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My Husband's Defensive about Driving

I have a difficult time in the car when my ADHD husband is driving. He is a distracted driver, and I don't feel safe. When I say something, he gets angry, which makes it worse. Help!

by Melissa Orlov

The best time to talk about this problem is not when you are in the car! Approach him with your concerns, rather than a comment about his bad driving, so you don't make him defensive. State your problem (or fears) and suggest some solutions. Perhaps you need to share the driving on long trips, or agree on a reasonable driving speed when your husband is behind the wheel. Discuss strategies to stop his talking on the phone or eating while driving.

Our family agreed that, when the children were in the car, my ADHD husband would stay under an agreed-upon driving speed. I drive on longer trips, and my husband gets to work on his computer or cell phone. We both benefit, as he gets to complete some work, freeing him to enjoy our destination once we arrive.

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Source: My Husband's Defensive about Driving