First Day of School Anxiety

Tomorrow is my first day of my new college classes … I’M SCARED!!!

I know college isn’t really that scary, and right now I’m not even scared of the homework and tests and all that – I’m just scared of my first day. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that might happen, and agonizing over every little detail of my day. Uncertainty only brings unease in someone like me who needs time to prepare and adjust to a new situation.

I don’t want to be the new kid – I’m much better at blending into a crowd. I’m supposed to ask the professors to sign an add form (that’s add as in addition, not a form for my ADD) to allow me into the class. Do I approach them at the beginning of class? Or wait until the lecture is over? Where should I sit? I don’t know a single person and everyone else will already have friends. What if we have to work in pairs or groups and I don’t have anyone to work with? What if the professor already assigned work and I’m behind on the first day?

As if the stress of class isn’t enough I have a two-hour break between my classes. What do I do? Where do I go? I don’t know where the cafeteria is, or the bookstore, or anything for that matter. It’s not like I’m living on-campus like I did my freshman year at my first college – so I don’t have the option of hiding out in my room until I figure things out this time around. And I’m not a freshman again, so there isn’t a group of other scared kids that I can tag along with.

I don’t like needing help or being the one that’s lost. It makes me feel like everyone’s looking at me and thinking what’s that girl doing here? What if I can’t find a place to sit and wait for two hours? It’s going to be 20 degrees tomorrow, so I can’t just walk around outside and figure out where things are. And I can’t really just walk up to someone and ask them what I should do for two-hours.

I’ve done just about all I can think of to prepare for school. I’ve packed a bag with notebooks, pencils, and pens. I brought my iPod and a book to read. I printed out a campus map so I hopefully won’t get too lost. I even laid out my clothes for the morning. But I still feel so unprepared. It’s like I’m lacking the thing I want the most – experience. I wish I could fast-forward this first week – this first month; until I’m more comfortable with where to go and what to do.

Wish me luck; hopefully I won’t stick out too much in the crowd.