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Jane D., a 30-something businesswoman with ADHD, writes about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives and works in Hong Kong.
posted:
Tuesday May 14th - 2:06pm
Confronting the Future — and Fearing the Unknown
The spring fling continues with my long distance relationship with Mr. X. I'll call him X for the unknown. Our relationship, a blend of pen pals, friendship, and romance, is tenuous. Right now it comes down to cross-continental conversations and planning vacations together. Yes, it does sound more like a fling. The unknown is extremely daunting, especially as I inch towards 40 — I see no...
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posted:
Monday March 18th - 11:20am
Spring Fling?With a new season around the corner and a greater acceptance of my ADHD, I've decided to give romance another chance.
There are the signs and signals and possibilities of spring, and the budding of a possible romance. I'm pinching myself as a warning to not get overly excited, take things slow. I've been here before and usually it starts with great fireworks and comes with a crash landing.
This time the romantic potential is a friend, a friend who has been there for me through thick...
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posted:
Thursday February 14th - 8:58am
New Sparks, New Flame?
The rumble started last autumn: you might call it cabin fever, or more simply put, a need for a break from routine. I wanted something new, something colorful, a new spark to reignite things. New sparks are as necessary as air and water to us ADHDers, and they come in the form of new jobs, new projects, and new places to visit. But lately even...
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posted:
Wednesday January 16th - 1:40pm
A New Year — and a New Crisis
Trouble surfaced just as the year began, this time in the form of blood. A few days before the New Year I noticed the Kool-Aid colored pee. At first I wondered if it was the cherry-colored energy drinks or the carrots-for-breakfast diet I’d had over the past month.
The panic was a good thing because it spurred me to the hospital to get it checked out. The...
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posted:
Wednesday January 9th - 11:15am
Uneven Cartwheels: My Mind in Motion
No sooner had I returned to the Asian city from the trip with the students than I started feeling restless again. The restlessness is familiar and yet uncomfortable. "Oh, no, not again," I think to myself as my mind spins and does uneven cartwheels.
My work contract and visa officially end in June, but there seems to be some promising signs that both could be renewed, so...
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posted:
Sunday November 25th - 6:50pm
Another Year Older and Losing Hope
Travel does terrible things to a person. I know that this sounds funny, even ironic coming from me, the girl with the travel bug, but the bug has been dying and replaced by a desperation to settle down in one place. I am not sure if it's age or exhaustion catching up.
I went away for two weeks back to the States with a bunch of the...
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posted:
Monday October 22nd - 11:22am
Dumped on, Deleted, and...Dating?Friends or more? Mixed signals made me wonder, so I asked point-blank in my blunt ADHD way.
Autumn is in full season here in this Asian city; thankfully the humidity has died down and I can once again walk about without being drenched in sweat. I've been swimming and working, going at both with great gusto mostly to try to keep my mind off the man problem and my desire to date people who are simply unavailable.
The latest problem guy is the Texan...
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posted:
Monday October 15th - 10:16am
Lost in Translation, Yet Again"Can't you just change your attitude?"
Family gatherings are usually a painful affair for the single girl. Here in this busy hustle-bustle moshpit of an Asian city, we had a long weekend to celebrate what I call Mooncake Festival. The grandmother and I went to the aunt's home and ate with the cousins who are all married. Everyone is married or a couple (except for the Dennis the Menace-like 5-year-old nephew), and...
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posted:
Monday September 24th - 10:13am
Picking up the PatternBack to work on the other continent, and back to my struggle to find lasting love. The old familiar question remains: Why don't others find me worthy?
Back in Hong Kong, the pattern starts again: the overpromising, the seeking, the whining, and the overthinking about my great date drought. It's been easy to slip back into this crazed pattern as I slip back into the city; this place is on speed anyway. The escalators are twice as fast, the people walk twice as fast, and as a friend observes, there is almost...
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posted:
Wednesday September 5th - 9:48am
« All Blogs
Still Restless or Ready to Settle?The words, "I want to settle down," seem as steady and consistent as a heartbeat. But how to get there has been a lifetime challenge and constant struggle.
The panic sets in now and the countdown begins again. I am counting down the days, literally three, two and then back onto the airplane. Back to the other continent. To another time zone, to another language, lifestyle, to dense humidity, mosh pits of people and noise. Back to work. I am really looking forward to this...not.
I am internally kicking and screaming my way back this...
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