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Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid blogAutism, bi-polar disorder, ADD, and LD

Out Of FocusRants, raves and idiocies from an ADHD perspective

Toys Are ToolsProduct advice for all kinds of growth

Can mom be calm?Raising special needs kids without anxiety or depression

GoAdoptionGift of Adoption Fund blog

Adrienne Ehlert BashistaAuthor, school visitor, book lover, and librarian

Easy to Love But Hard to RaiseBlog companion to the new collection of parenting essays edited by Kay Marner and and Adrienne Ehlert Bashista

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Archives: October 2008

posted: Monday October 27th - 11:47am

Safe Haven for Kids

It doesn't stretch my imagination to understand why the safe haven law may be effective.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
My coworker, Betsy, and I listened to public radio as we drove home from a conference a couple of weeks ago. She’s 24 and single, and at this point, anyway, doesn’t see herself as ever becoming a parent. A story came on about Nebraska’s Safe Haven law. I assume this story has made national, not just regional news—but here’s a recap: Nebraska’s Safe Haven law allows...
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posted: Thursday October 23rd - 2:04pm

My ADHD Kid's School Social Life

I hate thinking about the negative effects ADHD has on my daughter's ability to make friends at school.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Yesterday, I went from feeling the love as I described in my ADHD parenting blog, to feeling some pretty darn awful pain for my sweet, lovable, vulnerable child. Don, Aaron, Natalie and I were all in the living room last night, and Nat was talking about school. “Who do you like the most in your class?” I asked. She never talks about the social...
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posted: Wednesday October 22nd - 12:08pm

A Happy ADHD Family

Thanks to Natalie's special service providers, I maintain my sanity two nights a week.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I was “feeling the love” this morning. Looking at Natalie and seeing her beauty. Kissing her fingers, her soft little cheeks. Talking nice, not crabbing at her. Complimenting her. Enjoying her. Loving her. What’s up with this? Small changes make a big difference. We’ve gotten on a regular, reliable schedule with Nat’s services, and knowing that I’ll have help on a regular basis makes...
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posted: Wednesday October 15th - 1:15pm

I Want My Mommy

Forget the professional organizer, what I really need is a Mom.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
A professional organizer—who am I kidding? What I really want is a mom. Not a mom like me—one who doesn’t keep up with the laundry, goes to bed before her 12 year old, and almost never bakes. I want a REAL mom to take care of me; to take care of my family for me. My mom died of breast cancer when I was 13,...
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posted: Friday October 10th - 11:50am

Hooked on Mary

I have a secret. A shameful, embarrassing secret.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I have a secret. A shameful, embarrassing secret. I spent hundreds of dollars to get high. My drug of choice? Sessions with a professional organizer.Don’t laugh! I swear, the high was unbelievable! Unfortunately, as with many drugs, the high didn’t last. I’d beg, borrow—even steal--to get the feeling back again. The knee-deep clutter my child with ADHD creates leads me to crave the extreme opposite: precise, militaristic,...
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posted: Thursday October 9th - 12:35pm

Navigating the ADHD Provider System

Do you employ an ADHD Coach, or another service provider to help your ADHD child learn to organize? Who pays for that service?

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I’m no expert on services for kids with ADHD. As I wrote once before, even though I worked in mental health for 16 years before jumping ship and moving to Library Land, I find it hard to navigate “The System”. I trust and depend upon our case manager and service providers for advice, and just sign on the dotted line. Make that plural: lines. Dozens of...
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posted: Wednesday October 8th - 2:51pm

My ADDitude Life

The winner of "Tales of Destruction": What is the most expensive item your ADHD child has destroyed?

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
ADDs and Ends: Three Unrelated Stories Related to ADHD and ADDitude One Aaron, my sixth grader, has always been good at spelling. He hardly ever misses a word on a spelling test. In fact, I think he’s only missed one word this entire year: attitude. He spelled it like this: ADDitude! What a smart boy! Two I was looking through the new books in the youth area at the...
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posted: Monday October 6th - 9:21am

Talking About ADHD with Your Child

Have you talked with your child about ADHD? What did you say?

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I have a final thought to share from the Savarese family’s keynote address about autism: an audience member asked the Savarese’ if they told DJ he was autistic—if they used the tern autistic with him, when he was younger. DJ replied that he couldn’t understand spoken language until after he learned to read, so no, he wasn’t familiar with the word autism when he was...
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posted: Thursday October 2nd - 1:20pm

The ADHD / Anxiety Connection

Sometimes, treating a child's anxiety can trickle down to fewer ADHD symptoms that impair social skills and school performance.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Here’s another insight I gleaned from the Savarese family’s keynote address on autism: Anxiety plays a significant role in DJ’s daily life with autism. Treating his anxiety with medication and managing it through coping skills has helped DJ succeed (kick butt!) in a regular classroom. Does your child with ADHD have problems with anxiety? Mine does. Although she hasn’t been officially diagnosed with an...
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posted: Wednesday October 1st - 9:43pm

Addressing Differences in Our ADHD Children

Should we work to normalize the differences in our ADHD children, or should we expect others to accept those differences, and to view them as no big deal?

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Here's a provocative point to ponder that I took away from the Savarese family’s keynote address about autism that I wrote about previously: Should we work to normalize our children’s differences, or should we expect others to accept those differences, and to view them as no big deal? The mother of a 3 year old with autism said that her child’s teachers were advising her to stop...
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