I tend to be very self-conscious about my ADHD behavior.
by Rebeka Covell
I know that I have ADHD. I know that I can get really hyper, and silly, and basically act like a four-year-old who just downed a two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew. I realize that this may be slightly annoying to some people (OK, MOST people). I am aware that I sometimes get on people’s nerves, so I always get self-conscious when I feel myself getting hyper.
If I’m around my family or close friends and I notice myself getting silly or talking at the speed of light without so much as pausing for a breath--standard ADHD behavior. I feel like I’m driving everyone crazy.
I don’t want people to roll their eyes and ask, "Is that annoying, hyper girl going to be there?" So I am constantly asking my friends if I’m annoying them, just as a self-check on other people’s feelings.
I feel comfortable with my family and friends, and I want them to tell me if I’m being annoying, so I can calm down as best as I can, and train myself to not act silly around people I don’t know as well. So every time I feel annoying I ask if I’m being annoying. The only problem is that every time I ask, they say "no." This leads me to believe that they’re just being nice, and not telling the truth. Usually I end up asking, "Are you SURE I’m not annoying you?" and "Just tell me if I’m driving you nuts," until eventually they reply: "The only thing that’s annoying me is you repeatedly asking if you’re annoying!" By then, they’re officially annoyed.
I guess I should just stop asking if I’m annoying, because apparently, the incessant questions are actually more irritating than the speed-talking, giggling and bouncing around like I have ants in my pants.