I have two diagnosed sons and one who is too young, but I'm just waiting.

I find that anything we can do ahead of time helps a lot. Their homework must be in their backpack the night before, and their clothes are picked out the night before. No TV/video until it's all done. Everything is a negotiation---showers, dinner, homework etc. The more structure I provide, the better off we are. Having said all that, we struggle every day too!

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Thank God I am not the only parent with wakeup for school problems. It is a constant battle to get up and ready. Every morning during the school year ends in a fight between my son and I. It makes the day for both of us very sad.

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I can relate. I am a Mom with ADHD, and I have a son with ADHD who is 9 yrs old. It is a battle for him to get up, as well as for ME to get up. There is a great article on additudemag.com on the right side, Sleep and ADHD.

The problem identified, which I never realized until reading the article, is that some of us need ADHD treatment while we sleep also. My mind starts running and I can't fall asleep, I sleep lightly and wake at any sound, and I wake up exhausted, unable to concentrate all day.

My treatment during the day was NOT causing Insomnia, as some would think from taking Ritalin, because my Ritalin would wear off (I can tell) before I went to bed. Also, I could take the Ritalin and immediately take a wonderful three hour nap on the weekend. So I began taking Provigil about 20 minutes before bed, and now I sleep like a baby (no waking up and thinking about the dishes I need to wash, or my schedule for the next day)! Waking up is easier, but I still love to sleep in the am; old habits are hard to break!

I have heard that some ADHD children are treated with Provigil, and I am going to inquire with the Pediatrician.

As for the am battle, the sports are great for ADDers, but afterwards kids have a hard time winding down and going to sleep. I find having my 4th grader ride his bike to school helps, as well as making the consequence come from school-the teacher or principal-like missing recess. That way they own their behavior.

Also, try something like the alarm clocks that wake with different lights/sounds, maybe a favorite CD, or upbeat radio station. Or even the cartoon channel up really loud will get them up!

Lastly, negotiate a day to sleep in on occasion, maybe after a late game, or on your day off if you work. Take in the kid around 9am, understanding he has to make up work as needed. If scheduled well, the child won't miss anything by picking a good day to arrive late in advance. This gives them an incentive to get up on the rest of the days, or they don't get the special day.

Also, I've heard having their Rx by the bed and water may help. Have them open their eyes to take the Rx at first sound of the alarm. Then snooze for 20 minutes until the Rx kick-start their bodies. I don't do this because of young kids in the house, but it may work for you.

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It's wonderful to know that we aren't the only ones suffering with the school week morning blues.

I have a nine year old, and I am just trying to put her on some sort of schedule. Up by a certain time, breakfast, dressing, brushing her teeth, and pill all done with some regards to a timetable. It's not been too bad so far. But the TV is a definite NO go till everything is finished. That's been my biggest battle. As long as she's watching TV, everything goes in slower motion and it's a battle just to reach the front door.

Where oh where do you all summon the patience?

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Patience is a hard one. I am really working on it. My mornings the last two days have been hard, but I do agree with you about the TV thing. Since I stoped turning it on in the mornings, it really works. We can get done in less time than with it on. Now I just have to figure out how to get him going a little faster.

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We have two ADHD children - a 15 year old girl and a 13 year old boy. We medicate them while they are in bed. We gently wake them and give them their meds and they go back to sleep for another 30 plus minutes. When they get up, they are then able to cope with the demands of the morning rush. Before we did this it was madness!

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Yes, I agree giving them meds before getting them up in the morning works. I've done it with our 11 yr old boy. But how do you get them to eat for the day? It's like robbing Peter to pay Paul. I find if you can get them up really early you can feed them and get them their meds later before school starts. I think it's better if you can get them breakfast. My son brings home his lunch every day, but you feel bad sending your kid to school without a lunch. Comments please.

Thx, Robert

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ROUTINES & STRUCTURE are extremely helpful for children with ADD. If mornings are difficult for your child, then coming up with a morning routine for your child is essential. Start by writing down the "must do" steps the he/she needs to do in the morning. Eliminate things that aren't truly necessary, so the list isn't too long. Then put them in the order you think makes most sense.

Next, go over it with your child and make sure he/she understands it. Finally, post colorful notes in the appropriate places to serve as reminders for your child.

Don't expect the mornings to turn around 100% overnight; have reasonable expectations. You might want to consider a reward system, too. Also, allow a reasonable amount of time for each step of the morning routine.

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I agonized for several years over trying to get my daughter out for school on time. She is now 13.

I get home from work at 3:30 am. I'd stay up every night for fear I wouldn't wake up in time. We'd start at 5:30 for an 8 am arrival time. Her school is less than a 1/2 mile away. Sometimes she would still be dawdling at 10 and 11 am.

I'm the working parent. If I'd fall asleep she'd just sneak back to her room and go back to bed. I'd beg my husband to deal with it, because I was so tired and frustrated. As a man with his own set of problems, he would just inflame the situation. This went on and on.

It came to a head when the state-employed social worker at her school reported her constant lateness to the child-welfare authorities (ACS in NYC). You would imagine the thought of being put in a foster home might shake some sense into her, but even that didn't really help. We wound up in family therapy, which she did her best to avoid. She would come home late, feign illness or just be totally rude or throw tantrums in the therapist's office.

A few months ago she came home and said she would be staying with some friends of ours a couple of blocks away. She claims we agreed to it. I don't remember any such thing, nor does my husband.

However, she's on the right track. She's learning to be responsible for herself. She's being tutored by their 24-year-old daughter with Asperger's Syndrome (they've been pals since my daughter was 3), and she's almost never late for school anymore. They've taught her how to do her own laundry and she helps to babysit for another daughter's two kids.

I miss her terribly, but then most of our time together was so stressful, because I saw her mostly when I was trying to get her off to school. Our time together is much more pleasant now (when she takes her meds), and she's still only two blocks away.

We're not quite sure when she'll be moving back. Probably this summer, although she starts high school this fall and she'll be traveling about 1 and a 1/2 hours. I worry that this trip will really be tough for her.

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Wow, I love these forums; they help me believe I'm human. I have three boys, the oldest (almost 16) and the youngest (11 this week) are diagnosed with ADHD. The 13 yr. old and dad get to try to understand all of us, including me, diagnosed with adult ADD about three years ago. Mornings were always a battle, until I realized nothing was going to be perfect and ADD was a member of my household as much as my kids and I were.

We went the whole route with all of them in elementary school-if they were late due to oversleeping, they had to call the principal and explain why they were going to be late. We also did the, I'll take you, but not until I'm ready to leave the house myself. We even had them miss school if they overslept and they had to make up the work. Of course, none of that worked. Giving them their medication before they were fully awake didn't work well for us; it didn't sit well in their systems for some reason. The medication is taken after they are dressed.

My older son has three clocks in his room, including the "special" vibrating one in the bed, and the super-loud one that wakes up his brother an hour early. He even has to get out of bed to turn one of them off. I then get up at 6:20 am to be sure he is up. He is getting better as he gets older. It seems that maturity and the explanation/realization that once he's in college, he's on his own seem to be helping.

The younger one is the next one out the door. He also has sensory issues, so he gets some "cuddles" in the morning. He has low muscle tone, so I give him a bit of muscle massage. I also use a form of brushing that he really doesn't realize is brushing. He doesn't like to be thought of as different. He is beginning to understand more about his ADD and he is accepting more, but right now it's a world of eggshells with him.

So it is "cuddles" in the morning. I wake him up ten minutes before his alarm for that (we are big on alarm clocks). He (as well as the other two) all have magnetic white boards in their rooms. Each board has a morning list on it. The youngest needs it the most; executive function disorder is a strong issue with him. I stay in his room while he checks back in after one or two items on the list are done. He is learning to be more independent this way, rather than having me follow him around. It's not always perfect, but it helps.

The middle guy gets up the latest and is the only one who turns on a TV-that's because he is ready early!

I have an advantage, as I don't work full-time. I can drive someone to school if necessary. I did find, however, that when I did work full-time, the children understood that there was a time when Mom had to be out of the house and there was no choice; the schedule had to be adhered to strictly. I did find asking them for their help in getting ready on time, rather than talking at them, caused them to move along more calmly.

I also have a white board on the fridge in the kitchen and I write the daily schedule on it the night before. Everyone in the house is trained to check it before they leave in the morning. That way I don't run around trying to remember to tell each one what is happening after school-and I don't end up calling school to say I have to pick someone up. I even write down when they should bring down their laundry. It's a lifesaver for me.

I was very interested in the comments about Provigil. I found out I not only have ADD, but I also have been diagnosed with Narcolepsy (without cataplexy - I don't fall down asleep in the middle of a sentence, although I can just look at the person I'm talking to, say, "Oh, no, it's happening," and fall while I'm sitting with them.)

Surprisingly, the doctor couldn't believe I had gone so long without a diagnosis. He feels my extreme organizational skills (read: ADD coping mechanisms) are what got me through, since I've napped my way through much of my life. I had always known I had sleep difficulty and thought about Narcolepsy, but between having it attributed to other things and being an ADD procrastinator, I waited until I was almost 50 to check it out.

I also had read a while ago in ADDitude about Provigil for ADD and sleep issues and had told my ADD doctor I wanted to try it. It didn't seem to help. I now have a new ADD doctor and sleep doctor who work together. I am on Provigil during the day (and will be for life) to keep me from being sleepy-seemingly the opposite of what riojas2006 takes it for. I take Straterra at night so it starts working and allows me to sleep.

Sorry for having veered off onto the Provigil stuff.

Mornings are never predictable, and I've learned not to try to expect them to be one way or the other. I try to take it one moment at a time and work with what I am given. This goes for the family members with and without ADD! I also make sure I have my own checklist to keep me sane. Oh- and I also try very hard to read the comics in the daily paper at some point in the morning for my own sanity.

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Hi,

My son definitely has trouble getting up and out. I have found that if I wake him and give him his medicine and then let him snooze a bit while the medicine starts to work, things go a little more smoothly. I agree that getting as much together the night before as possible helps a lot.

My son is also very invasive with his older sister and the bickering that goes on in the morning makes me nuts. Does anyone have any good ideas for incentives to get them to cut it out?

I have trouble not micromanaging them-I'm afraid that if I don't intervene they will hurt each other. Limit setting doesn't seem to work. HELP!

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Hi,

I'm a single Mom with ADD and I have an eight year old that also has been diagnosed with ADHD and slight Aspergers. Because of the issues we have every morning, I have rules about NO video games or TV until he's dressed and eaten his food. This is hard to keep to, but I find it works. I also find that if he is being grouchy and uncooperative, I can turn getting dressed (including shoes on) into a race. He ALWAYS wants to win, so this seems to motivate him to do it without any complaining. In fact, he does it in record time.

I've always found humor or competitiveness to work when I get desperate. The hard part is trying to keep my head calm and creative enough to come up with little games or jokes that motivate him.

Trying to force him with threats or yelling just doesn't work. Even if it's taking his beloved DS game away. The reality of me really doing it doesn't seem to matter until I have actually taken it. By then it's too late and I'm left with a crying, temper-tantrumming child who won't do anything to get ready.

I also apply his meds (Daytrana patch) before he gets up. This seems to help.

Good luck

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I have an almost 11 year old son with ADHD and anxiety disorder. What I have found to work best for us is giving him his medication when he first gets up in the morning and then immediately giving him breakfast. After he eats, then it is off to the shower (sometimes it is a 30 minutes shower). When he gets out of the shower, it appears that the medication is beginning to work and I don't have as much trouble getting him out the door. Just make sure you give them enough time to take that shower and finish the rest of their routine, or it will be rushed.

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I've only got one child, so this may not work for you, but I wake my son with breakfast in bed (milk, meds, oatmeal, etc). Then he can snooze for a half an hour or so, then get up and take a shower. By the time the shower is done, the meds are beginning to work and our departure for school much easier (he's actually reminded me that he needs a lunch!) We never watch TV or play video games in the am though I suppose you could use that as an incentive for later (such as in the car on the way to school ).

I still find that many times I'm getting up too late, and that I'm rushing both of us because of it. If I wake him with breakfast at 6:30 we can be out the door in a happy frame of mind by 7:30.

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When my 8 y.o. was taking oral meds in the a.m., just getting him out of bed each day was an ordeal. Now I put his patch on at 5 a.m., while he is still asleep. By the time he needs to get up at 6:30, he's self-directed and focused. Wow! We had a slight learning curve with the patch but after 18 mos of use, we're happy with it.

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Plus.....signs on the wall near the kitchen...red stop sign I have written Breakfast and Dex......blue oval shape with get dressed.......yellow star with wash teeth and brush hair....orange triange in sections with what needs to be in their launch pad ( Launch pad is a box at the front door with everything they need for school that day and shoes and socks) blue oval with shoes and socks...and a green arrow with leave by 8.30. They do not get free time after school if they are late..... I still have to remind them to check their signs and remind them of the time..... I like to do some exercise with them in the morning to get their systems going(we don't get the time to do this every morning ) though it helps a great deal...... Not to mention medication..........Just after breakfast .....

we are still late, some times for school not as much as we use to be with our rules.

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boys with aspergers and adhd...... ages 10 and 5.

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How comforting it is to hear that so many others with ADHD kids are having the same morning dilemma! I have three kids, 13, 12 and 10. My middle child has ADHD/OCD/autism (high-functioning). I suspect that he is more autistic than ADHD, if there is such a thing, but we too struggle to get out the door in the morning.

I never thought of waking them up to give their meds to. How does that affect their eating breakfast, though?

Thanks for the idea!

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You have to implement more structure and routine to your family schedule. Make sure the t.v. and radio are off in the morning. Music is fine, but it can't be coming from the radio. Morning radio programs and t.v. programs can be MAJOR distractions for those of us w/ ADD. In fact, music can work to get your entire family moving at the same pace. Try playing classical music (w/ 60 beats per minute) throughout the house in the morning. The slow-moving inattentive ADDers will pick up their pace. The hyper ADDers will slow down. Everyone will be on the same pace, moving along steadily.

In addition to the music, make sure you do everything possible to prepare for the morning the night before. Implement a bedtime routine that involves more than getting ready for sleep. The bedtime routine should teach your kids to plan ahead...plan for tomorrow! This routine should incorporate several tasks (beyond teeth brushing): packing up homework, getting out school clothes, selecting what to eat for breakfast, gathering athletic equipment and uniforms, etc.

Get a laundry basket for each child and call it their Launching Pad. Everything they gather during their Bedtime Routine should be placed in the launching pad. Nothing else should ever go in the launching pad. When the morning rolls around, everything they need (hopefully) will be in the basket, ready to launch out the door w/ them!

There are so many other things you can do. Be creative and lean toward implementing routines that address the specific/detail oriented tasks and items ADDers tend to overlook.

Good luck!

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My son is in the process of being diagnosed. We have the same problems in the morning with getting ready while the tv is on. This also is a problem in the evenings and on weekends. For the last two years as we battled with behavior issues, I found the biggest impact was to take away the tv. Just keeping it turned off didn't work. I actually unplugged it. The first week or two was hard, but after that he got used to it not being around. Mornings are much easier and we have a good routine of taking a bath that helps him wake up and stay relaxed while I fix a quick breakfast. He gets dressed, eats and gets his teeth brushed and is out the door in 20-25 minutes from the time he gets up. The times when the tv does get turned back on, the mornings and evenings go haywire and I am back to prodding him along. Our biggest struggle with this is in the winter in between our peak sports months when there is more time to spare and too cold to run off all of the energy playing with friends. Since we are so busy with sports, he does his homework in afterschool daycare. I've made it a rule that if he isn't done and it is a late night for sports, that he can't play until the homework is done. This gets him to make sure it is done in daycare. I also maneuver dinner around so late nights he eats earlier and early sports nights he eats afterwards. Then I keep crackers, pretzels, etc in the car to munch on. Getting the routine in place takes time and we've phased pieces in so that it wasn't such a big change. My son has been much better off with the routine and more cooperative and the routine gives him some control even though he doesn't realize it exactly what Mom wants.

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My son is almost 11, inattentive ADHD and I have a 5 year old. I make sure that I am ready completely before I wake up my older son. Most mornings I just dress him myself and save the battles for eating. They both go to school where I teach, so all I have to do is get them into the car and off we go. I have to make sure there is nothing on the table that can be read, or he wil not eat. I also let him eat just about anything, with a glass of milk and a multivitamin. Shoes and backpack stay downstairs and once we are all down, no one goes back up. He, too, has trouble going to sleep, so I let him sleep late on the weekend. I remind him of that each moring I wake him up at 6:30 how many days until the weekend. I have also arranged my schedule with 10 extra minutes of crisis time built in for those that I know will happen. When they don't, we get out the door 10 minutes early. That doesn't happen most days. The boys are not aware that I have that 10 minutes. This helps me to not panic when things go haywire.

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Hi,

Maybe you could find activities for your kids that aren't so disruptive to their sleep/dinner? IF they absolutely love their activities, you need to make it clear that if they want to continue these extra fun activities then they need to show they can handle them - hence get with the morning program.

I am also ADD, as an ADD Mom, I need structure in the morning. For example you could explain to your kids, no fighting bickering in the mornings or this will happen (think of something both wouldn't want to happen but not too harsh). Tell them when Mom asks you to do something if it takes 3 requests - then have a "then this will happen." For example, we have the TV on in the am, I am usually up before my son, he is 8 - I am drinking my coffee and watching the news (my son knows this is Mommy TV time). My son wakes up and joins me, he will groan a little for breakfast, I remind him that until I finish my coffee I can be grumpy in the mornings - trust me I can - don't want to - just occasional lack of sleep sometimes gets to me. Somewhere in the groans, I remind him to ask nicely and when he does, how can I refuse? I get my son his breakfast - coffee can be nuked. Can't say this works every time but at least 80-90% - my son understands, he isn't a bright eyed bushy tailed dude in the morning either.

We take our pills after we eat and feed the dogs. Then my son knows as well as the dogs know that the next step is Mom getting ready and my son getting ready for the day. I like music and listen to it in the bathroom, my son, he likes TV, he can watch it in the am (his shows) as long as at a commercial he tries to floss, brush his teeth and mouthwash. I try to get his mouthwash when I make the request, while his show is still playing. My son worries about bad breath and his kid's mouthwash helps with his confidence.

My son can care less what he wears at this point and time in his life so I usually ask him what class he will be doing that day and get his clothes ready for the day. Sometimes he will get dressed in his room during a commercial, other times while watching TV - doesn't matter to me as long as he is ready before I am. My son knows if I need to remind him 3 times to either take care of his oral hygiene or get dressed, the TV will go off and he will have to read/play with toys - but not until after he is completely ready for school with my unhappy supervision. This doesn't sound like punishment and it isn't, it just isn't what he prefers in the am - so in some strange way - this works for us. My son knows what I expect him to do and does it. Sometimes he is reminding me to get his mouthwash poured or clothes ready because I forgot to do so prior to getting my own clothes for the day, etc. Sometimes he will totally surprise me and pick out his own clothes and is dressed.

It wasn't always like this, it took time to figure out what worked for us and his medication really helped my son to do this stuff on his own - usually I ask him once - twice the most and he is off - sometimes I don't even need to tell him at all he just takes care of it. OK I know I still pick out his clothes but when you don't care what you wear and you are being forced to make choices that don't mean anything to you and you have a lot of clothes to choose from (little overwhelming) similar to myself in a restaurant with too many menu selections - takes me a while to decide what the heck I want to eat! My 8 year old feels like that with clothes, I don't mind picking stuff out for him on school days, encorage him to choose between two choices sometimes and to select on his own on weekends. If it was the opposite and he was determined to select every day what he wears and most of the time it was mixmatched - hey if he likes it and wants to wear it, that would be fine - so be it, if he is dressed and ready for school on time - it's all good.

I know I do not have more than one child so things get a little different with more kids but I did babysit a younger girl for a few years prior to my current position and boy in time it was like she was one of my own. We had the bickering, tattling, and (temporary) sybling-ish rivalry. One thing her mother taught me was when the bickering starts and the tattling starts and if it is minor, not like someone will get injured or is in danger or doing something Mom would go ballistic over- ask if they both want a timeout? It was amazing, they both would say no and continue playing nice after that. Trust me this took some time, you have to be/remain consistent. Maybe if the bickering keeps going, have them sit back to back crossed legs in the middle of the floor and interlock their arms and set a timer and tell them if they make any noises/grunts/complaints then the timer will get longer and you will add 5 minutes on to the time already set with each and every sound. Somewhere in the mist of all of this - I would think the boredom would make the bickering not worth the timeouts...

Hope this helps some - if you decide to try it, let me know either way and if it doesn't help, hang in there...

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I worry less about quantity of food at a given meal than I do about food eaten in the entire day. I also make sure that the food eaten is chosen by my child and the choices given are all highly nutritious. We also discovered Mighty Milk. While expensive it is high protein and low sugar. If that is all he eats for lunch I am happy. The rest of his lunch is his afternoon snack and if he is still hungry he may have more. Dinner follows shortly after and I offer a bedtime snack as well. All in all he is gaining weight and growing.

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I know how you feel, I was ready to give up until I found THE TOTAL TRANSFORMATION PROGRAM by JAMES LEHMAN. Phenomenal.This was my last resort after literally trying EVERYTHING else .I truly don't know where my family would be if it weren't for this program. Whatever you try ,the key is consistency.Don;t give up and good luck!

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Now I would go nuts if the TV were on in the morning as well. I have ADD and my 6 year-old son has ADHD. The radio in the bathroom doesn't bother me as long as my son is not trying to ask me 35 questions while I'm getting ready. On the weekend during breakfast, my husband tends to turn on the radio, but then it drives me crazy when the music is playing, he's trying to discuss something with me and my kids are both constantly trying interrupt. I could go through the roof, but my husband just doesn't understand why I can't focus on his conversation. Oops...getting off the topic here.

Ever since I decided to have the kids eat their breakfast in Kindergarten everything works out fine. I lay out the clothes the night before (or else ask them to pick out something for the next day and lay it out), then I pre-pack the breakfast and afternoon snacks (they get served a hot lunch in kindergarten) and put it in the fridge. So, in the morning I get up before they do (very important), have breakfast, then I put their lunchboxes in their backpacks. They usually wake up in time, then brush their teeth, get dressed and we're ready to go and out the door. Easy, easy....about 90% of the time.

I've found lately that it helps me to keep the house quiet from extra "noise"...from the radio or tv...with the kids, it's loud already, although I'm trying to train them on that too....with the "inside" voices. :-)

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