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Daycare Daze

I hate having to choose between Nat's safety and her happiness.
ADHD Parenting Blog | Tuesday July 8th - 4:06pm | More July 2008 Blogs
 
Parenting ADHD Children blogger Kay Marner is mother to an ADHD daughter in Ames, Iowa

Natalie is not happy. Since I fired The Exorcist, I’ve been taking Natalie to Formative Years when I’m at work.

Formative Years is a commercial daycare center near our home. Nat’s gone there off and on for several years — mostly after school and on some school holidays. It’s a really good place, as far as group care goes. Great staff. Lots of toys and activities. The lead teacher in Natalie’s room, Allie, is also one of our favorite babysitters / respite providers. Nat’s friend Harry goes there daily. What’s not to like?

“I hate waiting!” Natalie wails. “We always have to wait at Formative Years!” They wait in line to go outside. They wait in line to go the bathrooms. They wait in line to get in the vans for field trips. Nat’s right. That’s a lot of waiting for a kid with ADHD.

When I pictured Natalie’s summer, I envisioned lazy mornings. Sleeping in. Staying in pajamas for hours. Now we’re back to: “Eat your breakfast — we need to leave! Get dressed! Find your shoes!”

I wanted Natalie to have carefree afternoons - playing with friends, going to the park, swimming. Now, “swimming” means 14 kids sharing two small plastic wading pools.

I could try to find another babysitter, but I’m scared. Without other adults watching, how will I know Natalie is safe? It’ll be a long time before I trust my instincts again; take a chance on bringing a “stranger” into our home, and trusting her with my children.

I was nearly in tears today as I packed Nat’s backback. “I hate Formative Years! I’m not going!” Nat yelled. I hope I’m doing the right thing. I hope Nat is better off safe than happy.

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2 Comments:

  • Posted by Kay Marner - Jul 10 2008 @ 11:10 AM
    Thanks for the offer!
    We live in central Iowa, but thanks for your offer! Natalie had a better day at Formative Years yesterday. She got ready without any problem, and parted from me fairly easily when I dropped her off. She did act out quite a bit last night, though, and when I asked her what was bothering her she said, "I hate Formative Years!" I'm hoping the problem is partly just because it's a transition, and I'm very appreciative that they had an opening and could take her back at short notice! It really is a very good program, and I know she's safe there. Kay
  • Posted by drep - Jul 8 2008 @ 5:20 PM
    RESPONSE TO DAYCAREDAZE
    HI,I'VE READ YOUR STORYS, & I WANTED TO TELL YOU, THAT I CAN RELATE TO BOTH YOU & NATALIE. I'M AN ADULT, WHO HAS ADHD, ASPERGERS, & DEVELOPMENTAL DELAYS, BUT I'M VERY INDEPENDENT TOO. I CAN RELATE TO NATALIE THOUGH, BECAUSE EVEN AT MY AGE, IT'S HARD TO WAIT, & TO PROCESS & UNDERSTAND CERTAIN THINGS, & I FIND THAT PEOPLE THAT AREN'T FAMILIAR WITH SPECIAL NEEDS, DON'T ALWAYS UNDERSTAND. I CAN RELATE TO YOU THOUGH, IN THAT YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT NATALIE IS BEING CARED FOR RIGHT. I'M NOT SURE WHERE YOU LIVE, BUT IF YOU LIVE IN MINNESOTA, LET ME KNOW. I USED TO TAKE CARE OF A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS, & IT WORKED OUT, SINCE I COULD RELATE TO THE CHILD IN SOME WAY. CALL ME OR E-MAIL ME IF YOU WANT, MY E-MAIL IS dringhausen@lifetouch.com, & MY # IS 952-212-8670. HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL.
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