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ADHD Supergirl

Facing a tidal wave of impossibility, my daughter, unaware she was doing it, pulled out the ADHD secret weapon – hyperfocus.
ADHD Dad Blog | Wednesday June 24th - 1:33pm | More June 2009 Blogs
 

In my last blog post my daughter, Coco, found herself in the middle of an ADHD Perfect Storm of missed assignments, overdue work, broken promises, and looming deadlines on the night before the last day of her 7th Grade school year.

She had spaced a Social Studies report and PowerPoint presentation on the history of Norfolk Island. And she had told her teacher (who’s opinion of her really mattered to her) she knew how to make a PowerPoint presentation, when in fact she didn’t have the first clue. And it was 6pm at night, and the whole mess was due first thing the next morning.

Coco is understandably in despair, lashing out in panic when her mom tries to help, and trapped back in the barriers of constant expectations of failure that many ADHD and other LD’s know too well. And, doubly frustrating to me, I’m hearing this in dramatic installments from both her and my wife, Margaret, over the phone from three thousand miles away in Los Angeles. I try to do what I can to help keep this from being a defeat that defines the end of this school year for her, but being a Dad over the phone is not the same thing as being a Dad that’s there by a long shot. I have to hang up and wait to hear how it will turn out.

Three hours later I get a call from my wife and daughter. Facing a tidal wave of impossibility, Coco, unaware she was doing it, pulled out the ADHD secret weapon – hyperfocus.

After finally allowing her mom to show her how to make a basic PowerPoint page Coco demanded to be left alone to figure out the rest, do her research, write her report, and make her presentation. Over the next couple of hours she typed and moused away, never leaving the computer in the living room, never taking her eyes off the screen, mumbling and musing to herself over interesting things she’d found or new ideas she’d come up with as she worked. Never once did she get distracted or bored or even notice anything in the world except her Social Studies project.

And with self-doubt and second-guessing banished due to some kind of emergency decree in her head, she blazed through it.

Margaret said it was an amazing thing to witness. Coco didn’t see what was so amazing, but she was proud and happy that her report was done and the PowerPoint was safely tucked onto a flash drive for school in the morning. The self-hatred and panic banished, she and her mom were now going to have some ice cream and then get some sleep. We’ll keep working on the organizational and other skills to deal with the procrastination problems, but this time Coco’s ADHD hyper-focus saved the day, and by the way, she got an “A.”

With all the sometimes overwhelming challenges that ADHD presents to children and adults, it seems only fair that it also can give you an awesome positive ability to pull out when we need to bust through the barriers and realize we’re not stupid, lazy, or crazy after all. We might even have super-powers.

4 Comments:

  • Posted by Frank South - Jul 21 2009 @ 8:00 PM
    re: Awesome
    Hi Penny, Thanks for the cheer for Coco. She's having a great growing up travel summer seeing relatives from Georgia, South Carolina, Delaware, and New York with her Mom and Nana driving around in a van on the mainland. They're back home in Hawaii Saturday, and can't wait to see them. Planners - Coco's got 'em, but we're used to getting a couple at the start of the school year for when the first gets lost. By the way, the pictures on your blog (adhdmomma.blogspot.com) of Luke before and after diagnoses and meds are amazing and touching. What a beautiful, expressive face he has. And man, his expressions captured my own feelings of change after diagnoses. Thanks for the note Penny, and continued good luck with all you're doing and sharing.
  • Posted by Frank South - Jul 21 2009 @ 7:49 PM
    re: Hyperfocus Example
    Hi JP - I'm very gratified that some of what I write resonates for you. I was also undiagnosed for most of my life and I identify with hitting real challenges later in life. There's always a flip side to everything that happens in life, but don't you find that finally knowing what's actually going on in your brain gives you a baseline sense of confidence that you never thought you'd have? That's what we hope we can give both our children, or really I guess what they can give themselves with a little knowledge and guidance from us. Thanks again, JP, for reading and commenting.
  • Posted by JP - Jul 2 2009 @ 4:03 AM
    Hyperfocus example
    I can relate to your daughter unwittingly drawing on her ability to hyperfocus as a survival technique in a pinch. I did that repeatedly all the way through graduate school and during my early career, even bragged about it and was admired for the ability to pull things seemingly out of my hat. The problem with being undiagnosed then was that I never was coached to learn any other way of doing things and I ran into some real challenges later on in life. Coco is fortunate to have knowledgable and supportive parents. Providing positive feedback and accessing needed resources and tools will allow her to discover more strengths and be proud of her unique and creative self! Thanks for sharing, from the perspective of a Dad, some of your personal family experiences; they are real for a whole lot of people out there.
  • Posted by adhdmomma - Jun 25 2009 @ 1:06 PM
    Awesome
    Go Coco! Moments of clarity and greatness like these do so much for the self-esteem. My ADHD son experiences hyper-focus regularly. It is great when he's writing or building legos. However, it can turn 6-yr-old disappointment into a seemingly never-ending toddler tantrum. I'll take the disappointment overload to also have the moments of confidence and accomplishment any day! Oh, I've been searching for "student planners" lately to be prepared for the next school year. I found a couple really great ones for elementary age but I know there are many for older kids too. They might be helpful for Coco (some have a space to list items that need to go home and come back in addition to recording assigments. those for older kids have long-term assigment planning tools too.). I just googled "student planner."
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