You're a great parent to your ADHD child. Holding on to these wise reminders will make you even better.
by Wayne Kalyn
Sometimes life has its way with us.
Your son asks how your day went when you get home from work, but the dogs are pawing you and demanding to be fed, so you say, "Later, Billy! Can't you see the dogs are going crazy?" — and you never get around to it.
You tell your child, "Maybe next time," when she wants to help you cook dinner, because you're busy and don't have time to clean up the mess that you know it will generate.
You are tense about meeting a deadline at work, so you yell at your son for something you would usually forgive him for.
You cancel the road trip you promised your daughter, because you have to clean out the basement.
Parents of ADHD kids love, support, advocate, and pray for their children. No one does it better. But when life hits the spin cycle and chores, work, filing taxes, and making momentous decisions like whether cable or The Dish is the way to go, parents may lose their bearings — and lose sight of their child's needs.
A gem of a book titled Always Kiss Me Good Night: Instructions on Raising the Perfect Parent (Three Rivers Press) will guide you home. J.S. Salt, a writer who lives with his wife and son in Los Angeles, had the brilliant idea of asking 1,000 kids, "If I could tell my parents how to raise me, I'd tell them..." Some of their answers are below, complete with age-appropriate misspellings.
"Beleve that I could acheve my goels." —Ava, 10
"Don't screem at me because I am small and I am not perfect." —Jessica
"When I'm crying, say nice things." —Daniela
"When I'm down, raise me up." —Eric, 10
"Keep your promises better." —Jeanette, 10
"Sit down and have a conversation with me." —Kathleen, 11
"Love me like you've never loved anyone before." —Auyar
"Say, 'I love you,' once in a while, not just when I'm leaving for school." —Amber, 11
"Don't make me wear stupid hats when it's cold outside." —Cecil, 9
"Sometimes can you play with me instead of saying no?" —Frank, 10
"Stop talking on the phone and talk to me." —Erin, 9
"Make me Be Beautifull." —Jackie
"Buy the kind of ice cream that I like, not the bad taste good price kind." —Arthur, 8
"Pick me up and through me in the sky." —Maryia, 9
"In the car if you give them a chance you can find my radio stations are as good as yours." —Leon
"Let me make a mess when I doing art." —Addison
"I like piano, but I would like to stop. Life is good when your a kid so you should have some fun."
"If you ever have a problem, listen to me. Maybe I can help." —Dylan
"Let me show you all of my creations." —Charles, 9
"Read to me (even though I can read)." —Amanda, 9
"Admit that when I do something rude, and then you do the same thing, it's rude too." —Aviva, 9
“Take me somewhere special once in a while, by myself, without my sister.” —Vivi, 11
"Brighten up those dull Sundays." —Zachary, 9 1/4
"Put good food that I like in the ferge." —Matthew, 10
"Eat dinner with me!" —Jessica 10 ½
"All I need you really already gave me and this is love, careing, and a roof over my head, and a good family to come home to after school." —Amanda, 9
"Never forget to kiss me good night." —Lauren, 10