Published on ADDitudeMag.com

Adult ADD Guide to Healthy Confrontation

Use these conflict-resolution and management skills to communicate your difference of opinion with a trusted friend, loved one, or colleague, without fighting, losing confidence, and without letting an upset tone of voice or short fuse cause confusion or hurt feelings.

by Beth Main


It seems like people with adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) either seek conflict or try to avoid it at all costs (perhaps as a result of some painful encounter in the past).  I suppose the same can be said for the general population -- most people just aren’t adept at confrontation.  But I do believe this is a skill most of us ADHDers could benefit from acquiring.

Have you ever heard the phrase “care enough to confront”?  When I first heard it, I thought it was an oxymoron.  Why would I want to argue with someone I care about?  Wouldn’t it be better to keep the peace and spare her any discomfort my disagreement might bring?   This line of thinking reflects a false belief that raising a debate has to be ugly.  I have since learned that confrontation is healthy if you do it right.

Confrontation isn’t yelling or fighting.  If practiced in a constructive manner, you'll simply acknowledge that your viewpoint is different than the other person’s and then try to work together to seek a resolution.

Healthy confrontation is synonymous with caring because it helps us...

Here are some healthy ways to initiate a confrontation:

Here are some successful strategies to use while you’re in the midst of a confrontation:


What’s your confrontation style?  Do you tend to fight or take flight?  Regardless of whether you’re drawn to conflict or shy away from it, these strategies should go a long way towards improving your personal and professional relationships.


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Source: Adult ADD Guide to Healthy Confrontation