ADHD College Blog

Archives: July 2008

5 Things I Hate About ADHD

This list started out as "10 Things I Hate About ADHD", but then I lost interest in what I was doing.

I’m always thinking about what I hate and love about having ADHD. Here is my "Top 5 Things I Hate" list. Stay tuned; tomorrow will be the "Top 5 Things I Love" list.

1) Losing things. I’m always misplacing everything and as soon as I proclaim that it’s officially gone forever, it turns up.

I go around saying "I can’t find my _" (insert any of the million things I lose every day) and as soon as I announce it out loud someone says, "what are you talking about, it’s right here." I end up looking like an idiot. Although my first set of house keys has yet to show, and I’ve long since given up on them.

2) Ritalin. (This is also one of the things I love). I hate that I have to take it everyday to function normally. It’s annoying to have to take my pills every single morning.

I just want to wake up, eat breakfast and be able to accomplish the same things as everyone else without ADHD medication. Sometimes, it feels like I’m cheating when I do well.

3) Being a blabbermouth. I’m always talking, talking, talking. It’s hard to remember to stop talking and let other people talk too. Sometimes, after one of my long rants, someone who doesn’t know me well have a funny look on their face. Then I get embarrassed.

Also, when I’m on one of these super-fast, super-long talking sprees my volume tends to go up, until I’m talking way too loud. I want to quiet down, but I hate it even more when someone tells me to quiet down. Usually then I just give up altogether.

4) Not being able to focus long enough to watch a whole movie without getting bored, or read a book without skipping to the end about halfway through. I can’t help it; I just have to know how it ends!

I’m always fast-forwarding, or skipping ahead. And those are only fun things; completing all the tedious details of a project, or writing the conclusion of a paper are even harder, and more important.

5) The fact that this list started out as 10 things and then I couldn’t think of anything else that I hate about ADHD. My eyes are always bigger than my stomach. Here I am, thinking I could easily write a hundred things I hate, and when I get to four I loose interest. Impulsiveness rules my life, instead of the thinking and planning that rules everyone else’s life.

My ADHD Career Path

When I grow up I want to be a hairdresser, no, a dental hygienist, no, an architect . . . such is the career path of an ADHDer.

When I grow up, I wanna be a…

When I was little, the answer was always "A pediatric dental hygienist." Now, I have no idea why I ever said that. Just the thought of touching other people’s teeth all day makes me cringe. Nope, not for me. Maybe I just liked the big words; I don’t ever remember playing dentist.

One thing I do remember playing is hairdresser. My mom or aunt would let me style their hair, as long as I really tried to make it look nice. Back then, I didn’t have Ritalin (I hadn’t even been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder-ADHD) and I’d start out very careful, concentrating on making them look fabulous. Every single time I tried this, I’d get bored after about 10 minutes and start thinking wouldn’t it be funny if… It was all downhill from there. They would wind up with half of their hair looking great, and the other half would be sticking straight up, or have tons of clips that I used in my hair. Someone should have caught the ADHD right then and there, and after a while, no one would let me anywhere near their hair.

Another thing I remember playing is carpenter. My brother and I would get out the pretend hammers and drills, and Dad’s tape measure and go around measuring everything in the house, and cutting the doors, railings, and everything that we thought needed fixing.

Now, he’s a plumber, and I’m working towards being a civil engineer. Not too far off! Clearly the hairdresser career failed before it started; I think my career choice was mostly motivated by the ADHD, and not an actual interest in hair. Even in my dental hygienist stages, my mom always said, "She’s going to be an architect when she grows up."

Nowadays, architecture has more of a historical approach, and you need an engineering degree to actually design buildings. Turns out, moms know a lot more than you give them credit for.

I’ve been in the civil engineer phase for a while now (and I’ve invested two years, and thousands of dollars) in turning this phase into a career. I just hope I don’t change my mind anytime soon. Although I have always wanted to be a professional shopper, or maybe an ice cream taste-tester…

Home Alone - The ADHD Version

Mom was only trying to help us stay organized while she went on vacation; but with two ADHD kids alone in the house, it’s hard to keep up with her list!

This week my family is on vacation, relaxing on a beautiful lake in Maine. And I’m here; at home, working my butt off. Yup, life stinks.

Actually my brother’s home too, because he couldn’t take the week off either. And when the parents are away… all semblance of healthy, clean, neat and organized goes out the window.

My mom left a list of things to do while she was away on the kitchen table. Things like put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and then run it; do laundry so you have clothes to wear to work; put your shoes away when you take them off. She also put some ridiculous chores like mow the lawn and pick the weeds (my bother); and vacuum the floors and clean the bathroom (me). I think her list is somewhere on the kitchen table, buried under bags and wrappers from Taco Bell, Burger King, and empty soda cans.

They left on Saturday. It’s only Tuesday, we’ll get the chores done on Friday, before we leave to join the vacation for the weekend. I’m not sure if it’s kids in general that couldn’t care less that the clothes are on the floor, the sink is full of dirty dishes, and the beds aren’t made, or if it was a bad idea for her to leave two ADHD kids home alone for the week. Either way, procrastination is the word of the week, and T.V. is the only chore for us.

Mom was only trying to help us stay organized, and make sure that we got up, found clean clothes, ate breakfast and made it to work on time this week, but with two kids and a whole lot of ADHD, it’s hard to keep up with the list! Besides, we both leave early for work, and when we get home we’re tired. We can’t cook, but we can drive to McDonalds! Just let us relax and watch this one show… We’ll clean up right after that.

Chewing on My ADHD Habits

I’ve discovered that chewing gum is a great way to help me combat my ADHD fidgeting and it helps me stay focused at work.

One thing I’ve found that really helps me to keep my focus is chewing gum. You’ll almost never find me without a piece, it’s one of my tricks to combat the small attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) annoyances I face.

If I’m at work, I’m chewing gum. If I’m in a lecture, I’m chewing gum. Often, when I’m driving, I’m chewing gum. The mindless chewing somehow helps me focus on my work; it’s kind of like fidgeting, which helps those of us with ADHD. However, I’ve found that gum is less annoying to those around me than tapping a pen, drumming my nails, or shaking my legs.

I probably go through four packs of gum a week, because one thing I can’t stand is stale gum. It’s gross tasting, it’s hard to chew, and it distracts me more than nothing at all. Needless to say, I’m spitting it out and getting a new piece every 1-2 hours, depending on the type.

I’m pretty picky about my gum, mostly because mint flavored gum gives me a stomachache after about 20 minutes--not good if you’re chewing it 24/7. One of my all-time favorite kinds is Trident; the flavor lasts longest out of all the kinds I’ve tried. Stride is pretty good too, Orbit isn’t bad, but most of their flavors are mint. Gum that has flavored liquid inside is really good for about 10 minutes, but after that, it gets stale too quickly. I also found that traditional flat sticks of gum like Doublemint, Juicy Fruit, and Extra don’t last very long either.

If you like to fidget while working, I highly recommend chewing gum instead. It’ll please everyone who is driven crazy by pen tapping, and moving around, and you might even burn 3 or 4 calories in the process.

Starting My Day the ADHD Way

ADHD is not only a daily struggle, it’s a morning fight.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is not only a daily struggle, it’s a morning struggle. Especially for me, because I wait to take my meds until just before I leave for work so I can get the most use out of them during my nine-hour day. Getting out of bed, showered, dressed, and making it to work without forgetting something at home is almost a superhuman feat… more like a super-ADHD feat.

I have a lot of alarm-related problems. When I finally get up, it feels like my body is twice as heavy; it takes physical effort to drag myself down the hall and into the shower. As soon as I get out of the shower, I want to check my email, or listen to music, but what I really need to be doing is drying my hair, so I don’t look like a crazy person all day.

Deciding on an outfit is hard for me too; I can never seem to leave the first thing on. Needless to say, my room’s pretty messy when I leave. The flat iron and blow-dryer are usually on the floor, waiting for anyone who dares to come in and burn their foot at 7am.

Almost every day I leave something at home. The most common item? My phone. Of course I don’t realize it’s missing until I’m already at work and it’s too late to go back. I’ve found it in some pretty strange places too (hamper anyone?).

Sometimes, I leave my house without shoes on, and when my feet hit the pavement, I think, "Wait, where are my shoes?" I’ve left my calculator or highlighters at home just because I was sick of lugging them around in my purse all the time and I took them out. Now, everything stays in there, because I know I’ll forget.

The worst thing to forget? MY PILLS! When I’m in a rush to get out the door I don’t stop to get my meds before I leave the house. I’ve learned to keep some in my purse for this reason, but let me tell you, I learned this the hard way -- through nine hours of torture!

Talking in ADHD

Learning to maintain balance in group conversations is an everyday challenge for a person with ADHD.

Those of us with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) often have trouble with group conversations.

It’s frustrating when you’re constantly worrying if you’re talking too much, or too loud, or the conversation shifted five minutes ago and you haven’t caught up yet. All of these things have happened to me at one time or another and I understand the stress it causes within the group.

I have no problem talking for hours, as long as it’s one-on-one, and not in a big group of people. In a group, I tend to do one of two things.

Option 1: I end up dominating the conversation, talking loud, too fast, and never letting anyone get a word in edgewise. I somehow end up in the middle of the circle, and sure, I’m entertaining, but I’m not applying the first skill kids learn in school: SHARING!

And soon enough, if you don’t learn to take turns, and share the spotlight, no one wants to be your friend. It takes an outspoken person to be my friend. I need friends that say “just shut up for a second!”

Otherwise, there’s sure to be some unintentional hurt feelings.

Option 2: I try not to say too much, I end up saying nothing, I get bored, I get lost, I stand there looking dumb.

If the conversation isn’t interesting to me, or it’s confusing, my eyes glaze over and I start thinking about something completely unrelated. All I really want to do is leave but I can’t be rude. So I sit, feeling tortured through a conversation I am not contributing to one bit.

Sometimes, the discussion is so enthralling that my mind goes crazy, and I have to think for a few minutes to gather my thoughts. By the time my mouth forms the carefully chosen words the conversation has shifted, and I appear to be blurting out a completely random thought. I get some weird looks, but if only people could rewind the conversation five minutes, and insert my comment it would all make sense.

As someone with ADHD, learning to balance conversation in a group of people is an everyday challenge. One of the reasons I hate group projects in school is that they’re simply too overwhelming for me.

The ADHD Drug-Free Side of Me

I often wonder whether my ADHD medication is really helping. Recently, I suffered through an entire day without it before realizing they do help - a lot!

I often wonder if my ADHD medication is really helping me, or if I could do things just as efficiently without it. Now I know, it helps! Unfortunately, I had to suffer through an entire day without it before coming to this conclusion.

An hour at work without my meds would have convinced me I had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) if there’s ever been a doubt in my mind. It was pure torture! For the first hour or so, I didn’t know what was wrong, just that I felt giggly, and really really tired at the same time. I felt like everything I said was embarrassing, even if I would have said it normally.

Without my meds, I get really self-conscious that I’m saying dumb things, and people are rolling their eyes, or snickering behind my back. I ended up not making the usual morning small talk, because I just didn’t know what to say, without bursting into some random story.

Finally, I realized what was going on, and I went to the bathroom to hide out and dig through my purse for some pills to save me. Nothing. I must have run out the last time I took them in the car on the way to work, and now, I forgot to refill them. Great.

It’s hard for me to explain what I felt like today. It took all the effort I could muster to stop myself from getting up and leaving work. At 11 am I thought I’d never make it through the entire day. I wanted to cry. I couldn’t possibly sit there all day, I felt like I’d go crazy. Even though I’d done it many times before, today it felt like they were asking me to willingly submit to Chinese water-torture. Oddly enough, I was also afraid I might scream, or blurt out whatever was on my mind at that second. I felt like I didn’t have control over what my body would say or do.

Another thing I found was that I had a terrible time focusing on my work. I was supposed to be working on a challenging project that my boss thought I was ready for. Boy, did he pick the wrong day for that! It was hard for me to really get interested in the work, and it was hard for me to force myself to do the work. Thankfully, the project isn’t due until tomorrow, so I have a lot to do in the morning.

I made it through the day and I’m at home and I didn’t get fired, but that was possibly the longest day of my life. If I ever forget my meds again, I’m driving straight home to get them, even if I’m an hour late. Or, I’m taking my lunch break to go back home for them. Anything to save myself from repeating today!

Three Common Phrases in the ADHD Vocabulary

One of the standard symptoms used for ADHD diagnosis is "Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly."

"Huh?"; "Were you talking to me?"; "What did you say?" These are probably the three most common phrases in my vocabulary.

The DSM-IV lists one criterion for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) as: Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly. My younger brother (who also has ADHD) and I like to repeat this to each other when one of us is spacing out and not responding.

My mom asks: "Bekah, do you want strawberry or banana yogurt for lunch? Can you hear me?" Followed by, "Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly!" yelled from upstairs.

My classic response, "What? Were you asking me something?"

We joke around about this, and at home it’s funny, but when it happens at work, in a meeting with a professor, or at a doctor’s appointment, it’s not as laugh-inducing as it is around the kitchen table. In these cases I try to avoid the huh?! response as much as possible. At work, if I forget what we’re talking about while my boss is giving me instructions I try to repeat what he told me to do, so that he’ll fill in anything I missed. This saves me from appearing ditzy or careless.

Also, before I finish a project, I usually have to double check what I did, and repeat out loud: "So, I called … and I sent out pricing for … and I wrote up the proposal for you to go over, was there anything else?" Otherwise, I’m afraid I’ll overlook something, a mistake that could cost the company some serious money if everyone’s too busy to check my work carefully.

Once, a couple of months ago, I went to see a neurologist because I was having horrible migraines on a daily basis. He was just making small talk, and he asked me where I was in school. For some reason, I couldn’t understand the question he was asking me. It was like another language. Where am I in school?! What does that mean? I couldn’t decide if he was asking where my school was located, or what year I was in, or what the name of my school was. I sat there dumbstruck for a few minutes until he repeated the question, and I finally just chose to tell him I go to college in Boston. I guess that answer was sufficient, because he didn’t question me further, but he did give me a funny look.

He was probably thinking to himself “often does not appear to listen when spoken to directly.”

ADHD Bedtime Story

My poor sister has to tolerate my ADHD sleep struggles. All I want to do is fall asleep. Sorry sis!

During the summer, I sleep on an air mattress in my sister’s room, because her room has air-conditioning and my room doesn’t. I love the cool air, but we don’t exactly have the same sleep habits (you know how us ADHDers tend to be), so she doesn’t always love having me in her room.

Problem #1: She goes to bed early; I’m usually not tired until after midnight. Tiptoeing into her room at night shouldn’t be a problem; but don’t forget my ADHD, that’s where I get annoying. I almost never remember to move my air-mattress into her room before she goes to bed, so I end up dragging it in, letting all the cold air out while I make multiple trips to my room for blankets, pillows, and millions of other things I forgot. When I bring in the blankets to make up my bed, sometimes the blankets end up piled on top of her… while she’s sleeping.

Problem #2: Occasionally, I have a hard time getting to sleep. I lay there for what feels like forever until I eventually get fidgety and hyper and I’m sure I’m going to burst. This leads to me getting frustrated and annoyed at myself because I can’t do something as simple as sleep.

A few months ago, I found this sleep-recording thing that helps me calm down and fall asleep. It’s called Pzizz, and it plays music and soothing sounds and there’s a man’s voice talking over it. I find it relaxing… my sister doesn’t. She calls it "that creepy man thing." She says it keeps her awake because it plays for 30 minutes and I’m asleep after five. Without it, I’d be awake for hours.

Problem #3: I have alarm clock issues. I set like five alarms just in case one doesn’t work. Or (more likely) I turn it off and fall back asleep or I simply sleep through it.

My sister wakes up with the first alarm at 5:40 am. Usually, she throws something at me, yelling either "GET UP!" or "TURN IT OFF!" This process repeats itself four more times until I finally shut all the alarms off and sleep for 20 more minutes until my mom wakes me up. My poor sister, who doesn’t have to wake up for anything, gets stuck listening to my obnoxious ringtones before 6 am.

Sorry!

Does My ADHD Annoy You?

I tend to be very self-conscience about my ADHD behavior.

I know that I have ADHD. I know that I can get really hyper, and silly, and basically act like a four-year-old who just downed a two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew. I realize that this may be slightly annoying to some people (OK, MOST people). I am aware that I sometimes get on people’s nerves, so I always get self-conscious when I feel myself getting hyper.

If I’m around my family or close friends and I notice myself getting silly or talking at the speed of light without so much as pausing for a breath--standard ADHD behavior. I feel like I’m driving everyone crazy.

I don’t want people to roll their eyes and ask, "Is that annoying, hyper girl going to be there?" So I am constantly asking my friends if I’m annoying them, just as a self-check on other people’s feelings.

I feel comfortable with my family and friends, and I want them to tell me if I’m being annoying, so I can calm down as best as I can, and train myself to not act silly around people I don’t know as well. So every time I feel annoying I ask if I’m being annoying. The only problem is that every time I ask, they say "no." This leads me to believe that they’re just being nice, and not telling the truth. Usually I end up asking, "Are you SURE I’m not annoying you?" and "Just tell me if I’m driving you nuts," until eventually they reply: "The only thing that’s annoying me is you repeatedly asking if you’re annoying!" By then, they’re officially annoyed.

I guess I should just stop asking if I’m annoying, because apparently, the incessant questions are actually more irritating than the speed-talking, giggling and bouncing around like I have ants in my pants.

An ADHD Med-Free Haircut

A tip from one ADHDer to the next: even if you think something is a really good idea at the time, it might not be.

This Saturday I decided to take a break from my ADHD meds. I woke up and just didn’t feel like taking them, and it was just about the only day of the week when I didn’t need them to function at work, or doing homework.

ADHD med-free, I was silly, hyper, and carefree all day. I skipped around the house, started 10 things, like cleaning my room, and doing the dishes, and reading a book, and didn’t finish any of them. And for once, it didn’t really matter.

That day, I was also going to get a long overdue haircut. I went to the salon, and feeling risky, told my hairdresser to just "cut it off." She asked how short and I replied, "Oh, just do whatever you want."

Thank God, my hairdresser also happens to be my aunt. Otherwise, I might have walked out with some crazy style that I could never recreate as I ran out the door to work, almost late, with coffee in one hand and my shoes in the other. She suggested that we just take a little off the ends, and cut short layers in, with shorter bangs in the front. Impulsively, I was ready for a change, so I immediately said "yes." This could have turned out to be a disaster; I could have woken up and hated it the next day.

Thankfully, my aunt didn’t push it too far from the normal, even though I said she could cut it into a short bob with thick bangs. I really would have regretted that. Days later, and I still love my new haircut, it’s all the things I said I wanted, and it’s even easier in the morning than the straight, boring hair I had before. A tip from one ADHDer to the next: even if you think something is a really good idea at the time, it might not be. Ask someone you trust, or take a few days to think about it. Imagine if I didn’t have my aunt to know a short haircut was a bad idea…

You Know You Have ADHD When…

I try not to get too worked up over these silly little ADHD lost-and-found, forgotten-and-remembered antics that happen on a daily basis.

This is a perfect story for one of those "You Know You Have ADHD When…"

This weekend my favorite shoe store, DSW, was having a big sale. Conveniently enough, I was on the hunt for some new heels for work. If you’ve ever been to DSW you know that they probably have something like 500 different styles of shoes, all in one big store. And I’m not exaggerating. It can be a overwhelming for someone with ADHD. There are aisles and aisles of shoes. Usually, I head straight for the back, to the clearance section. During this massive sale, however, almost all the shoes are on sale, and you have to go up and down every row to find sale shoes.

Another thing I forgot to mention, I’m a size 6, so all the display shoes fit me. This is part of the reason I love shoe shopping so much. This is also where my ADHD gets me in trouble. I drift from shoe to shoe, picking one up and putting it on, then something else catches my eye and I move on… up and down every row.

I’m sure the employees love me; as I leave a trail of rejected shoes in my wake. Putting it back where I found it?! No way, I saw something else I liked better; I have to try that shoe on RIGHT NOW!

After about 45 minutes of trying on shoe after shoe (I especially like trying on funny looking ones that I’d never buy) my mom and I had narrowed it down to two pairs. I took off the pair I was trying on and realized… where are the shoes I was wearing when I came in? What shoes was I wearing when I came in? I gave my mom an ‘oops, silly me’ look and she replied, "put your flip flops on, we’re ready to go." Ok, I was wearing flip flops (not very helpful, because I have about 20 pairs).

"Mom, do you have my flip flops?" My mom rolled her eyes and said "well, what row were you in when you put them down?" Of course, I had no idea, and so the search continued.

At least my mom remembered that they were bright pink flip flops. How hard could it be to find bright pink flip floops? Apparently pretty hard, because 15 minutes later, no luck. Just as I was about to cut my losses and wear the new shoes right after buying them my mom thought to ask if I had put them in my huge purse.

"Why would I do that?" I asked, as I opened my purse to double check. Sure enough, there they were, bright pink flip flops, right over my shoulder the entire time. At this point, I had to laugh at myself.

I try not to get too worked up over these silly little lost-and-found, forgotten-and-remembered antics that happen daily. In the end, I had two new pairs of shoes, my old flip flops, and a funny story.

Checkin’ Out the Library

Any suggestions for places to study, tips to work faster, or advice on staying focused on homework? The library doesn't work.

Well, I tried to do homework at the library; turns out I hate the library and homework.

Right after work today I gathered my books and papers, which were scattered around my room, and went to the library. I found the silent reading room, thinking that would be the perfect place to focus on my homework. Looking back, I have no idea why I thought the silent reading room would help me; I hate silence! It’s so un-distracting that it ends up being distracting.

If my brain can’t find an external distraction, it just distracts itself with random thoughts and daydreams.

Ideas bounce around in my head like someone just dropped a million super bounce balls, and maybe only one is about my homework. Now, how am I supposed to find that one tiny bouncy ball in the sea of colorful thoughts threatening to trip me and knock me flat on my back?

Needless to say, as much as I hate it, the library is just about the only place I can think of that I could actually ever potentially get anything done. Coffee shops are out, because the smell of food is too tempting to resist. And, as I mentioned before, home is not an option, because I’d rather clean my room than get started on homework.

Any suggestions for places to study? Tips to work faster, or stay focused on the assignment?

I Hate Homework

I've decided that I need to go to the library to study. Hopefully the peace and quiet will help me focus.

Lately I’ve been dreading something. It’s called homework. Now, you may be thinking homework… but it’s the summer! Let me explain:

Last semester was a little more than I bargained for and one of my teachers agreed to let me take an incomplete for the semester. Basically, this means I have to re-do 10 assignments over the summer, and take the final exam when I get back in September. Hopefully, after all this, I can earn a passing grade.

Just printing out the syllabus (of course I lost the first one) gives me a stomachache, because environmental engineering bores me to tears, and the textbook could be written in a lost language for all I can understand. I’m majoring in civil engineering, but all I really want to learn about is buildings, roads and structures, so water filtration and eutrophication of lakes (whatever that means) do not hold my attention for one minute. I guess that had better change soon, because this was a required class, and I need to do well.

I’ve decided (ok, ok, my mom decided) that I need to go to the library to do my homework, because my house is just too noisy, and there are too many distractions. The only problem is that my local library is only open like, three hours per day or something ridiculous like that. So, I have to drive two towns over just to get to a library that stays open until 9pm. Another thing to add to my daily to-do list… sure, pile it on. It’s not like I needed sleep or anything.

Tomorrow is library: day 1, I’ll let you know how it goes.

Will this Day Ever End?

I start to get fidgety around 3 pm and the last few hours at work seem tortuously long.

I start to get fidgety around 3 pm everyday. Any guesses why? Yup, I take my ADHD meds at 7am and, like clockwork, at 3pm I feel tired, annoyed, and I start checking the clock every 3 minutes, feeling like I’ll surely die before I get to go home.

No one at my work knows I have ADHD, and I don’t really want to explain why I’m popping pills at my desk, so I try to put up with it, and do the best I can until 4:30, when I shut down my computer and run out the door.

I’m not sure how productive that last hour and a half is, often I’m in the middle of a project and constantly lose my focus, or make careless errors that don’t make any sense. Thankfully, I know this about myself, so I always check and double check what I’m doing, and then quickly skim over it once more the next morning. Another way I’ve found to cope with those last torturous hours is to save some mindless chores until the end of the day. If I absolutely can’t focus on what I’m supposed to be doing I check my e-mail and respond to things that have been piling up in my inbox threatening to distract me all day. If I still have hours (or minutes) to kill, I do things like setting up folders for jobs; organize the many piles that seem to appear on my desk daily, or enter information from faxes we received throughout the day into my computer.

That last hour and a half seems as long as a six-hour day. In the morning I’m so busy and focused on my work that time flies by. Sometimes it gets to be 2pm before I realize that I forgot to stop to eat lunch. As soon as my long-acting stimulants are out of my system, I’m spinning around in my chair, getting over-zealous with the highlighters and basically waiting for the day to end so I can get in the car, roll the windows down, turn up the music, and sit in traffic the whole way home.

Who Has Time for Sleep?

There is so much I want to do, but there aren't enough hours in the day.

One of my bad habits is really catching up with me lately. It’s called sleep deprivation.

I always stay up late because there are so many things to do that I don’t have the time for during the day. I go to work. With the commute I can forget the hours between 7am and 5pm. Then I try to go to the gym, but if I go to the gym I have to take a shower. If I take a shower, I have to blow dry my hair or else it will look terrible. And after that I really should do some homework for the course I’m making up over the summer. (More on that later.)

I feel like I’m the mouse in that children’s book If you Give a Mouse a Cookie. One thing leads to the other leads to the other and before I know it it’s 11pm. But the day doesn’t end there. I did all these things I needed to do, but I didn’t do any of the things I WANTED to do, like watch TV, surf the internet, read a book, or go shopping. One of my biggest pet peeves is that stores and businesses don’t stay open later. Some of us really like to do our shopping at 10pm, but that’s when the store closes. And the gym only stays open until 9, so God forbid I could do my errands first, thus avoiding the whole shower problem. By the time I get home from the store or simply finish unwinding after a stressful day of work, change into my gym clothes, and drive to the gym, it’s already 8:30, and I have a half hour to squeeze in a condensed workout before they close up. As much as it annoys me that everything closes so early (well to me it feels early) I guess it’s a good thing, because if everything was open 24/7 I’d really never sleep. No matter what time I go to bed, I still have to get up at 6am and start my day all over.

Shopaholic?

I get so distracted in stores that there’s no such thing as shopping for one quick thing.

I’m not sure if it’s an ADHD thing, or just a me thing, but I really love shopping. I know some people who hate the mall; complaining that the dry air makes their eyes water, and the crowds make them claustrophobic. Not me! I walk into the mall, take a deep breath of the recirculated oxygen, and breathe a sigh of relaxation. I love clothes, shoes, purses, sunglasses, books... I even get excited about going to the store to buy deodorant.

The only problem is that I never ONLY buy deodorant. Or just the one pair of shoes I needed. Or the one magazine to read at the gym. Usually, I don’t even realize I bought so much extra until I get home. I get to the register, swipe my card, throw my bags in the backseat and head home. Later, I look in the bags and say "Where did this shirt come from, I didn’t buy this!" or "I didn’t need all these flip flops, but wow, I only paid $3 each. I guess I’ll keep them." In my life, there’s no such thing as stopping for one quick thing.

Everyone knows that if I’m going to the mall, or even to Target for a quick errand, I won’t be home for a few hours. Sometimes my mom sends my sister with me on simple errands just to keep me focused on buying only what we actually needed. Often my friends or family call me to check that I’m still alive, and ask why it’s taking two hours to buy milk.

I get so distracted in stores. I can’t help it; everything I see draws my attention. Needless to say, I probably end up looking like a crazy person wandering around lost. Sometimes I do get lost.

Very often I don’t come home with what I set out for, but I do end up with lots of other stuff that I bought just because it was on sale. That one-dollar section at Target really kills me. People try to warn me that it’s only one dollar if you buy one thing, not 30 things that you don’t even need, because they were only one dollar each. But I can’t help it, I love shopping.

Run for Your Life

Exercise routine: One day down, the whole summer to go.

This week, I decided I need to get some exercise. So, I coaxed my brother and sister into joining a gym for the summer. Last summer I joined a gym, and was determined to go every morning. That lasted for about a week. But this summer everything is going to be different.

My sister, who is more motivated than I am, actually wants to go to the gym. So when I whine and say "I’ll go tomorrow," she won’t take no for an answer. And she won’t go alone; I’m her ride there and back. However, this summer I was cautious about spending too much money on a membership I might use only for a week. I paid cash for a one-month membership, so I won’t keep getting charged if I decide exercise really isn’t my thing after all. And, I got it pretty cheap with my college I.D.!

My sister and I put on some cute matching workout outfits, loaded our iPods with upbeat music, packed a few magazines and prepared to walk on the treadmill. I think my brother may have been slightly embarrassed to be seen with us, looking as unathletic as can be. I’m pretty sure we couldn’t have been more obviously beginners if we had taped signs to our backs.

Needless to say, we figured our how to turn the treadmill on, and even entered our weights to calculate how many calories we burned. After 45 minutes we didn’t look as good as when we started, and we sure were tired. We decided to call it quits for the night and save the other scary torturous-looking contraptions for another day.

Exercise routine: one day down, the whole summer to go.

Rise and Shine

Alarm? What alarm? You could try to wake me with a firecracker and I'd still stay in bed.

I’m not exactly what you’d call a morning person. Not even close. I’ve tried just about everything to wake myself up, but I always fall back to sleep unless someone else wakes me up.

Right now I use two alarms on my cell phone set 10 minutes apart, and then my iPod alarm goes off 5 minutes later. And after all that, my mom or brother comes in to wake me up before I finally roll out of bed.

There is something about an alarm that I can ignore, no matter how loud or obnoxious it is. I’ve tried beeping alarms, music alarms, even my phone alarm, which I set on vibrate put under my pillow at night. Somehow, while I’m still practically asleep, I forget that I have work and really need to show up on time. I just turn the alarm off and fall back asleep. Even if the alarm's across the room, I just walk over, turn it off and I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow.

Thank God my brother leaves for work half an hour before I do, and my mom gets up to make my lunch, breakfast, and coffee everyday. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I’d sleep until 10 or 11am and probably be fired within the week.

Everything But the Kitchen Sink

I just finished my most-hated chore: cleaning this disaster area I call a room.

No, no, we weren’t hit by a tornado, earthquake, or other terribly messy natural disaster. That’s just my bedroom. There’s a hardwood floor under there somewhere. And it’s about time I found it.

I just finished my most-hated chore; cleaning this bomb site I call a room. Even though I’m perfectly content to leave it as is and find things I need when I need them, my mom isn’t happy when she walks by every day, or God forbid, actually needs to go IN. She’s been telling me to clean up for almost a week, and finally I just buckled down and got it done today.

My plan of attack was to start with the clothing, which was about 80 percent of the problem. When I get dressed for work everyday I usually try on at least three outfits before I’m satisfied. Needless to say, the rejected clothes get thrown on the chair, bed, over the edge of the hamper, anywhere but back in the closet or dresser where they belong.

As I sorted what was clean and dirty I found a lot of stuff that doesn’t even belong to me... My brother’s Celtics jersey that I wore for about 3 hours, my mom’s flip flops that I had thought were mine, and about half of my sister’s wardrobe that I had borrowed at some point were all mixed in with the clothes I decided just didn’t feel right that day. I also found three tank tops I bought a week ago and forgot about, my iPod that I’ve been looking for, and a Diet Coke can that I thought I should recycle, but was too lazy to bring downstairs.

Even though I hate cleaning my room, I love finding all the stuff I’d forgotten about. And remembering what my chair, floor, and bedspread look like isn’t bad either. Maybe I’ll try to keep it clean instead of letting it turn into a dreaded project in the first place.

Starting tomorrow, I’m going to put clothes back on the hangers, or just stick with my first choice of outfit. Unless I’m late for work...