"After a few drinks, my ADHD fiancée gets too loud and too full of energy. She makes people laugh, but she annoys me. How do I tell her without hurting her feelings?"
by Melissa Orlov
Just let her know your feelings, so she can respond constructively. Sit down with her, tell her how much you love her, and explain that her loud behavior bothers you. Then tell her why. You should know the answer before having the conversation. Are you bothered by the attention she is getting? Do you not like noisiness in general? Are you afraid that she has a drinking problems?
As you talk, come up with strategies that work for both of you. She may take your comments to heart and tone it down, or be willing to respond to a discreet cue from you to do so. Or she may revel in her party behavior. If this is the case, and you’re out with a group, try talking with someone else in the group to tune out some of her livelier moments. If that doesn't work, talk with a marriage counselor about strategies for dealing with your fiancée's behavior.