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Adult ADHD Blog (A Woman's Perspective)

 

Adult ADD/ADHD blogger, Jane D., writes about dating and relationships; interviewing for, working at, and losing a variety of jobs; and of course, surviving and thriving with her ADD/ADHD (along with depression and anxiety) symptoms and treatments.

Not one to shy away from tough topics, most recently the 30-something Jane D. has written about losing her job, her apartment, and the love of her life -- and turning everything around by taking a freelance gig halway around the world in Hong Kong. Read Read Jane D.'s full bio and browse her blog archives: 2007, 2008, 2009, and 2010.

Recent Blog Posts

Me, Myself, and ADHD

posted: Thursday January 26th - 3:19pm

I'm tired of the Hong Kong adventure. I want out. But what if it's not this city? What if it's me? How can I keep running from my ADHD self?

This year, I decided to spend Chinese New Year on my own catching up and writing. For weeks before this mega holiday, I'd been packing my calendar with errands and busywork to avoid the pain of getting together with people -- more specifically, relatives. Family time, lately, does little more than remind me of what I lack and where I am lacking. To be honest, I'm burned...
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Adventure? Or ADHD Avoidance?

posted: Monday January 16th - 11:19am

Guiding a group of 40-plus college students through Asia, I feel lonely, scared, and sick about avoiding the to-do list at home that promises to help me reign in my ADHD.

Last week, I launched yet another adventure chaperoning 40-plus college students from my alma mater on a journey through another Asian city. I want to do a good job on this, my first-ever 'collegiate tour guide' trip and a much-needed respite from Hong Kong. The grandmother observed me packing yet another suitcase shortly after my return from Gotham: "You are so busy," she said matter-of-factly. It...
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This Year Will Be Different. Right?

posted: Thursday December 29th - 8:03am

I return home for the holidays to learn that life did not pause in my absence. Friends have moved on and moved up. Will this year's resolutions help me do the same?

In the four months since I was last home, the trees have lost their leaves and the chill has returned. Yet in many ways it's as if I never left thanks to my unhealthy Facebook-status-update addiction. Since I landed on the East Coast Christmas Eve, I've been enjoying my time away from the human crush of Hong Kong, where I'm starved for both space and real...
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Where Is My Wonderful Life?

posted: Tuesday December 20th - 1:25am

This isn't the 36th Christmas I'd imagined for myself. Missing are the Norman Rockwell home and picket fence. Missing is the Prince Charming. Missing is the sense of being appreciated... and loved.

Tinsel, bows, plastic Santas, and paralyzing ADHD unhappiness. During this jolly holly season, old demons and relentless memories resurface daily. The winter blues are back. Remember the Christmas when you strolled Central Park with the boyfriend? Remember the year you and the sister schlepped to Queens, where the mother made you all go to church and asked if you had Bible-loving boyfriends, too? What great memories. Well,...
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ADHD Destiny Vs. Self-Determination

posted: Monday December 12th - 11:31am

"One does not make the wind blow but is blown by it." This ancient Asian proverb seems so sadly appropriate as I surrender to my ADHD fate after 36 years. Or will I?

The 36th birthday came and went and without much drama. I suffered through it with a few friends of the same vintage, all of us using the occasion as an excuse to eat, drink, and be merry. Another year older. Yeah. In truth, I had three birthday parties, blew out three sets of candles on three separate cakes, and thought more than once how...
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My Tragic Aria: Can I Re-Write This ADHD Opera?

posted: Monday November 7th - 10:16am

When the soaring high notes of my life come crashing down into gut-wrenching, ADHD-fueled sorrow, I know that I alone can change the tune. Or can I?

My life with attention deficit disorder (ADD/ADHD) is a heart-wrenching opera of soaring high notes followed by agonizing lows. Like any good opera, it hurts so much you can't stop listening. My song was light and joyful last week when I published a new piece of writing and gained acceptance to a coveted certificate program. Then, just like that, the verse turned despondent when I stepped...
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ADHD Fairytales: Do I Deserve a Prince Charming, Too?

posted: Tuesday October 25th - 8:04am

My younger cousin's recent engagement has sparked in me feeling of ADHD inadequacy and loneliness. Will I ever find a prince who can love me because of -- or in spite of -- my ADHD?

My youngest cousin is getting married, at age 28. She's known him for only a year, this was her first and only boyfriend, and now they are headed down the altar. She's been sneaky about it, never revealing to any family members that she had a beau before they went off to Europe together last winter. And then somewhere on the Twitter feed I read recently,...
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Dim Sum For the ADHD Soul

posted: Monday October 17th - 7:00am

In Hong Kong, I've found dumplings, wife cake, and milk tea. Yet in this city of precious few English-speaking therapists, I feel I am starving, wasting away without treatment or support for my ADHD.

My hunt for an ADD/ADHD therapist in Hong Kong has degraded into a round robin of unanswered phone calls to medical professionals. Not many American or British shrinks work in this primarily Asian city, and the one that I've found charges such an astronomical hourly rate that I might as well fly home to New York for a session. So what about the Chinese mental-health professionals...
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The Thrill Is Gone... Again

posted: Thursday October 6th - 7:00pm

The thrill and the excitement of swimming are lost for now, and I am left desperately trying to recapture them, wondering if the ADHD has once again snatched away something I loved dearly and that kept me sane.

Despite the vibrant fall foliage, perfect blue skies, and too-orange-y Halloween kitsch, a dark gray cloud looms over my autumn season. And it has manifested in the water. Since the summer, my appetite for swimming -- once a passion and an alternative treatment for my ADHD symptoms -- has dimmed. My love for the pool, for the water, and for life has faded. I swim with...
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Who Will Accept Me as an ADD Adult If I Can't Accept Myself?

posted: Monday October 3rd - 9:00am

Searching for a reason for why I don't fit in at my new job and why no one from my old job keeps in touch, I begin to wonder if it's them, me, the unusual place I'm in in my life, or because of the ADD/ADHD.

Though, as I mentioned in my last post, I've been discouraged by how quickly the relationships I formed at my last job have faded, I still gave my ex-boss a courtesy phone call to check in -- and she ignored it. Meanwhile, the other former colleagues never surfaced. (And why would they? I was temporary anyway, and as the grandmother says,...
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