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Thread : When No One Believes You Are ADD  
17 Jan 2007 @ 4:09 PM
ADD RN Join Date: Wed 21st Nov 2007
Threads: 6 Posts: 123
When No One Believes You Are ADD

I have been diagnosed with ADD for 5 years now, My life was a mess before my diagnosis. I live with a non-ADD husband; and a Non-ADD teenager.

My best friend tells me I am not ADD because I am smart. When I try to explain to him that I am he just becomes frustrated because he just doesn't see the symptoms.

On the other hand, my husband tries to blame everything on my ADD; sometimes I just want to scream that everything wrong I do is my ADD.

Any advice on finding a balance with those around me. Otherwise, I would be really okay because I accept my ADD; and at times I find it amusing especially when I have one of those major ADD moments; and blurt out what everyone else is really thinking. I find a sense of humour is really important in ADD moments.

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:37 PM. Reason:
19 Jan 2007 @ 10:31 AM Reply # 1
Tina Join Date: Thu 8th Nov 2007
Threads: 2 Posts: 22
A Little Research Goes a Long Way

ADD people are very smart. Maybe your friend can do some research on the subject or you can print out some info on it.

I've found that I blurt out what everyone else is thinking also. Everyone says that I should have been a comedian. So I agree that you have to have a sense of humor. As for your husband maybe he needs to go to the doctor with you one time and let the doctor talk to him. That's what I had to do. Hope this has helped you.

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:38 PM. Reason:
19 Jan 2007 @ 3:29 PM Reply # 2
ADD RN Join Date: Wed 21st Nov 2007
Threads: 6 Posts: 123
Seeking a Simple Article

I had my husband go to the doctor with me. At times he thought he needed to let her know about all my blunders.

As far as my friend, I want to find an easy article for him that he could read. Books like Driven to Distraction are just to time consuming for him. Sometimes I think he may be ADHD ; and that is why we are so well connected. He is definitely one of the most exciting risk taker I know ; and I know I am attracted to the fun he seems to generate.

For example motorcycle trips, jazz clubs, and he doesn't realize it he talks about a million of different subjects without missing a beat so I never get bored.

I love my husband; and the reason I was attracted to him was for some of the same reasons motorcycles, trips etc. However at times I tune him out because he will repeat himself 200 times . I also found that I depended on him for things like paying the bills etc because frankly I would ; but it was on my times not exactly due dates. I am going to buy him the book "dare to forgive" Do you know of a simple article for my friend.

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:40 PM. Reason:
20 Jan 2007 @ 11:36 AM Reply # 3
pilxey99 Join Date:
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ADD for Dummies

don't you wish there was a book on add/adhd for dummies? they have them for everyone thing else they should make one for add as well. i would by cases of that book. so, i could give it to my family. so, they could understand what my little boy is going through.

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:41 PM. Reason:
21 Jan 2007 @ 7:43 PM Reply # 4
Tina Join Date: Thu 8th Nov 2007
Threads: 2 Posts: 22
ADD Articles

There are simple articles for the lay person on the web with symptoms, behaviors, struggles, etc. That is something else that I did for my husband. I will look and see if I still have one to send you.

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:42 PM. Reason:
28 Apr 2007 @ 7:36 AM Reply # 5
preim Join Date:
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Pick Your Battles

You are spending too much energy trying to convince your friend that you have ADD.

I would just explain to him/her you behave a certain way to events in life and to expect it. Your friend can be a real friend by being your coach. Explain what he/she can do to help you along with your ADD (give examples...like keeping you on track during a conversation where you are going off on tangents).

What behaviors does your husband have to blame on your ADD? I suspect it would be the same behaviors non-ADDers have. This appears to be a case of just communicating honestly with each other. Some people like to be non-confrontational and live life like everything is okay, very shallow and fake. I don't believe this is okay. There would be too much internal stress built up. Not healthy for a relationship.

But I always remember that I can only control myself, not others. If you concentrate on how you react to other peoples behaviors then maybe you can work to calm your anxieties and realize that somethings are not that important. Pick your battles. vr, pr

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:44 PM. Reason:
30 Apr 2007 @ 8:52 PM Reply # 6
ADD RN Join Date: Wed 21st Nov 2007
Threads: 6 Posts: 123
Giving Up...

I have given up trying to convince anyone that I am ADD. It was too time consuming.

I never made up excuse when I make blunders because it is the thing most ADDers tend to do such as lose things because we are distracted or multi task because I can't stay on one subject. My best friend thinks all ADDers are with learning problems; I find math is really impossible for me.

I figure I could never convince my friend even though I have a off the chart IQ; somethings like staying on task can be impossible especially if i don't find the subject engaging, And my husband just take care of it if it is something is important because i have so many times my own way of doing things.

I wonder if we could let credit companies we are ADD so when we are late our credit history doesn't suffer?

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:46 PM. Reason:
12 May 2007 @ 3:49 PM Reply # 7
Tina Join Date: Thu 8th Nov 2007
Threads: 2 Posts: 22
Subscribe to ADDitude

Their are simple readings on ADHD on this topic in Additude Mag. I have let my husband read this. It helped him and I get to a point that he believes me. In fact he and my friends will also ask me if I took my medicine if I start acting my way that I do without the med. Maybe you could try starting their. Hope this helped some.

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:47 PM. Reason:
24 May 2007 @ 9:47 AM Reply # 8
Jenniferjansen Join Date:
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Be the Duck

Stopped making excuses long ago. A sense of humor does wonders. It is the times I lose touch with that sense of humor, that cause me the most problems. See the duck, be the duck. Let that negativity roll off your back and swim on.

I have come to a point where I will not waste time on people who are negative. I used to try to change their ideas to positive ones, but found that it was wasted effort and energy for the most part. I try to surround myself with paople who have positive attitudes and outlook on life. There are so many possibilities. Not always the easy way to go but it sure beats feeling sour all the time!

Jennifer

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:49 PM. Reason:
25 May 2007 @ 4:49 PM Reply # 9
meadd823 Join Date: Thu 8th Nov 2007
Threads: 0 Posts: 2
ADD Intelligence

Your friend lacks knowledge and doesn't really seem interested in rectifying this. Being ADD does not have thing one to do with intelligence. . . ADD effects our ability to consciously control our focus and attention span. Frankly I wouldn't even bother with the friend let him think what ever he wants.

My ex-husband blamed my ADD and hormones for every thing too. It prevented him from having to accept the possibility that he was responsible for some things in the relationship too. As long as every thing bad was due to my ADD or female hormones then he didn't have any reason to put forth the effort to change any of his behaviors. . . . he is my ex-husband so I do not have any enlightenment to offer in the husband department

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:51 PM. Reason:
25 May 2007 @ 7:51 PM Reply # 10
ADD RN Join Date: Wed 21st Nov 2007
Threads: 6 Posts: 123
A Little Appreciation

I gave up long ago trying to convince my friend. I was just frustrated because he would say things like why can't you focus on this. Or you're so smart; but you can't remember some of the simpler things.

Now I just roll my eyes; and tell it just me. If he doesn't get it it is his problem not mine. I think he is ADHD and that is why I relate to him.

My husband I told stop trying to blame me for everything because between work, home school. I juggled much more than he has; and if he can't see that he is sometimes the problem then we will be ex's because I figure I don't need his blame. I do this sufficiently for myself. I just want some appreciation for what I do. Is that too much to ask?

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Last edited by Anni : 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:58 PM. Reason:
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