I'm on Meds, But She's Still Stewing

Q: Medication has given me more focus at work, but my partner is still angry about how my ADHD has affected our relationship. Can’t she be happy for me?
The Experts | posted by Melissa Orlov

A: I’m sure your partner is glad for your new, improved focus at work, but she probably wants some of that attention to carry over into your relationship.

Ask yourself, "What can I do to be a better partner?" Talk with your spouse and ask her what she would recommend. Perhaps you don’t help around the house as much as she would like you to, leading her to feel that you don’t care about her.

Use that new-found focus to create a system that takes the load off her by your doing some chores — without her having to nag you about it. Or she may miss being touched by you in a romantic way. If so, schedule time for cuddling and sex.

Don't expect her to change quickly. She will need to see a consistent change in your behavior before her anger subsides.

Melissa Orlov is the author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage and blogs on ADHD and Marriage with Dr. Edward Hallowell.

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