Published on ADDitudeMag.com

Slowing Down with Adult Attention-Deficit

Unemployment is a long, lonely journey. I'm sad, and desperate now for a job where my talents can be used.

by Jane D.


I woke up depressed this morning. As one of the roommates observed, "You sound sad."

I’m desperate for a satisfying career, and many times I wonder if God is testing me. You keep going because you hope someone will find you, and indeed there are warm pockets in the water, moments when I feel hope. It could be a talk with a friend, a word of encouragement from a family member, a pipedream.

Mostly there are many moments when I feel like I’m going to sink. Every day is a struggle for sanity, laughter, and medication.

My latest conflict occurred with Dr. Y, my newest doctor at the Buddhaman's practice. I was fined $250 for canceling an appointment at the eleventh hour about two months ago. The ADHD stimulant Adderall has run dry, and I called to ask for a refill. The secretary said that Dr. Y wanted the money in cash, please.

"I'm sorry, but can't she make one exception," I asked. This problem was new to me. Other doctors had called a day earlier to remind me of an appointment.

Dr. Y just didn’t do that. "$250 is a lot of money," I said. The secretary heard the sadness in my voice. "Okay, I'm going to help you," she said.

Kindness emanates from the cracks of the sidewalks in this Sodom and Gomorrah. I saw it in the bus driver who stopped in front of Metropolitan Hospital for a drunken passenger, who was probably homeless. He coaxed the man to get off at that stop.

"If I keep going and drop you off down the road, you're going to be in real trouble man." The man finally got off and the driver exhaled a sigh of relief. Kindness has nothing to do with religion.

Simple pleasures surface from a rooftop dinner with the roommates and the boy. We live on food stamps, unemployment claims, and hope.

But from the roof, I see the bright flash of sun, a glimpse of the Hudson, the top of the skyline, and a deep blue sky. And I’m reminded that we are tiny in the scope of things, and there are greater problems than what is at hand.


Copyright © 1998 - 2013 New Hope Media LLC. All rights reserved. Your use of this site is governed by our
Terms of Service (http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/terms.html) and
Privacy Policy (http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/privacy.html).
ADDitude does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only.
See additional information at http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/disclaimer.html
New Hope Media, 39 W. 37th Street, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10018

Adult ADHD | Parenting ADHD Children | ADHD Treatment | School & Learning Disabilities | About ADHD | ADHD Resources | ADHD Community
Source: Slowing Down with Adult Attention-Deficit