I continue to flounder within the minor leagues of life success, wondering when I will gain the technique and skill to move onto the major leagues in relationships and career.
by Jane D.
The emotional tipping point occurred sometime between when the Ex-Boyfriend walked out the last time and when the Boss was canned. Both were a lot of fun to be with when times were good, but both abruptly left my life, disappearing now for good. I feel like the rug has been pulled from under me and I’ve fallen into an emotional abyss. I need to fashion a new chapter for myself and start all over again.
Suddenly friendships, relationships, work, job and life seem extremely fragile and I am beating myself up, Rocky Balboa-style:
I must have driven both the Ex-Boss and the Ex-Boyfriend away. My fault, I think.
“I always end up alone and having to start all over again,” I tell a good friend, referring to the professional and personal.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” she says. “I always ask myself, what did I learn from this experience? If we stop learning, what's left?”
My gut reaction? I wish that I could have a lobotomy and forget the past. I always knew that nothing lasts forever, but when someone, walks out the door and doesn’t return, the door slam still hurts.
Why do certain jobs or relationships, and their eventual, fated, conclusions mean so much to me?
What is the point of having a relationship with someone? If I don't need to have biological children, what is it I'm so worried about? And while, I'm off on this tangent, though I love children, and think they are cute, realistically having a family seems eons away. Especially as I continue to flounder within the minor leagues of life success, wondering when I will gain the technique and skill to move onto the major leagues in relationships and career.