ADD people are very smart. Maybe your friend can do some research on the subject or you can print out some info on it.

I've found that I blurt out what everyone else is thinking also. Everyone says that I should have been a comedian. So I agree that you have to have a sense of humor. As for your husband maybe he needs to go to the doctor with you one time and let the doctor talk to him. That's what I had to do. Hope this has helped you.

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I had my husband go to the doctor with me. At times he thought he needed to let her know about all my blunders.

As far as my friend, I want to find an easy article for him that he could read. Books like Driven to Distraction are just to time consuming for him. Sometimes I think he may be ADHD ; and that is why we are so well connected. He is definitely one of the most exciting risk taker I know ; and I know I am attracted to the fun he seems to generate.

For example motorcycle trips, jazz clubs, and he doesn't realize it he talks about a million of different subjects without missing a beat so I never get bored.

I love my husband; and the reason I was attracted to him was for some of the same reasons motorcycles, trips etc. However at times I tune him out because he will repeat himself 200 times . I also found that I depended on him for things like paying the bills etc because frankly I would ; but it was on my times not exactly due dates. I am going to buy him the book "dare to forgive" Do you know of a simple article for my friend.

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don't you wish there was a book on add/adhd for dummies? they have them for everyone thing else they should make one for add as well. i would by cases of that book. so, i could give it to my family. so, they could understand what my little boy is going through.

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There are simple articles for the lay person on the web with symptoms, behaviors, struggles, etc. That is something else that I did for my husband. I will look and see if I still have one to send you.

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You are spending too much energy trying to convince your friend that you have ADD.

I would just explain to him/her you behave a certain way to events in life and to expect it. Your friend can be a real friend by being your coach. Explain what he/she can do to help you along with your ADD (give examples...like keeping you on track during a conversation where you are going off on tangents).

What behaviors does your husband have to blame on your ADD? I suspect it would be the same behaviors non-ADDers have. This appears to be a case of just communicating honestly with each other. Some people like to be non-confrontational and live life like everything is okay, very shallow and fake. I don't believe this is okay. There would be too much internal stress built up. Not healthy for a relationship.

But I always remember that I can only control myself, not others. If you concentrate on how you react to other peoples behaviors then maybe you can work to calm your anxieties and realize that somethings are not that important. Pick your battles. vr, pr

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I have given up trying to convince anyone that I am ADD. It was too time consuming.

I never made up excuse when I make blunders because it is the thing most ADDers tend to do such as lose things because we are distracted or multi task because I can't stay on one subject. My best friend thinks all ADDers are with learning problems; I find math is really impossible for me.

I figure I could never convince my friend even though I have a off the chart IQ; somethings like staying on task can be impossible especially if i don't find the subject engaging, And my husband just take care of it if it is something is important because i have so many times my own way of doing things.

I wonder if we could let credit companies we are ADD so when we are late our credit history doesn't suffer?

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Their are simple readings on ADHD on this topic in Additude Mag. I have let my husband read this. It helped him and I get to a point that he believes me. In fact he and my friends will also ask me if I took my medicine if I start acting my way that I do without the med. Maybe you could try starting their. Hope this helped some.

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Stopped making excuses long ago. A sense of humor does wonders. It is the times I lose touch with that sense of humor, that cause me the most problems. See the duck, be the duck. Let that negativity roll off your back and swim on.

I have come to a point where I will not waste time on people who are negative. I used to try to change their ideas to positive ones, but found that it was wasted effort and energy for the most part. I try to surround myself with paople who have positive attitudes and outlook on life. There are so many possibilities. Not always the easy way to go but it sure beats feeling sour all the time!

Jennifer

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Your friend lacks knowledge and doesn't really seem interested in rectifying this. Being ADD does not have thing one to do with intelligence. . . ADD effects our ability to consciously control our focus and attention span. Frankly I wouldn't even bother with the friend let him think what ever he wants.

My ex-husband blamed my ADD and hormones for every thing too. It prevented him from having to accept the possibility that he was responsible for some things in the relationship too. As long as every thing bad was due to my ADD or female hormones then he didn't have any reason to put forth the effort to change any of his behaviors. . . . he is my ex-husband so I do not have any enlightenment to offer in the husband department

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I gave up long ago trying to convince my friend. I was just frustrated because he would say things like why can't you focus on this. Or you're so smart; but you can't remember some of the simpler things.

Now I just roll my eyes; and tell it just me. If he doesn't get it it is his problem not mine. I think he is ADHD and that is why I relate to him.

My husband I told stop trying to blame me for everything because between work, home school. I juggled much more than he has; and if he can't see that he is sometimes the problem then we will be ex's because I figure I don't need his blame. I do this sufficiently for myself. I just want some appreciation for what I do. Is that too much to ask?

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When I was diagnosed with ADHD I didn't want to tell anyone. The only one in my life that knew at first was my fiance, who is now my wife. But that was it.

I was actually afraid to tell people because I wasn't sure how they would react. But when I was diagnosed I would blame all my faults on ADHD, which isn't entirely true. Sometimes its not really your ADHD that is at fault, its just dumb luck or something else.

I believe 90% of what happens isn't your fault, you can only control 10% of what happens to you, the rest is all set on variables. Anyways, I did in fact start telling people that I have ADHD and some were understanding, but some... well they either ignored the fact that I had it, and didn't cut me a little slack while trying to cope with it. Or they just argued the fact it was just sheer laziness and not ADHD. I tried to explain to them it was and it was useless.

One friend of mine, argued all the time that I didn't have it, until one day when I blinked through an entire conversation with him and didn't even realize it. When he ended his talk with me, I started up again asking him the very first question of the conversation. I had not remembered anything he said. I call it blinking because I read about that in Driven to Distraction (great book by the way). Since then, he is understanding towards my ADHD.

But there is lots of qualities I love about my ADHD, when it comes to books (especially Dean Koontz's books) and computers, I love my hyperfocusing. It calms me down to read a great book, or fiddle with the computer for hours on end.

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i understand where you are coming from. I have given up on the idea of trying to convince anyone of my ADHD. I on the other hand do expect my husband to have some understanding.

It is difficult sometimes to follow a conversation especially if the person is going on nothing of interest to me. life can come at you fast, I do my best but sometimes it is so frustrating my screw ups. like today I thought I heard 11:30 and missed the parade.

Instead of my family making sure I knew the time they assumed I heard them correctly. Sometimes i just want say it really was your screw up because you assumed. I wonder if I ever will get it. or GOD forbid I am Alzheimers. But then I amaze myself with my intuition or inventiveness, I have probably at least 20- passwords for my computer accounts that I remember; and can read a book in a day and half. And I say Pure genuis.

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I'm going to the doctor this Friday to be evaluated for ADD. I am positive that I have it. However, I remember that the last time I even suggested to this psychiatrist that I might have it, he immediately dismissed my suspicions -- citing that I was too smart.

Last night, my grandmother told me that there's no such thing as ADD, I'm very smart, and that if anything I'm just too stubborn and don't want to learn certain things. (I'm incredibly bad with directions and knowing where I am in my city. Although, I had no problem navigating in Pinellas Park, FL where the streets are organized by a numbered grid-like system. SO much easier. Oy!)

What should I tell my doctor? I will be honest with him and tell him exactly what symptoms led me to believe I have it. But, I'm afraid that he won't believe me. I'm sick of being called lazy, a smart girl who doesn't live up to her potential, stubborn, unmotivated, scatterbrained, and impulsive. Most of all, I'm tired of feeling like a moron when I have an IQ of 140 and various other intelligence-validating things. sigh

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the1bun,

You may have to find a doctor who is knowledgeable about ADHD. Child psychiatrists and pediatricians generally know more about ADHD because they have had more training with it. My husband had seen 5 psychiatrists and none of them picked up on his ADHD. A general practitioner, who was extremely knowledgeable about ADHD picked up on it. I knew he had it before that but he didn't believe me at the time.

Intelligence has absolutely nothing to do with it. In fact, in my experience, most of the individuals I know with ADHD are very intelligent. There is evidence that Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein might have had ADHD. Our neighbor, who has an IQ over 180 and has taken part in special tests regarding his high intelligence, has a severe case of ADHD. It's quite obvious to anyone who knows him.

Elaine

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