Stop Criticizing Me Already!

"I have ADHD, and my husband is angry because I haven't made more progress in managing my symptoms. He criticizes me a lot and tells me he has a right to be angry. What do I do?"
The Experts | posted by Melissa Orlov

One of the destructive myths about anger in a marriage is "My spouse deserves the anger" or has earned it. Spouses use this belief to justify cruel behavior. Though it may be hard, stand up to him, because it's not acceptable to treat you this way.

Tell him, "You may be angry with me, but you have to find a constructive way to express it, instead of making fun of me. Then we can work together to address your gripes." Ask your doctor or coach to measure your progress in managing symptoms. If you have made progress, say to your husband, "I've accomplished these things. Your perception is wrong," or, if you haven't, say, "Oh, you have a point -- I didn't get as far as I thought." Either way, the assessment from a professional will help you optimize your ADHD treatment.

You have different challenges than your spouse does. You may be distracted, but he has an anger problem. Both are significant hurdles to overcome.

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