Will any relationship be long-lasting and ADD-friendly? It seems I get so bored so easily.
by Jane D.
A season of serial dating and I am officially burnt out. I am not sure if it is the ADD chick in me—the impulsive, spicy, razor-tongued girl in me who lashes out at the men who have been attempting to continue to date me—or that simply I am settling for men who are offering me scraps.
There are two kinds of men on the horizon: the uber-control freak (who controls everything from phone conversations to what I order at the dinner table) and the boring-bland man, plain as flavorless yogurt. The 34-year-old teacher continues to be interested in me, but I have one thing to say, "Bad kisser, body odor (he smells like old detergent, even his breath), and boring, boring boring." His kissing and touching give me the willies. I can barely feel his kissing; they are like little baby pecks. I know this is perhaps too much dish for an ADD-related site, but the point is I wonder if I am bored because of my ADD or if I've yet to meet Mr. Right.
At the same time, I feel like I need to hold onto to the bad kisser because he might accept my ADD self. So far he's the only man who has offered condolences to the betta fish who died last week. I was in such a funk that I decided to skip the Adderall and Lexapro for the weekend, and be my wacky self. I feel like when I take it, I am nervous, jittery, anxious, and without it, I am ditzy, loopy, and more free. The meds feel like a corset—while a day without pills makes me feel as free as wearing a dress bra-less, if that makes any sense.
The whole serial dating thing bothered me because I started to wonder if any relationship will be long lasting. It seems like I get bored so easily with jobs, tasks, people, and men. Or maybe it's this crazy city.
On a positive I completed the task yesterday of opening the stove for the first time and attempting to tackle a recipe: artichoke pasta. I proved that I can boil water properly :) The next step will be to open the door of that square white box, otherwise known as the oven. I feel like when I have a great expanse of time, and when I shut out the world (no roommate, no family, no stupid men), I can accomplish things.
On the other hand, it feels awfully lonely at the end of the day since I have a hard time multitasking. The sunny splash of the day was walking over to the church, attending evening mass, and secretly praying for what I always pray for: inner peace, happiness, and a really cool ADD-friendly guy, who will hopefully appear before I enter my Botox phase.