Jane D., a 30-something professional writer and student with ADHD, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives, works, and studies in a big city on the East Coast.

posted: Monday September 14th - 11:45am

A Blue Season

A few months from a milestone birthday, and (maybe) the end of my marriage, I am trying to accept life as it comes – flaws and all.

Relationship Problems for Adults with ADHD
For over a decade, I’ve been searching for the conventional stability of marriage and family. But in the last few months, I’ve started to feel it’s a hopeless cause. Maybe, as an adult with ADHD I’m destined for constant movement – personally and professionally – instead of stasis. After only one year, the husband decided getting married was a mistake. We are more dissimilar than Mars and...
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posted: Thursday July 23rd - 12:07pm

Did ADHD Kill Cupid?

Is ADHD responsible for my marriage problems…or was it doomed all along?

ADHD Marriage: Did my condition ruin my relationship?
We’ve had hundreds of fights. They often end with him hanging up on me, or banning any more talk about babies…honeymoons…you get the idea. And in the midst of one of these blowouts, I finally told my husband that I have ADHD. I guess it was inevitable it would come out one way or another. He’d never heard of it before. He’s 15 years my senior and...
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posted: Tuesday April 28th - 9:30am

Bless the Daydreamers

My ADHD daydreams always irritate the husband, but I just can’t bring myself to apologize for the rose-colored glimpses my fantasies give me of the world.

ADHD daydreams
We are far into spring, but winter refuses to exit. I wake to darkness and chilly weather in the low 40s. I go through the motions of another day robotically. Lay out clothes, make sandwich, trudge to office, go through the grind of work and study. Hey, that’s life. Lately the little joys that I once had have popped, fizzled, and fallen by the wayside: the...
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posted: Monday March 2nd - 9:00am

A Buffet Girl

I’ve come to accept my ADHD traits with some grace. But how do I keep my family—and professors— happy while trying to sample a little of everything life has to offer?

Career Advice for ADHD Adults
I am on unofficial probation — with school and homework and the husband (see So Long New Year’s Resolutions. It’s what happens when you pile too much on your plate (even if it’s not purposeful), when you’re stretched so thin that you’re going to crack, when you’ve lost sight perhaps of who you are — or maybe just haven’t accepted it. Let’s start with my PhD...
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posted: Wednesday January 14th - 9:00am

So Long, New Year's Resolutions

The resolution was to talk less and do more. I’ve been talking a lot about “shoulds” and “coulds” (I should write a book, I should find a new hobby), and not actually executing or “closing the loop.”

New Year's Resolutions for 2015 for ADHD Adults
The New Year’s resolutions are already semi-broken despite all the talk and promises of 2015 being different. The resolution was to talk less and do more. In recent years I’ve been talking a lot about “shoulds” and “coulds” (I should write a book, I should find a new hobby), and not actually executing or “closing the loop” as the sister would say. “You know you are...
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posted: Friday December 19th - 9:16am

Walking On Eggshells at Work and in Love

ADHD and smartphones
First of all, thank you to all of you who shared your stories and insight on work and life, the roadblocks, and also the successes in response to my last post. For an upcoming conference I am attending, I was asked to choose my favorite quote for my bio. Ironically it is, “Go the distance.” Maybe I subconsciously pick it because it’s what I hope and strive...
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posted: Thursday October 23rd - 7:49pm

A for Effort, F in Focus

Work Evaluation, Succeeding on the Job with ADHD
“It’s interesting. I’ve worked with students who are dyslexic before. And yet I’m not sure what it is. I think you are just wired differently. It’s as if most people go from point A to B, and you go in a wide circle. I mean, you still get there in the end, and in fact you do it wonderfully. You have that sparkle that not everyone...
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posted: Tuesday September 2nd - 1:55pm

I Do...Have Wedding Jitters

Jane D. Wedding Dress
The summer has been rough — I've been juggling a quartet of part-time jobs to feed the rental beast. And, oh, yes, I’m getting married. Planning a wedding in a long-distance relationship is an art in itself. We are now less than one week away from the big day, yet the checklist of tasks I'd thought were long done are not. There are last-minute cancellations from a...
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posted: Wednesday June 11th - 4:42pm

Wedding Planning the ADHD Way

Wedding Planning, the ADHD Way
Welcome to the world of wedding planning the ADHD way. The ADHD me wants everything done at once, but often doesn’t know where to start — and as everyone knows, the modern-day wedding can involve a bajillion things to do. My mind often leaps from beach wedding to Vegas wedding to winery wedding, only to have the fiancé stop to remind me that we’ve already signed...
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posted: Thursday June 5th - 1:02am

Falling into Focus

Jane D. Hanging Courage Mobile
Just when everything was going so right, everything has started to go so wrong. The lump is back. I found it in early April this time in the upper corner of what could be breast or chest. The position was debatable but close enough to the original cancer spot where it was breast, and it’s not going anywhere. Not again. Such dumb luck. WTF. I’ve never been...
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