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ADDitude's top ADD/ADHD experts answer readers' questions about parenting children with, and about adults living with, ADD/ADHD.

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Archives: March 2013

posted: Wednesday March 27th - 11:54am

"Put down the Game and Pick up Your Room!"

Why can my son, who is nine and who has ADHD, stay focused on a video screen for hours, but can't turn his attention to cleaning his room for 15 minutes, even when I try to turn it into a game?

larrysilverthumb
Unfortunately, all children — and some adults — prefer activities that are fun and enjoyable to those that are "work." Watching a TV program or playing a computer game is certainly more fun than cleaning his room. Rather than turn cleaning into a game, think about how you can structure this task for him, so it is easier to do. I find that once a child or...
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posted: Tuesday March 26th - 9:53am

Bouncing Back after Infidelity

My wife of 20 years recently admitted to having an affair. My ADHD, which I found out about recently, played a part in her disillusionment with our marriage. We are both ready to forgive each other and try again, but our teenage sons are angry at her. How can I help them get through this?

MelissaOrlov_120
You must encourage your sons to forgive their mother. The first step is for you to acknowledge their anger and pain. Your wife put your family life at risk with her actions, and their feelings are understandable. The second step is to talk with them about their anger. Listen to them without judgment, and ask them what they want that pain to turn into. Help them...
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posted: Monday March 25th - 11:05am

Discrimination by a Professor?

An instructor asked me to drop her class when she found out I had ADHD. Is this discrimination?

MattCohen_120px
If the school is subject to either the ADA or 504 laws, you have two courses of action. First, request accommodations for ADHD through your school's disability office. The accommodations would be based on current documentation of your disability, how it impairs functioning, the need for accommodations, and how accommodations can address your disability. Second, if you believe your professor is discriminating against you, this may...
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posted: Wednesday March 20th - 7:28pm

They Pick on My Daughter for Daydreaming

My daughter, an eighth-grader who has inattentive ADHD, is being picked on in school. She tells me that her peers think she's stupid because she daydreams a lot. Should I talk with her doctor about adjusting her stimulant dosage? And how should I handle the bullying?

larrysilverthumb
If your daughter's problems with peers relate to her daydreaming, start by meeting with her teachers to learn what they observe and why they believe your daughter has difficulties. Does she, in fact, daydream, or do her teachers have concerns about her being inattentive? Clarify what "daydreaming" means to them: Is she easily distracted by what goes on in class? Does she have problems keeping her...
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posted: Wednesday March 20th - 10:44am

I Can Never Plan Ahead With My ADHD Friend

My best friend has ADHD and tells everyone that she loves to "live in the moment." I appreciate many of her qualities, but her lack of willingness to plan ahead leaves me resentful sometimes. What can I do about this?

MelissaOrlov_120
This is tricky. She probably tells everyone she likes to live in the moment because, given her ADHD, it is difficult to do anything else. There are a couple of ways for you to compromise. Set a specific time to be together, but don't decide on what you're going to do until the day of your date. Good friends can always find something fun to do...
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posted: Tuesday March 19th - 10:37am

Putting a Stop to Bullying

My 12-year-old son, who has ADHD, is being bullied at school. One boy punches him in front of classmates. The school says they will keep the two boys separated. However, my kid's self-esteem is in the pits. Please help.

MattCohen_120px
Bullying is a problem that affects students nationwide. Laws requiring schools to formulate policies on bullying vary from district to district — so it's important to investigate your school's policy on it. It is also important that you document any new instances of bullying, and put the school on notice of the inappropriate behaviors affecting your son. Such documentation should be detailed — include dates, locations, witnesses,...
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posted: Tuesday March 12th - 4:35pm

Is ADHD Threatening Your Relationship?

Take this quiz and find out.

StephanieManes
Have you or your significant other been diagnosed with ADHD? ADHD symptoms may affect the way you relate to others. This is especially true in marriages and romantic partnerships, in which differences in perception and brain function are usually interpreted as lack of care, interest, or love. Failure to recognize ADHD’s effects on your relationship causes frustration and resentment -- and possibly separation or divorce. The following...
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