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Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid blogAutism, bi-polar disorder, ADD, and LD

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Can mom be calm?Raising special needs kids without anxiety or depression

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Adrienne Ehlert BashistaAuthor, school visitor, book lover, and librarian

Easy to Love But Hard to RaiseBlog companion to the new collection of parenting essays edited by Kay Marner and and Adrienne Ehlert Bashista

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Archives: September 2008

posted: Thursday September 25th - 11:16am

Inspiration from Two Remarkable Parents...

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Tuesday night I attended a keynote address by Ralph, Emily, and DJ Savarese, sponsored by ChildServe, in Johnston, IA. DJ is a high school sophomore who is a non-speaking person with autism. Ralph, a professor at Grinnell College, and Emily, a specialist in autism, adopted him when he was 6. Ralph describes DJ’s journey from non-speaker to communicator, student, and activist extraordinaire in his extraordinary book,...
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posted: Wednesday September 24th - 8:16am

Therapeutic Listening

We've decided to try therapeutic listening to help my ADD/ADHD daughter, Natalie, with her sleep issues.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
As I’ve written before in my parenting ADHD children blog, my attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) daughter, Natalie, often has trouble getting to sleep at night. At our last visit, our pediatrician suggested we try an occasional Benadryl, and that if that wasn’t enough, she’d prescribe medication for Natalie to take nightly. The Benadryl does seem to help, but we’re needing to use it more...
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posted: Tuesday September 23rd - 8:20am

Natalie's Supercharged ADHD Brain

Stepping inside my child's revved-up, high-speed, never-resting ADHD brain can be an exhausting and clarifying experience.

ADD Parenting blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
When Natalie is riding in Don’s car, they listen to the radio. “Turn it up, baby!” Nat calls from the back seat. When I’m driving, it’s a different story. No music allowed. After all, it might interfere with Natalie’s back seat driving. “Go!” “Why did you slow down?” “Come on… green light! Green light! Green light!” “We aren’t in a hurry,” I say. “Relax.” “I hate...
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posted: Monday September 22nd - 7:48am

Off The ADHD Hook-Again!

It’s not as satisfying to get an ADHD respite if my husband is off the hook too. I feel guilty and, at the same, time want him to suffer!

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I’m telling you, Victoria: this has to stop! You know I’m all for moms of kids with ADHD or other special needs taking breaks to take care for themselves, and I do so, often, myself. Even though I know it’s important, I still feel guilty. Human nature, I guess. Or, more accurately, mama nature. I went out for a drink after work with my friend Sarah...
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posted: Friday September 19th - 11:31am

Decide What Really Matters

Here is a tip for tired moms of kids with special needs.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Today I have a tip for tired moms of kids with special needs. While watching Natalie work with her occupational therapist Tuesday morning, I flipped through a copy of Real Simple magazine. I came across an article about coping. Tailor made for me, huh? You know how I’m always complaining about feeling overwhelmed. I skimmed through it to see if I could pick up any...
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posted: Wednesday September 17th - 10:50am

A Gripping ADHD Tip

I guess I’m in a tip-giving mood, because here’s another ADHD parenting tip!

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I guess I’m in a tip-giving mood, because here’s another ADHD parenting tip! Natalie has been working with an occupational therapist, Summer Barber, at ChildServe (We love you, Summer!) for a couple of years, and one thing Summer works on with Nat is improving her handwriting. One of Nat’s problems with handwriting is how she grips the pen or pencil. Natalie has tried several...
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posted: Monday September 15th - 2:34pm

The ADHD Paper Chain

I've discovered a very useful creative tool for helping ADHD children better understand the passage of time and manage their anticipation.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I’ve been reading books about family traditions for a book review I just finished writing for Adoptive Families magazine, and I realized that we’ve started a new tradition with Natalie, for counting down to special occasions. It’s also an ADHD tip, of sorts, so I thought I’d share it with you. Nat tends to be a concrete thinker, as I’d bet a lot of kids...
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posted: Wednesday September 10th - 1:39pm

A Major ADHD Meltdown

I’m not as bad at parenting as all the witnesses to Natalie's ADHD meltdowns must think.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Yesterday was full of incidents that, each building on the one before, pushed Nat beyond her capacity to cope. Nat ended up miserable. I ended up looking and feeling like a terrible parent. I’m not as bad at parenting as all the witnesses to yesterday’s debacles must think (see assorted excuses and explanations below). My biggest mistake was in trying too hard--not knowing when to...
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posted: Tuesday September 9th - 1:19pm

The Icing on the Cake

Balancing the needs of my non-ADHD son with my ADHD daughter's demands is heartbreakingly difficult.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I hate the fact that, because he has a sister with special needs, my son Aaron often gets the short end of the stick when it comes to sharing parental time and attention. Aaron turned 12 on September 2, (I labored on Labor Day!), but we didn’t have his birthday party until Sunday, September 7. My fault, I was too disorganized and overwhelmed to get invitations out...
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posted: Friday September 5th - 2:18pm

What is Normal Anyway?

Are we a “normal” family, or aren’t we?

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
Are we a “normal” family, or aren’t we? Don was home later this morning than usual. Instead of leaving home at 7:00 am to commute to his office in Ankeny, he started his day with an 8:30 am meeting in Ames. I came downstairs after my shower, when I would typically wake Natalie up, and she was already standing at the kitchen table, eating breakfast (yes, she...
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posted: Thursday September 4th - 2:51pm

ADHD Age-Appropriate Behavior

I’ll take age-appropriateness in my ADHD kid—and celebrate it—whenever I can get it.

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
A few days ago I was reading "Terri's Special Children Blog, written by Terri Mauro, and this sentence, about why she tolerates a certain amount of talking back from her teenage son, really resonated with me: “When you've got a kid as developmentally off-kilter as he is,” Mauro says, “you take age-appropriateness where you can get it.” As I wrote in a previous parenting ADHD children blog...
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posted: Wednesday September 3rd - 1:06pm

No ADHD Respite for Me

My plans for a long weekend alone have been dashed--time to flip the switch back to "on".

Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa
I was really psyched up for the long Labor Day weekend. As I said in an earlier parenting ADHD children blog post, I’d been feeling even more overwhelmed than usual, and had made a plan to deal with it. A key component of the plan was to take a break from the constant chaos, vigilance, patience, noise, activity, sleep deprivation, and neediness of parenting Natalie, with...
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