ADHD Parenting Blog

Archives: October 2009

ADHD and Pet Therapy

I hereby bestow upon Benjamin “Benny” Wegner the title of Honorary Therapy Dog, in recognition of his performing therapeutic interventions on my ADHD daughter.

After school last Friday, Natalie left for a respite weekend at her Aunt Ann’s house. As I’m still recovering from gallbladder surgery, and Don was away for a guys’ weekend with friends, I was looking forward to the break from the demands of ADHD parenting. The timing couldn’t have been better -- from my perspective.

But, from Natalie’s point of view, the timing wasn’t great. She’d had a very difficult week, both at school and, to a lesser degree, at home. She had a couple of days at school where, no matter how the teacher tried to help, Natalie couldn’t settle down enough to concentrate on anything. And Thursday evening, during her respite time with her (20 year old) cousin Hannah, she let loose the old fit-throwing monster: she threw a book at Hannah, shoved the dining room table, and refused to go to her room for a time-out. Hannah almost had to call in her special ed teacher mom, Natalie’s Aunt Teresa, for back-up, but ended up handling it herself.

After racking my brain to figure out what could possibly be going on in this child’s head to explain this behavior, I decided it must be a delayed reaction to my surgery. She wakes up in the morning to find mom gone. Mom’s in the hospital; hospitals scare her to death. She misses school, visits mom in the hospital several times, and doesn’t know what to make of this mom who can’t move without groaning, whose lap can’t be sat on, who you can’t bump with your wiggly elbows and knees. Yeah, I’d say that’s enough to throw off a kid who, like many ADHD children, has problems coping with change. So, from Natalie’s perspective, staying home -- with a nearly-back-to-normal mom -- and following her regular routine would probably have been preferable.

So, I wasn’t surprised that when it was time to leave for Aunt Ann’s on Friday after school, Nat put on her sad face. No, she wasn’t ready to go. Not yet. Just wait. I was afraid she’d decide she wasn’t going, and then what would I do?

But, no! “Do you know why I’m kind of excited to go to Aunt Ann’s?” Natalie asked.

“No. Why?” I said.

“Because I can pretend that Benny is my dog.”

Benny is Aunt Ann and Uncle Fred’s one and a half year old Cavachon, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel/Bichon Frise mix. Benny, you’re my hero!

I hereby bestow upon Benjamin “Benny” Wegner the title of Honorary Therapy Dog, in recognition of his performing the following therapeutic interventions:

• He welcomes Natalie expansively when she arrives at Aunt Ann’s house.

• He offers opportunities for exercise and “green time”, by demanding long walks and strenuous outdoor play.

• He puts up with being picked up, rolled on, and other varieties of unintentional roughness.

• He scratches on the door of the room where Natalie sleeps, inviting her to get up and start another exciting day, and making her feel wanted.

• He rides along in the car for all the weekend’s adventures.

• He’s unconditional love wrapped in an attractive, furry package.

The weekend went well, both for me, and for Natalie. Benny will probably spend the day sleeping. He deserves a rest. He did his therapy dog job, and did it well. Thanks, Benny!

Meet the Winners of ADDitude's Back-to-School IEP Challenge!

Although we thank everyone who shared their most effective classroom accommodations for ADHD kids, these lucky five will receive free downloads of ADDitude’s ADHD at School eBook.

It’s time to announce the winners of ADDitude’s Back-to-School IEP Challenge! Back in August, we invited readers to share IEP accommodations that help their ADHD children succeed in school. Five parents were chosen at random from the more 30 responses we received by contest end, on September 30. Although we would like to thank everyone who took the time to comment, those lucky five will receive a free download of ADDitude’s ADHD at School eBook as a show of our appreciation.

And the winners are:

1. JLHoover: Her third grader feels less rushed and can focus on spelling tests when she’s pulled out of the classroom to take them.

2. Lisa Gibson from Littleton, Colo.: Lisa’s son receives incentives for completing work at school, which greatly reduces homework hassles.

3. Gina Houx-Kotarski from Dolores, Colo.: Gina contributed several great IEP strategies, including obtaining a second set of books to keep at home, and having teachers fill out daily check-in sheets. The most thought provoking of her ideas, I thought, was to include her kids in their IEP meetings. That way, they can let their teachers know the best ways to support them. Plus, it gives kids ownership over the meetings -- which may help boost their self-esteem -- and sets the tone right from the start that everyone is working as a team toward a common goal.

4. Elaine Vakalopoulos from Dennisport, Mass.: This mom insisted on a thorough evaluation and Early Intervention for her adopted son. The payoff for her advocacy is a plan that sounds fabulous. Imagine this: scheduled “motor breaks” in a sensory room equipped with a swing, trampoline, and the like!

5. Cecil Huston: This mom took on a leadership role in IEP meetings. She prepares her own agenda, guaranteeing that she will be allowed time to discuss issues that she sees as priorities, in addition to those of the rest of the team.

What bright, committed, caring parents! Congratulations to them, and thanks again to everyone who contributed. And don’t forget, we’ve compiled all your great tips into a web-only article, "IEP Accommodations: What Works for Us." We'll continue the exchange of IEP ideas in that story, so check back often. Keep up the awesome advocacy, moms and dads!

ADHD Treatments: Searching for the Magic Bullet

So far, I haven’t found a magic bullet for treating Natalie’s ADHD and other special needs. Besides, it’s hard to hit a moving target.

A couple weeks ago, I emailed a fellow blogger mom, Jenn Choi. I'd been reading a lot about a parenting approach for ADHD kids that sounds fabulous. It’s one of those deals where you buy a set of CDs, and learn the system by listening to the CDs. They’re pricey, but for good reason. Experts should earn a decent living from imparting their wisdom to others. But, should I invest my money in this, my latest promising discovery?

Jenn owns the CDs, so I asked her what she thought. She thought just what I thought she would think. The CDs are great. But, they’re probably not a magic bullet.

Some people seem to find a magic bullet for treating their child’s ADHD. For some, ADHD medication cures all ills. For others, a certain supplement is “the answer” for their child. The CDs I was researching are backed up by heartfelt testimonials from parents across the country. They change lives for some.

So far, I haven’t found a magic bullet for treating Natalie’s ADHD and other special needs. Besides, it’s hard to hit a moving target. One day I’m looking for the perfect sleep aid, the next for handwriting help. This week, it’s managing angry outbursts, the next it’s dealing with all impulsivity, all the time.

I have spent a considerable amount of money already on therapies that I hoped would be magic bullets. Therapeutic listening, with its specialized headphones and CDs, had the potential to work wonders for a variety of Natalie’s issues. She didn’t like following the listening protocol, and I didn’t have the energy to make her follow through. I recouped some money by selling our barely-used equipment to another family.

We were able to borrow a weighted blanket from a friend instead of buying one. In theory, it made sense for Natalie, and it may have helped calm her, the first or second time we used it. But it wasn’t "the answer." On subsequent trials, it had no effect. We returned it with our thanks.

I’ve ordered yoga DVDs for calming, several different CDs to help with sleep, and fidget toys for focus. I tried chia seeds for Omega-3s. All different kinds of pencil grips. Rubbery things for Natalie to chew on for oral stimulation. I meant to install some therapy swings in the basement, but again, lacked the follow though to find a contractor to install the proper hook on a ceiling beam. Therapists -- we’re on number three. Meds -- too many to count.

I decided not to bite the bullet, not to try these particular magic bullet CDs. For now, anyway. Instead, I’ll do what seems doable, what feels reasonable to me, today. And I’ll try not to beat myself up for not trying harder, trying more -- newer -- better.

Until the next time I feel the pull of magic.

Update! ADDitude’s Back-to-School IEP Challenge: IEP Accommodations That Really Work

I’m going for a world record here -- let’s create the longest list of IEP accommodations for ADHD students.

Okay, okay! I’m late again -- this time on announcing the winners of ADDitude’s Back-to-School IEP Challenge. But I have an excuse, beyond my self-diagnosed ADHD by Proxy. I said good-bye to my gallbladder last week, and have been resting both mind and body. Now, I’m about halfway back to normal, for what that’s worth! Back to normal means back to blogging, thankfully, so here goes:

ADDitude’s Back-to-School IEP Challenge ended September 30, with more than 30 parents contributing their hard-earned wisdom about IEP accommodations that work -- in the real world -- for real ADHD children. Thanks to everyone who commented. There’s a wealth of information there. Here’s an excerpt from one of my favorite ideas: “My son's special ed teacher adopted a new plan this year inspired by my son's love for LEGOS. For every day that he does not get a time out, he gets a LEGO piece. After 10 pieces have been earned he gets to take them home. He brought his first baggie of LEGOS home last week and was so PROUD!”

Rather than let this, and the other great ideas readers generated disappear into the archives, we’ve compiled a web-only article summarizing the results. Keep adding your comments, and we’ll incorporate them into the article. I’m going for a world record here -- let’s create the longest list of IEP accommodations on the Web. You can read the article, "IEP Accommodations That Really Work," here. I hope you’ll return to it often to contribute and receive new ideas!

Five of the parents who participated in the IEP Challenge have been selected at random to receive a free download of ADDitude’s ADHD at School eBook. And the winners...will be announced on Wednesday! Please stop back!

Meet the Winners of My Blog-iversary Goal Setting Challenge!

These five goal-setting winners will receive either a one year subscription to ADDitude magazine, a copy of ADDitude's ADHD at School eBook, or ADDitude's ADHD Treatment eBook.

September 30 has come and gone, marking the end of ADDitude’s Back to School IEP Challenge. Thanks to everyone who participated by leaving comments outlining accommodations listed in your ADHD children’s IEPs. Before we announce the 5 people who won free downloads of ADDitude’s ADHD at School eBook, I need to announce the winners from my Blog-iversary goal setting challenge...from back in May. (Believe it or not, there are things I’ve neglected to do even longer!)

We also had five winners in that challenge. I already reported on one winner, Jennifer Covello, who made progress towards going easier on both her son and herself.

For out next winner, meet Dana Domalski, from Royal Oak, Michigan. Dana figured out she had ADHD when, at age 12 or 13, she read a list of ADHD symptoms. She wasn’t officially diagnosed with ADHD until 2001, at the age of 20. Adderall XR partially relieves her symptoms, but she’s continuing to work with her doctor in hopes of finding consistent relief. Dana’s goal was typically ADDish: to finally finish unpacking -- three years after moving. She’s been hitting it hard when she feels a flash of motivation, then coming back to it later when the feeling hits again. She’s made amazing progress, and is almost done. Friends who visit can’t believe it’s the same house! Dana is, deservedly, proud and excited by what she’s accomplished. (Dana, when you’re finished there, I have a closet...) Dana chose a complimentary one year subscription to ADDitude magazine as her prize.

Winner number three was Kim from Alabama, mother of 9 year old Mark. Kim’s been working on changing the way she interacts with extended family in regards to her son’s behavior. She’s working to stand up for herself more, and to put an end to their continuous negative comments. I’m so impressed with the strategies she’s using! She’s careful to clarify whether or not she’s asking for advice when conversing about her son. She’s also using what I’ve heard called the “broken record” technique -- repeating one, or maybe a few similar phrases when faced with criticism: “I don’t find that to be a problem,” and “that’s your opinion, not mine, and he’s my child.” Her extended family is becoming aware of when they overstep boundaries. For example, her brother apologized for offering an opinion in the form of a command. Not only is Kim improving her own relationships with family, she’s setting a great example for her son! Kim also chose to receive a complimentary one year subscription to ADDitude magazine.

Our fourth winner is W., mother of two. Her younger son has ADHD, and her older son has executive function problems. W.'s goals were to help the whole family by organizing the house, to take advantage of not being in crisis mode with her ADHD son, and to turn her energies towards helping her older son return to school in the fall more organized and with a better game plan. W. reports that her ADHD son ended the school year on a high note. His grades improved after getting started on ADHD medication. He made it the whole fourth quarter without a visit to the principal’s office! During the summer, W. continued to work with her son's doctor to fine tune his medication, especially those related to sleep problems.

W.'s older son entered middle school this fall, which meant he began switching classes. In order to help him manage the increased need for school organization that this change brings, W. planned to help him implement strategies from the book The Organized Student: Teaching Children the Skills for Success in School and Beyond, while sticking to her own strategy of helping him to get started, then slowly backing out of providing direct support as he gains the skills to manage independently. W. chose a one year subscription to ADDitude magazine as her prize.

And finally, our fifth winner was T., whose son M. has ADHD. T.’s goal was, after trying six different prescription meds with limited success and negative side effects, to try alternative treatments for her son’s ADHD. Two months into treatment with natural supplements, T. reported that overall they were working well. Although her son was still hyperactive and had some attention problems, he was happy, and was not suffering any negative side effects. Her next step was to try adding chiropractic treatment. Due to an email snafu, I’ve been unable to reach T. for another update. I’d love to hear if she found a chiropractor who thought he/she could help, and how the treatment is working. T. also chose a subscription to ADDitude magazine as her prize.

As usual, I’m so impressed by how resourceful, smart, and caring ADDitude readers are. It’s great to be part of the ADDitude community. Please stop back soon for the announcement of our five winners of ADDitude’s Back to School IEP Challenge.