My wife of 20 years recently admitted to having an affair. My ADHD played a part in her disillusionment with our marriage. We are both ready to forgive each other, but our teenage sons are angry at her.
by Melissa Orlov
You must encourage your sons to forgive their mother. The first step is for you to acknowledge their anger and pain. Your wife put your family life at risk with her actions, and their feelings are understandable. The second step is to talk with them about their anger. Listen to them without judgment, and ask them what they want that pain to turn into. Help them envision the outcomes of several different approaches: not talking to her; talking with her about it; forgiving her.
Finally, let them know that everybody makes mistakes, and that an important part of recovering from them is learning what not to do in the future. Let them know what you and your wife are doing to ensure that it won't happen again.