Relationships are all or nothing for adults with ADHD. Either we're fixated, or we're bored and indifferent.
by Jane D.
Looking back to the failed relationships, so common among adults with attention deficit disorder (ADD / ADHD), I can see as clearly as day that I grew bored of these guys. Bored not just because of their quirks, but because I truly lost interest—much as it is with everyone else.
It is the semi-sadistic and perhaps indifferent man who catches my attention. The sister says that I want the abuse. I wonder if it isn't ADHD and the fear. I picked up a book the other day about ADHD and relationships, written by a fellow ADDer. I read the whole thing and kept nodding and saying, "Yes, yes, yes, that's me."
I am a hopeless romantic, suffering from black-and-white-cookie thinking (AKA all or nothing). I either click with someone or I don't. I need a man with spice, whatever that means. I need someone kind of indifferent—maybe because I need my space.
I wish that the stupid ex-boyfriend had listened to me when I tried to tell him why I was so paranoid about him being perennially late; it was the fear of dating another adult with ADHD. He started humming the Tigger song from Winnie the Pooh, and blamed scattered thinking on creativity. In many ways, it was a slap in the face. The sister says he sounds immature, but who knows? Maybe he has ADD, too, and he just didn't want to face reality.