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Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid blogAutism, bi-polar disorder, ADD, and LD

Out Of FocusRants, raves and idiocies from an ADHD perspective

Toys Are ToolsProduct advice for all kinds of growth

Can mom be calm?Raising special needs kids without anxiety or depression

GoAdoptionGift of Adoption Fund blog

Adrienne Ehlert BashistaAuthor, school visitor, book lover, and librarian

Easy to Love But Hard to RaiseBlog companion to the new collection of parenting essays edited by Kay Marner and and Adrienne Ehlert Bashista

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Archives: February 2009

posted: Friday February 27th - 2:35pm

Do I Need an ADHD Support Group?

If I get to take one evening a month for myself, having it revolve around ADHD is not the way I want to spend it.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
"I read some of your blog," my supervisor said, "and now I understand your situation a little better. I have a better idea of why you're leaving." And then, the question: "Do you go to a support group?" I get that question a lot. There is a support group in town for parents of kids with ADHD. And no, I don't go. The central Iowa chapter of...
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posted: Thursday February 26th - 12:33pm

Medicate Me, Please!

I’m rambling on like a sleep-deprived fool. Hey Doc, how about some meds for me, too?

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Natalie has always had problems with sleep, and, right or wrong, I tend to blame those problems on her attention deficit disorder (ADHD). When Natalie was younger, falling asleep was the problem. Even though taking a stimulant to help with sleep seems counterintuitive, a 7 p.m. dose of Ritalin used to help with that issue. In addition, Natalie has long had a pattern of waking up...
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posted: Tuesday February 24th - 10:47am

ADHD-Driven Unemployment

To paraphrase Ned Hallowell, ADHD drives some people to distraction. It’s driven me to unemployment.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I am turning in my letter of resignation in approximately 97 minutes. What in the world would lead me to give up a part-time, decent-paying job with paid vacation and sick time in this economy? At a library, no less, the perfect setting for someone who loves to read and write. ADHD-fueled desperation, that's what. And I don't even have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)! My...
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posted: Monday February 23rd - 12:16pm

My Big Blowup

And the countdown to self-destruction continues: seven...six...five...

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Last time, I wrote about how my part-time job has gone from being a stress reliever to a stress inducer, and how this impacts my ability to cope with the competing stresses of parenting my sweet, funny, exasperating child with ADHD. You know that request for one week of unpaid time off work that I mentioned yesterday? DENIED! Want to hear about my big blowup last...
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posted: Friday February 20th - 3:37pm

ADHD Parenting Cope-o-Meter

Lately, my ADHD parenting cope-o-meter has been hovering dangerously close to the “Danger: About to Self-Destruct” reading.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I had a real fuse-blowing, smoke-coming-out-of-my-ears, tears-running-down-my-face, sobbing-with-breath-hitching meltdown just last week. I threw a fit to rival Natalie's Top Ten Best of the ADHD Fit-Thrower's fits. When I'm asked what my greatest stressor is, I always say it's parenting a special needs child. But it's really much more complicated than that. Thus, I discovered my cope-o-meter: a highly sensitive measurement of my ability to...
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posted: Thursday February 19th - 10:19am

A Day in the Life of an ADHD Advocate

Between working with doctors on my ADHD daughter's medication adjustments and advocating for her special education, I spend a lot of time in ADHD-related appointments.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Another day, another ADHD-related appointment. Today’s outing was a med check with Natalie’s pediatrician. This time, instead of making any major changes in Natalie’s ADHD medication, we’re just adjusting doses. Thank goodness. Natalie is taking Ritalin LA twice a day now, with fairly good results, and starting today, we’re moving up to what we hope will be the ideal dosage. I’m crossing my fingers. Whew...
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posted: Tuesday February 17th - 11:10am

The ADHD Fever Effect

As my daughter's temperature went up, her ADHD symptoms subsided--the fever effect made the ADD go away. For a few days.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Have you ever noticed that having a fever reduces your child’s ADHD symptoms? Natalie crawled into bed with me at 5:30 Thursday morning. “I think I have a fever,” she said. Sure enough, she was broiling. On Friday, the fever persisted, and in addition, Nat complained of a sore throat. A trip to the pediatrician’s office resulted in a positive strep test. My...
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posted: Monday February 16th - 11:06am

The Smell of ADHD Impulsiveness

Like many children with attention deficit, my ADHD daughter lets her impulsiveness get the better of her and it really stinks!

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I went to bed with a headache. I woke up with a headache. Could that have anything to with the SMELL permeating our house? Natalie and several friends were playing upstairs in Natalie’s room last weekend while I worked in the kitchen. Lindzey came down to find a Nintendo DS game, and then ran back upstairs. The scent of too much perfume followed her...
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posted: Monday February 9th - 3:14pm

Medication Mix Up

Instead of treating my daughter's ADHD with Ritalin, I added a dose of stupidity.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
As if it isn’t hard enough to feel okay about medicating my ADHD child, yesterday I gave her an added dose of my own stupidity. Natalie was playing outside (thank God for a break from winter!) with several neighborhood friends when med time rolled around. I went into the house, grabbed her medicine and a glass of milk, and took them across the street to her...
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posted: Thursday February 5th - 2:23pm

Why Can't I 'Fix' Her ADHD?

I know my daughter's not actually broken. But some days I just want a magic fix to make all the distractibility, impulsivity, and anxiety go away.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Last night a desperate thought fought its way through the harried chaos of my brain and into my consciousness: I CAN’T DO THIS. I need to send Natalie away for a week -- somewhere — and have someone “fix” her. Sadly, “somewhere” doesn’t exist. And what she has can’t be “fixed.” I know, I know. She’s not actually broken, she’s just wired differently. And with...
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posted: Wednesday February 4th - 3:58pm

An ADHD Kid's Best Friend

Natalie's love fests with our family cat often end in nips and yowls. Yet, still, Smokey Joe comes back for more. Does he know?

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Aaron holds you upside down. Natalie holds you way too tight. Daddy doesn’t hold you at all. Mama holds you just right! Smokey Joe, our fat gray cat, loves Natalie, and Natalie loves him. And being Natalie, with her ADHD, she shows her love — sloppily, vigorously, exuberantly… …and often! In fact, every single time Natalie spots him — whether he’s asleep on a...
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posted: Monday February 2nd - 12:37pm

SuperBowl of No Impulse Control

This week's Top 5 ADHD-powered plays by my impulsive MVP, Natalie.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
In just the past week, my all-star ADHD daughter has really opened up her impulse-powered playbook to... 1. Pick up Daddy’s razor and run a finger across the blade 2. Dump out every bottle of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in the shower 3. Drink the last drops of beer out of the empty bottles under the sink 4. Pour several colors of paint on the garage floor, then brush...
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