Jane D., a professional writer with ADHD in her early 40s, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives and works near a big city on the West Coast.

posted: Tuesday December 6th - 10:22am

My Birthday Wish

This year, instead of wishing away my ADHD and the unstable, ever-changing life it brings, I am taking a deep breath and blowing out my candles with the dream that society can start to accept us folks with ADHD the zany, wonderful way we already are.

This year on my birthday, I am coping with ADHD with a wish on my candles
Growing up, birthday celebrations were whimsical, magical times. I remember one year my parents hired a professional clown, and another when they catered my party with Happy Meals from McDonald's. Those were the days of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and goody bags. But as I got older, the bright shine of birthdays faded with each passing year. My parents divorced. My sister and I moved, and after that I can't...
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posted: Thursday June 9th - 9:30am

Moving On After a Breakup is Hard to Do

My ADHD makes it easy to forget things – when it’s appointments or birthdays – but where are its powers of memory-lapse when I want to let go of my soon-to-be-ex-husband?

Moving on After a Divorce with Adult ADHD
I should be good at this – moving on that is – after all of the kinks and roadblocks that ADHD has brought into my life. But even after picking myself up and brushing myself off time and time again, I’ve discovered that I’m not. I’m tired of the constant ups, downs, and loop-de-loops this condition brings – especially by my age, 40. My latest roller...
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posted: Tuesday February 2nd - 12:24pm

Will I Spend Valentine’s Day Alone?

I look at my peers who have been able to go from dating to marriage to starting a family and think, “Will that ever be me?” This year, it feels like cupid is ignoring me and my ADHD.

ADHD and Relationships: Will I Spend Valentine’s Day Alone?
I’ve had so many address changes and job switches in my life that I’ve stopped keeping track. And when I pause to think about the number of men I’ve dated? Well, that figure veers close to countless, too. In the past twelve years, there have been close to a dozen male friends. Is it boredom? Is it the ADHD? Is it just bad luck or bad...
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posted: Monday January 4th - 12:11pm

Moving Forward

Last year was the year I turned 40 and the year my marriage ended. In this New Year, I’m determined to only look ahead – to start over and stay hopeful.

Starting Over After Disappointment with Adult ADHD
I returned home to the father, stepmother and the sister for Christmas. After the roller coaster ride of the past season, I needed the time away. I left behind the left coast, dark memories of my marriage that never took off, and the soon-to-be-ex-husband. For the last month, I’ve looked at others my age with envy – their happy families, their professional achievements – but at...
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posted: Tuesday December 1st - 4:19pm

Happy 40, You’re Flying Solo

With a milestone birthday lurking around the corner I wonder, “Will I ever find someone who loves me as I am?”

ADHD Marriage: Will I Ever Find Love Again?
The marriage is, for all intents and purposes, over – and not by my choice. The husband has repeatedly told me that he doesn't want to be married; he doesn't love me anymore. We are incompatible, there's nothing that I have that he wants, and he's not attracted to me. I need to find someone who wants a house, kids, and to come home and have...
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posted: Monday October 26th - 11:58am

When Will It Be My Turn?

Conquering the green-eyed monster starts by giving up that age-old belief that the grass is always greener in your best friend’s yard.

Dealing with Jealousy for Adults with ADHD
I am green with envy. In the past month, two of my friends have called me with the great news. The IVF worked. They are celebrating 10 years of marriage. The past few years, their greatest trouble has been crossing the finish lines of their established lives – adding a child to their happy marriages. All the while, I fought to make it out of the...
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posted: Monday September 14th - 11:45am

A Blue Season

A few months from a milestone birthday, and (maybe) the end of my marriage, I am trying to accept life as it comes – flaws and all.

Relationship Problems for Adults with ADHD
For over a decade, I’ve been searching for the conventional stability of marriage and family. But in the last few months, I’ve started to feel it’s a hopeless cause. Maybe, as an adult with ADHD I’m destined for constant movement – personally and professionally – instead of stasis. After only one year, the husband decided getting married was a mistake. We are more dissimilar than Mars and...
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posted: Thursday July 23rd - 12:07pm

Did ADHD Kill Cupid?

Is ADHD responsible for my marriage problems…or was it doomed all along?

ADHD Marriage: Did my condition ruin my relationship?
We’ve had hundreds of fights. They often end with him hanging up on me, or banning any more talk about babies…honeymoons…you get the idea. And in the midst of one of these blowouts, I finally told my husband that I have ADHD. I guess it was inevitable it would come out one way or another. He’d never heard of it before. He’s 15 years my senior and...
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posted: Tuesday April 28th - 9:30am

Bless the Daydreamers

My ADHD daydreams always irritate the husband, but I just can’t bring myself to apologize for the rose-colored glimpses my fantasies give me of the world.

ADHD daydreams
We are far into spring, but winter refuses to exit. I wake to darkness and chilly weather in the low 40s. I go through the motions of another day robotically. Lay out clothes, make sandwich, trudge to office, go through the grind of work and study. Hey, that’s life. Lately the little joys that I once had have popped, fizzled, and fallen by the wayside: the...
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posted: Monday March 2nd - 9:00am

A Buffet Girl

I’ve come to accept my ADHD traits with some grace. But how do I keep my family—and professors— happy while trying to sample a little of everything life has to offer?

Career Advice for ADHD Adults
I am on unofficial probation — with school and homework and the husband (see So Long New Year’s Resolutions. It’s what happens when you pile too much on your plate (even if it’s not purposeful), when you’re stretched so thin that you’re going to crack, when you’ve lost sight perhaps of who you are — or maybe just haven’t accepted it. Let’s start with my PhD...
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