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My Non-ADHD Kid

My ADHD daughter sucks up 99% of our parenting time and energy, and my independent and responsible son is left with the dregs.
ADHD Parenting Blog | Friday November 14th - 10:33am | More November 2008 Blogs
 
Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa

Every Wednesday, Ames’ elementary schools dismiss early, at 2:05 pm, so the teachers have time for professional development. Instead of an early dismissal, the middle school has a late start on Wednesday mornings, for the same reason.

On Wednesday morning, I drove Natalie to school, and then returned home to wake Aaron, and send him off to meet his bus on time.

As I drove home, I realized: I don’t know what time Aaron likes to get up on Wednesdays. I don’t know what time his bus comes. I don’t know what time his school day starts.

This child is 12.

Aaron is independent and responsible well beyond his years. He’s had to be. His younger sister, Natalie, has ADHD. She sucks up 99% of our parenting time and energy, and Aaron is left with the dregs.

I’m proud of him—he’s smart, loving, responsible, and caring. But this isn’t the life I want for him. I want him to have a mother.

Remember when I whined about not getting enough mothering, because my mother died from breast cancer when I was 13?

I’m alive, but I’m little more than a ghost of a mother to my non-ADHD son.

Next Blog » Indecision and Inaction

Previous Blog « ADHD Medication Dilemma

3 Comments:

  • Posted by Kay Marner - Nov 19 2008 @ 10:40 AM
    friends' children
    When I feel really bad I like to think of riends who have one child with disabilities, and two children who are younger than her. I'm sure they've had similar feelings and experiences, but they are growing up to be such wonderful human beings. That gives me hope. Kay
  • Posted by Orniphobe - Nov 18 2008 @ 8:47 PM
    My non-ADHD son
    It's the opposite scenario for us. Our ADHD daughter is older, her younger brother is autistic. He's perfectly happy to play alone but we force ourselves to interact with him to build on the communication skills. But we get sooooo frustrated with her, because she can't do anything alone, play alone, and demands our attention one way or the other. Even called 911 and hung up the other night.
  • Posted by teachermom - Nov 15 2008 @ 4:34 PM
    My non-ADHD son
    I think I inadvertently raised my youngest son to be able to entertain himself and take care of himself. He is so responsible at age 11. He had to learn to do things on his own because his older brother with ADHD takes up so much of our time and energy. We seem to always be dealing with a crisis at school or some emotional meltdown at home. Little brother has to wait his turn. It sure isn't fair.
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