Just Diagnosed?Treating ADDParenting ADD/LD KidsSchool & Learning DisabilitiesAdult ADD/LD
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >

active forum Post Reply

Thread : Up and out in the morning  
17 Aug 2006 @ 8:13 AM
wildfire Join Date: Sun 27th Jan 2008
Threads: 1 Posts: 2
Up and out in the morning

Hello all.

Does anyone else have problems getting their ADHD child up and out the door in the morning? I am a 39 y.o. mom with ADD and have one 15 y.o. son with inattentive ADD, an 11 y.o. daughter with ADHD and an 8 y.o. son with ADHD. I am very tired of the fights and frustration trying to get them up and out to school in the morning. I don't have trouble with the 15 y.o. but the younger two are absolute murder! We also have homework battles, as they'd rather do things like play video games, watch TV, or go swimming. Three days a week the younger two have cheerleading/football practice from 5:30 pm until 7:30 pm and we typically don't eat dinner until after practice. Bedtime is 9:30 and I wake them up at 6:15 so that we can leave for school between 7:00 and 7:10 am. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I'm at my wits end!

Thanks.

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 8:59 AM. Reason:
28 Aug 2006 @ 9:00 AM Reply # 1
nymom of 3 Join Date:
Threads: Posts:
Do things ahead of time

I have two diagnosed sons and one who is too young, but I'm just waiting.

I find that anything we can do ahead of time helps a lot. Their homework must be in their backpack the night before, and their clothes are picked out the night before. No TV/video until it's all done. Everything is a negotiation---showers, dinner, homework etc. The more structure I provide, the better off we are. Having said all that, we struggle every day too!

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 8:45 AM. Reason:
29 Aug 2006 @ 7:16 PM Reply # 2
jferkler@msn.com Join Date: Thu 3rd Jan 2008
Threads: 1 Posts: 6
Fights before the school day

Thank God I am not the only parent with wakeup for school problems. It is a constant battle to get up and ready. Every morning during the school year ends in a fight between my son and I. It makes the day for both of us very sad.

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 8:48 AM. Reason:
18 Sep 2006 @ 10:54 AM Reply # 3
riojas2006 Join Date:
Threads: Posts:
new reply

I can relate. I am a Mom with ADHD, and I have a son with ADHD who is 9 yrs old. It is a battle for him to get up, as well as for ME to get up. There is a great article on additudemag.com on the right side, Sleep and ADHD.

The problem identified, which I never realized until reading the article, is that some of us need ADHD treatment while we sleep also. My mind starts running and I can't fall asleep, I sleep lightly and wake at any sound, and I wake up exhausted, unable to concentrate all day.

My treatment during the day was NOT causing Insomnia, as some would think from taking Ritalin, because my Ritalin would wear off (I can tell) before I went to bed. Also, I could take the Ritalin and immediately take a wonderful three hour nap on the weekend. So I began taking Provigil about 20 minutes before bed, and now I sleep like a baby (no waking up and thinking about the dishes I need to wash, or my schedule for the next day)! Waking up is easier, but I still love to sleep in the am; old habits are hard to break!

I have heard that some ADHD children are treated with Provigil, and I am going to inquire with the Pediatrician.

As for the am battle, the sports are great for ADDers, but afterwards kids have a hard time winding down and going to sleep. I find having my 4th grader ride his bike to school helps, as well as making the consequence come from school-the teacher or principal-like missing recess. That way they own their behavior.

Also, try something like the alarm clocks that wake with different lights/sounds, maybe a favorite CD, or upbeat radio station. Or even the cartoon channel up really loud will get them up!

Lastly, negotiate a day to sleep in on occasion, maybe after a late game, or on your day off if you work. Take in the kid around 9am, understanding he has to make up work as needed. If scheduled well, the child won't miss anything by picking a good day to arrive late in advance. This gives them an incentive to get up on the rest of the days, or they don't get the special day.

Also, I've heard having their Rx by the bed and water may help. Have them open their eyes to take the Rx at first sound of the alarm. Then snooze for 20 minutes until the Rx kick-start their bodies. I don't do this because of young kids in the house, but it may work for you.

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 8:59 AM. Reason:
18 Sep 2006 @ 12:55 PM Reply # 4
tink5972 Join Date:
Threads: Posts:
Not alone

It's wonderful to know that we aren't the only ones suffering with the school week morning blues.

I have a nine year old, and I am just trying to put her on some sort of schedule. Up by a certain time, breakfast, dressing, brushing her teeth, and pill all done with some regards to a timetable. It's not been too bad so far. But the TV is a definite NO go till everything is finished. That's been my biggest battle. As long as she's watching TV, everything goes in slower motion and it's a battle just to reach the front door.

Where oh where do you all summon the patience?

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 9:03 AM. Reason:
19 Sep 2006 @ 8:13 AM Reply # 5
pilxey99 Join Date:
Threads: Posts:
Patience

Patience is a hard one. I am really working on it. My mornings the last two days have been hard, but I do agree with you about the TV thing. Since I stoped turning it on in the mornings, it really works. We can get done in less time than with it on. Now I just have to figure out how to get him going a little faster.

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 9:07 AM. Reason:
20 Sep 2006 @ 5:40 AM Reply # 6
spencer65 Join Date:
Threads: Posts:
Medication in bed

We have two ADHD children - a 15 year old girl and a 13 year old boy. We medicate them while they are in bed. We gently wake them and give them their meds and they go back to sleep for another 30 plus minutes. When they get up, they are then able to cope with the demands of the morning rush. Before we did this it was madness!

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 9:09 AM. Reason:
12 May 2007 @ 8:40 PM Reply # 7
Robert Bastien Join Date: Sat 2nd Feb 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 1
Meds before breakfast?

Yes, I agree giving them meds before getting them up in the morning works. I've done it with our 11 yr old boy. But how do you get them to eat for the day? It's like robbing Peter to pay Paul. I find if you can get them up really early you can feed them and get them their meds later before school starts. I think it's better if you can get them breakfast. My son brings home his lunch every day, but you feel bad sending your kid to school without a lunch. Comments please.

Thx, Robert

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 9:12 AM. Reason:
23 May 2007 @ 9:02 PM Reply # 8
Rhonda Pawlan Join Date: Tue 11th Dec 2007
Threads: 0 Posts: 6
Routines & Structure

ROUTINES & STRUCTURE are extremely helpful for children with ADD. If mornings are difficult for your child, then coming up with a morning routine for your child is essential. Start by writing down the "must do" steps the he/she needs to do in the morning. Eliminate things that aren't truly necessary, so the list isn't too long. Then put them in the order you think makes most sense.

Next, go over it with your child and make sure he/she understands it. Finally, post colorful notes in the appropriate places to serve as reminders for your child.

Don't expect the mornings to turn around 100% overnight; have reasonable expectations. You might want to consider a reward system, too. Also, allow a reasonable amount of time for each step of the morning routine.

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 9:19 AM. Reason:
29 May 2007 @ 8:31 PM Reply # 9
lieslsmom Join Date: Tue 6th May 2008
Threads: Posts:
What worked for us

I agonized for several years over trying to get my daughter out for school on time. She is now 13.

I get home from work at 3:30 am. I'd stay up every night for fear I wouldn't wake up in time. We'd start at 5:30 for an 8 am arrival time. Her school is less than a 1/2 mile away. Sometimes she would still be dawdling at 10 and 11 am.

I'm the working parent. If I'd fall asleep she'd just sneak back to her room and go back to bed. I'd beg my husband to deal with it, because I was so tired and frustrated. As a man with his own set of problems, he would just inflame the situation. This went on and on.

It came to a head when the state-employed social worker at her school reported her constant lateness to the child-welfare authorities (ACS in NYC). You would imagine the thought of being put in a foster home might shake some sense into her, but even that didn't really help. We wound up in family therapy, which she did her best to avoid. She would come home late, feign illness or just be totally rude or throw tantrums in the therapist's office.

A few months ago she came home and said she would be staying with some friends of ours a couple of blocks away. She claims we agreed to it. I don't remember any such thing, nor does my husband.

However, she's on the right track. She's learning to be responsible for herself. She's being tutored by their 24-year-old daughter with Asperger's Syndrome (they've been pals since my daughter was 3), and she's almost never late for school anymore. They've taught her how to do her own laundry and she helps to babysit for another daughter's two kids.

I miss her terribly, but then most of our time together was so stressful, because I saw her mostly when I was trying to get her off to school. Our time together is much more pleasant now (when she takes her meds), and she's still only two blocks away.

We're not quite sure when she'll be moving back. Probably this summer, although she starts high school this fall and she'll be traveling about 1 and a 1/2 hours. I worry that this trip will really be tough for her.

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 9:27 AM. Reason:
31 May 2007 @ 6:25 AM Reply # 10
Zelda Join Date: Tue 13th Nov 2007
Threads: 0 Posts: 2
You have to have checklists

Wow, I love these forums; they help me believe I'm human. I have three boys, the oldest (almost 16) and the youngest (11 this week) are diagnosed with ADHD. The 13 yr. old and dad get to try to understand all of us, including me, diagnosed with adult ADD about three years ago. Mornings were always a battle, until I realized nothing was going to be perfect and ADD was a member of my household as much as my kids and I were.

We went the whole route with all of them in elementary school-if they were late due to oversleeping, they had to call the principal and explain why they were going to be late. We also did the, I'll take you, but not until I'm ready to leave the house myself. We even had them miss school if they overslept and they had to make up the work. Of course, none of that worked. Giving them their medication before they were fully awake didn't work well for us; it didn't sit well in their systems for some reason. The medication is taken after they are dressed.

My older son has three clocks in his room, including the "special" vibrating one in the bed, and the super-loud one that wakes up his brother an hour early. He even has to get out of bed to turn one of them off. I then get up at 6:20 am to be sure he is up. He is getting better as he gets older. It seems that maturity and the explanation/realization that once he's in college, he's on his own seem to be helping.

The younger one is the next one out the door. He also has sensory issues, so he gets some "cuddles" in the morning. He has low muscle tone, so I give him a bit of muscle massage. I also use a form of brushing that he really doesn't realize is brushing. He doesn't like to be thought of as different. He is beginning to understand more about his ADD and he is accepting more, but right now it's a world of eggshells with him.

So it is "cuddles" in the morning. I wake him up ten minutes before his alarm for that (we are big on alarm clocks). He (as well as the other two) all have magnetic white boards in their rooms. Each board has a morning list on it. The youngest needs it the most; executive function disorder is a strong issue with him. I stay in his room while he checks back in after one or two items on the list are done. He is learning to be more independent this way, rather than having me follow him around. It's not always perfect, but it helps.

The middle guy gets up the latest and is the only one who turns on a TV-that's because he is ready early!

I have an advantage, as I don't work full-time. I can drive someone to school if necessary. I did find, however, that when I did work full-time, the children understood that there was a time when Mom had to be out of the house and there was no choice; the schedule had to be adhered to strictly. I did find asking them for their help in getting ready on time, rather than talking at them, caused them to move along more calmly.

I also have a white board on the fridge in the kitchen and I write the daily schedule on it the night before. Everyone in the house is trained to check it before they leave in the morning. That way I don't run around trying to remember to tell each one what is happening after school-and I don't end up calling school to say I have to pick someone up. I even write down when they should bring down their laundry. It's a lifesaver for me.

I was very interested in the comments about Provigil. I found out I not only have ADD, but I also have been diagnosed with Narcolepsy (without cataplexy - I don't fall down asleep in the middle of a sentence, although I can just look at the person I'm talking to, say, "Oh, no, it's happening," and fall while I'm sitting with them.)

Surprisingly, the doctor couldn't believe I had gone so long without a diagnosis. He feels my extreme organizational skills (read: ADD coping mechanisms) are what got me through, since I've napped my way through much of my life. I had always known I had sleep difficulty and thought about Narcolepsy, but between having it attributed to other things and being an ADD procrastinator, I waited until I was almost 50 to check it out.

I also had read a while ago in ADDitude about Provigil for ADD and sleep issues and had told my ADD doctor I wanted to try it. It didn't seem to help. I now have a new ADD doctor and sleep doctor who work together. I am on Provigil during the day (and will be for life) to keep me from being sleepy-seemingly the opposite of what riojas2006 takes it for. I take Straterra at night so it starts working and allows me to sleep.

Sorry for having veered off onto the Provigil stuff.

Mornings are never predictable, and I've learned not to try to expect them to be one way or the other. I try to take it one moment at a time and work with what I am given. This goes for the family members with and without ADD! I also make sure I have my own checklist to keep me sane. Oh- and I also try very hard to read the comics in the daily paper at some point in the morning for my own sanity.

Quote

Last edited by suzey : 12 Nov 2007 @ 9:38 AM. Reason:
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >

active forum Post Reply

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Local Time : 6 Jul 2008 6:21 PM
(Sun, 06 Jul 2008 22:21:52 GMT)

Copyright © 1998 - 2007 New Hope Media LLC. All rights reserved. Your use of this site is governed by our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
ADDitude does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only. See additional information.
New Hope Media, 39 W. 37th Street, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10018