. Then turn on the radio. Start vacuming. Let any and/or all children play in the same room as all else, then ask your husband to sit down and read, ohhhhh, let's say a verse out of a bible, without saying or looking or doing anything to change the atmosphere. That includes not talking and telling you to turn off the electronics, and telling the children to be quiet. Then......ask him what he read and if he was able to read it. If you have a video camera, video what happens and show it to him. Then he might, just might, understand how ADD/ADHD feels to an ADDer.

Basically, unless you actually show them or if they are in a situation for a good deal of time, people without ADD/ADHD are not aware of how children feel and why they behave the way they do. My own step-mom (who has been around for 30 yrs now) actually did not understand how hyper my 15-year-old son was until he stayed with her for the summer 2 years ago. She is a teacher and had pretty tough kids in her classes, many ADD/ADHD w/comorid issues as well. She gets it now after 2 summers and almost every weekend visiting them for the past 2 yrs. Unless you live it, you don't get it.

And for meds, if you can find someone that benefitted from medication, ask them to talk to your spouse. If given properly, it will help focus your child to the task at hand. And, yes, there are many symptoms, just as there are symptoms to taking acetomenophine/asperin or wearing glasses, or having diabetes. You treat those things, why not this.

As I told my school this year, if I took the contents of a 4 drawer full file cabinet and just threw them in the air and then asked them to find a specific paper (not labeled folder) out of the pile before they reorgainzed the 'mess' within a couple of minutes, they might understand how it is with ADD/ADHD kids. And if you handle it as if it is a regular thing with your child, they do not need to be stigmatized, or feel bad about themselves. I was adopted, my son has ADHD. I talk about both things as if it were a normal thing. He knows what he has, what the symptoms are if he is changing meds, and that he is a challenged human person and not 'retarded', sick, a problem or any of the other things that people are always saying. It's just the way he is and that he is goes a different route of life. Isn't that what parents always try to teach their kids, not to be a mold necessarily but to find their own way and be the best they can at whatever they do? Good luck and prayers are with you too. Keep up with grins and giggles.

Sorry for length, I just get so frustrated with people that think they know better and DON'T.

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