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Douglas Cootey, a single father to four daughters, works hard to meet the challenges of managing depression, ADHD, and chronic motor tic disorders. He describes his frantic but fun-filled life surrounded by his loving daughters as a “living sitcom.”

posted: Monday April 21st - 10:21am

A Breakfast to Remember

Even when that some "thing" is moldy maple syrup that could have killed me.

My nice meal of waffles with real maple syrup was just interrupted by Mother Nature's latest terraforming project. The shame is that I could have prevented the horror that happened in my mouth. My 12-year-old, who I call “the Brownie,” wanted me to feed her, so I suggested we finish off the frozen waffles. This was met with jubilation. So, like the cool dad that I am,...
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posted: Tuesday March 11th - 12:09pm

Crazy, Stupid "Love" at the Parent-Teacher Conference

My hyper-friendliness gives women the wrong idea, and my impulsive words make things worse.

man blushing
Despite years of developing and using coping strategies to manage my ADHD, occasionally I slip up. As chance would have it, I usually make a fool of myself when this occurs. Obviously, I've dropped my guard down for a moment, so something painfully humiliating should happen. Isn't that how things are supposed to work? I usually laugh off these glitches in my behavior, but recently something...
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posted: Wednesday January 15th - 4:56pm

Did I Really Say That — Or Was I on ADHD Autopilot?

When ADHDers misspeak or mis-remember things, it’s better to laugh off the chaos that often ensues.

I was propped up in front of the computer and unable to do much more than move my mouse around. I had been sick with a cold for several days and was getting worse. I could feel my motor-tic disorder kicking in, so I needed a protein infusion right away. I called out to my 15-year-old and asked, "Can you make me a sandwich with the...
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posted: Friday November 15th - 2:27pm

No One Wants to Live with the Hulk

The author realized, finally, he had to change his angry ways.

the hulk, green monster
Earlier today I was on the phone with a mother whose son with autism has mood challenges. She and I talked about the difficulty of knowing when a child was misbehaving and when he was manifesting symptoms. My youngest daughter has epilepsy and is more than a little grouchy before the onset of a seizure, but she's so defiant and rude I often think she's just...
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posted: Monday October 7th - 6:55pm

How My ADHD Anger Hurt My Marriage and Kids

Learn to manage your hot temper—note: medication will not fix it—before you drive everyone away.

ADHD and anger go together like eggs and bacon, or peanut butter and jelly. Those food combinations may not be for everybody, and not everybody with ADHD has anger challenges, but ADHD anger is fairly common. Take an ADHD adult with his lack of social filters, toss in anger, and the results may be destructive — like lightning bolts that flare for an instant and fade just...
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posted: Wednesday September 4th - 11:56am

I Can’t Get on the Same Page as Everyone Else

Listen, write, and focus — all at the same time? That’s a bridge too far for this ADHD dad.

Handwriting, Writing
There was a meeting after church. My daughter was going to summer camp, and I needed to attend the parent meeting with her. I was happy that I had made it in time because I was sore from a back injury and my ADHD was bad that day. My focus kept wandering. I was lucky I managed to know which shoe to put on which foot,...
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posted: Monday June 17th - 10:01am

ADHD and Adrenaline: Perfect Together?!

I’ve been late for my daughters’ teacher’s conferences; this time I was early—by a day.

Time Flies, ADHD and Time Management
Have you noticed that your ADHD penchant for careless mistakes increases depending on how rushed, panicked, or tired you are? There are times when an adrenaline rush gives me laser focus, but every once in a while — OK, fine, frequently — I miss a beat. Where I notice this most is when I quickly scan text when I’m in a hurry. Then I’m more likely...
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posted: Friday May 10th - 10:30am

The Day I Over-Shared about My Daughters

There goes my ADHD again—speaking up before I could zip it up.

Oops, Social Slip Ups, ADHD social skills
As a dad of four daughters, I am accustomed to dealing with certain issues over the past 21 years. For example, the color pink doesn't phase my guy-ish sensibilities anymore. You can't be Santa and have an aversion to the Barbie aisle with its Gauntlet of Pink. I can also handle discussions about that certain time of the month without batting an eye. Yet discussing bra...
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posted: Thursday April 18th - 6:21pm

I Remembered I Forgot (Just in Time)

A sleepless night playing catchup leads to deep thoughts on systems, structure, and staying organized with adult ADHD.

If I thought ADHD could throw monkey wrenches into my plans before, divorce was like dumping a plumber’s toolbox on my head. It’s taken a bit of time to heal, to sort out the mess, and to know what to do with all those monkey wrenches. My ex and I have joint custody of our daughters, so we split the duties, as well as the time spent...
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posted: Tuesday March 19th - 10:06am

Losing It over Losing My Wallet

Raising three daughters as a single dad is a challenge. Doing it with attention deficit is an ADDventure.

Life with ADHD can turn ordinary events into an adventure. This is especially true when something throws you off your routine. That can happen every other moment when you have ADHD. That is why I place my keys in the kitchen drawer, my eyeglasses on the shelf in my bedroom, and my wallet in my bureau -- always my bureau. So where was my wallet? The day...
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