Unfortunately, there are a lot of myths about ADHD that are still believed. My husband was diagnosed at age 45 even though he has had it all his life. Being treated made a tremendous difference for him. Personally, I enjoy educating others about the true facts of ADHD but it can be frustrating as well when others don't understand or believe you. Here in America, there are varying levels of understanding, which are beginning to improve some. Unfortunately, the media sends out a lot of incorrect information that people believe. No one has the time or the interest to devote to researching what the experts know about ADHD. They rely on what the media tells them or outdated information. Educate yourself so you can better answer them. www.chadd.org is a good place for up to date information and there are a lot of good books out there. One I would especially recommend is "The Unfocused Mind" by Thomas E. Brown. He has a website too but I don't know what the address is offhand. I'd have to get back to you on that if you are interested. Good luck, Elaine

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Thanks for that, I would love as much info as possible, I have also found that the media portrays ADD/ADHD in a very negative way, and that medication is really bad!!! I believe there is a time and place for meds and that if nothing else has worked ie alternative therapy, then more damage than good can be done. I have also found that normal peaople think that ADD is a physical disorder, and that if they can't see it, then it is not there.

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There I go again, I have not got my thoughts through properly, I don't want anyone to misunderstand me. What I mean is, I think the media portray a very negative image about medication, to the point where when faced with the medication question, it makes it a far harder decission because of all the bad press. For me meds have been life changing and I only wish I had had this opportunity when I was younger. I do believe that as parents find out and learn about their children, there will be a growing knowledge of adult ADD, but it certainly is not happening very fast in my country.

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When I try to explain how ADD effects me I get the response "that sounds like laziness to me" which is extremely deflating. I have friends that think I use the diagnosis as an excuse for procrastinating. They just don't understand that even though I could verbalize the steps I intend to take to organize my closet, when I stand in front of it I turn into a deer in headlights and don't have a clue what to pick up first. It is very frustrating to speak about with normal people. They just don't get it.

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I have done so much reading lately because my son is having so many problems with middle school. I understand ADD and know that my son is struggling because of it and because his doctor decided to change his medication. He was doing well with it. I do not know why the doctor has to go changing it. My husband does not understand ADHD and thinks that my son is being difficult and lazy. The funny thing is that I think my husband has ADHD too. I am printing out alot of articles from this site and I will give it to him to read. I think or hope that it will help him understand what our son is going through. It is very difficult for others that do not have ADHD to understand what it is like to live with this disability. I get very frustrated with my son sometimes and yell at him and then I feel horrible because I know he can't help being the way he is. The most frustrating thing is when you have certain teachers tell your child ADHD is no excuse. My child has a 504 plan, how do you get these teachers to soften up and help your child. They think because a child has done very well on their standarized test, that they are capable of doing well in their class without any help.

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I only discuss add with this forum as a venting board and my wife. thats it! It's personal. kindest regards, Paul

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Dear Paul,

I am an extremely disciplined person, with a tireless work ethic, and all the tools necessary for competence in my personal and professional life. In spite of all these virtues, without medication I would be able to function at only 50% capacity. Medication has changed my life. ADHD is a disability that substantially limits the ability to learn and work. I agree with you that one must be creative and tireless in employing strategies to compensate for the processing deficits associated with ADHD. Still, many of us require the additional support of medication in order to function in the world. In the case of ADHD, discipline is necessary but not sufficient.

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RE: without medication I would be able to function at only 50% capacity =============================

Good point Wounded Healer. =============================

All of us are so different. =======================

different jobs ===================

different business' ===================

different lfestyles ======================== different interests ======================== different upbringing ========================

with all that said, what works for one MIGHT not work for all. ============================== And one question I ask myself... what is my EXPECTATION for myself today. I write out 10-20 on a to do list. And do the 1-3 or 5 MOST important things for EACH day. ================================

Thanks for bringing up capacity at 50% issue. ==================================

We all sure need to bring that up! ===================================== Whether you choose meds or not, a system and a support system is a must. ======================

Kindest regards, Paul Happy holidays!

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And you know what...they generally understand what I'm talking about. I'm wondering if all folks don't have bit's & pieces of dis-organization in them...I see others experience moments when they too are clueless about what to do next, losing things...etc. My Wife who is generally supportive, but sometimes over the years has gotten angry and said stuff like...just take your Ritalin & DO IT! .... which in public is a bit disconcerting....she doesn't mean any harm ... she just doesn't think much about what she says and how it sounds...or what her tone of voice might be.

Anyway, I'm unemployed again...but that's pretty common around here (Detroit Metro Area) and even with mba's & Ph d's we're sitting around enjoying the fireplace on a cold winters day...

Except...I'm never sitting around. I'm constantly scheming & planning...my vision leads me to data research...actually, data extraction from textual sources...which tends to roll most folks eyeballs back-wards when I very quickly describe it...

Whoever started this thread wished for a spell checker...I have one for you (I'd better use it too) that works with browser forms like this...really a help...it's called ieSpell...just google ieSpell and you should be in business...

Your wish...& I'll find an answer....

Lost in SighBer$pace

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I don't tell anyone. Only my significant other and he was diagnosed as a kid so he had some idea of what it was all about. Even then, he had a lot of misconceptions. We've spent a lot of time talking about it. Everything I've learned, I've told him about which has helped considerably.

No way would I tell anyone else. It's none of their business. Besides, I've come to realize most people are members of the flat earth society (that's a joke.) It comes up in conversation every now and again and what drives me absolutely batty is when someone says they don't "believe" in ADD/ADHD. Really? I didn't know it was a religion. But those kind of comments aren't worth wasting my breath on.

Than again, some people are worth educating. You've just got to figure out which people are worth spending all that time and energy on to educate. And do they really want to be enlightened or are they happy just going around spouting off what we all know is nonsense? You've got to pick your battles wisely.

And know that once you tell someone, they're opinion of you will be forever changed from that moment on. That can be good or bad, usually it's not too good. Are you willing to live with that? I'm not. Even if I were to take the time to educate them, they'd still think what they think. It's a basic truth that you can't change other people, only yourself.

But mostly I just don't think it's anyone else's business to know about my medical problems or conditions. And since I think we're all superior to people without ADD/ADHD, it would just be cruel to rub their noses in it anyway. It's enough that I know.

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See "Silencing Skeptics: The Truth About ADHD" in ADDitude Magazine. Also, a summary of it "Snappy Comebacks to ADD Doubters: in ADD Myths & Realities.

Best wishes to you!

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I have this posted and carry it with me - hopefully it will help (sorry it is long): 18 Things Adults with ADHD Would Like Other People to Know

I have ADD; I cannot get over it or get rid of it - I can, however, learn to manage symptoms of it. Some days I will be better at this than others. I do not use ADD as an excuse. ADD can cause me to be distracted. Never assume that a careless word was intentional until you talk it over with me. I'm not deliberately misunderstanding you. I do tend to latch on to a picture of what you're saying, and it can be wrong. If I ask interminable questions, it's because I want to be sure I get what you're saying. It's a sign of respect for you. If I'm out of order, just tell me that. I get conclusions mixed in with facts easily, and with a little patience, we can work out what needs to come first, middle, and last. I want my partner to allow me to win (Do not focus on what I did not get done or what I did incorrectly, look for what I have completed and accomplished and ignore the rest.) Have the patience to allow me to learn what they are trying to teach. You are one of the people who sustain me and quirks, or no quirks I have every intention of meeting your needs. I try. Even if it looks like I am not. I am also as tired of failures (maybe more) than you are. Just remember I try. I am frustrated with my abhorrent short-term memory. I prefer to refer to ADD as "Multi Focal Cognition" a term that better describes my drifting thoughts and tangential conversations. The answer to the question: "Why can't you just get your act together and do things like normal people?" is: "Normal is a selection on a washing machine, imagine how boring we'd all be if we were all normal." ADD is not something that gets "cured," but that gets treated and something that one lives with every day. I will probably always forget thing, lose things, miss details and have difficulty paying attention. Some days will be better than others. We think a little different, just as it is tough to understand how we think in your mind, so it is with us to understand how your mind "works". It does not make us stupid or uncaring, just different! This is not anyone's fault, it just "is". Accept me for who I can only hope that you can someday relish my uniqueness.

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I am quite open about my ADHD. As an educator I think the biggest difference I've made is dicussing ADHD with parents of children with ADHD. I think that many times they appreciate hearing about it from an adult perspective. I

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When I first was diagnosed I absolutely believed that sharing and educating was the way to go! Now, I wish I could erase it from a few people's memories. I have a boss at work that appears to be the kind who wants to talk things through and learn from others, so initially when some mixups happened I was more then willing to talk to her about some of the issues. Those later showed up in an eval as "blames others" and "appears to expect special treatment" both of which I had to laugh about because both are soooo far from the truth. She has brought it up multiple times over the last 4 yrs and continues to tell me I just have to "choose" to think and react in the right way, i.e. her way. I'm done talking about it now. I am leaning more and more toward the just think I'm odd camp :) For my daughter, however, I am all about advocacy and education for her teachers. I let her choose whether to tell friends or not.

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I'll admit, I've discussed with a few people. My best friend, my family and a couple of colleagues at work. People I actually do talk with on a personal level. One other person I shared the info with, as well as some literature, was my manager. My main reason for trusting her, and being willing to share the information was she has an ADD son and I think she'd be more understanding.

She has started to read the lit I gave her, and she's now going to share it with her best friend, because she may have an ADHD teenaged daughter.

Knowing how under diagnosed it is in women, I have no problem sharing the info with people I believe will not act in ignorace or prejudice.

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I too have to consider who I am around before I mention my ADHD diagnosis. My closest friends no that I have it and can tell when I have an ADD moment.

These are frustrating at times, but they can also help me laugh them off also. I get great support from my treatment team, husband of 24 years and close friends and relatives.

My doctor once told my husband and I that he wanted to try me off of my meds and my husband told him that he couldn't stand to be around me without it. I did't take it personal because I couldn't stand to be with myself either.

I guess that I am one of the lucky ones to have so much support. I am 42 now and was diagnosed when I was 30. Before the medication life was pretty miserable out there. I just make sure to take my meds like I am supposed too. Thanks

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Oh, I wished we all lived in a world where it is 110% acceptable to discuss mental health issues in the same way that most people discuss physical health issues...just as the medical facts, thank you very much! Well, unfortunately we don't live in that world - there are still plenty of members of the general public who, despite being well-educated and having the best intentions, still see mental health issues as character flaws, not legitimate and treatable conditions. Even if they do accept these conditions as legitimate, there is so often a great stigma attached to anything remotely related to mental health. I feel very fortunate to have grown up with a parent who is a health professional, and on top of that a locally well-known advocate for mental health awareness and treatment - and it still took me until three months ago (at age 24) to get diagnosed with ADD. Go figure. Anyhoo - so, because sadly there are plenty of people out there who do not think that ADD is "real," or if it is that it's something that's "acceptable" to have, the fact that I have ADD is not something I choose to share with the general public.

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